I suspect mine will be too!!! So I hope you didn't respond and just hit the delete button when she sent that???? She just loves to start fights with you. Crazy!!! Why would someone want to spend so much time messing with someone like that??? I've never understood that.
Did you hear my good news? The tester/evaluator of my kids seems to just recommend public school mostly for D9 and she's very pro-public school and thinks kids can only get social skills through public school, and she is recommending she only go 1-2 hours a day in a special ed classroom or regular classroom with aide. I think that totally kills H's plans for them to attend full-time, and that's his expert he hired. Yours is going to work out too; they may want the world but they're not going to get it I don't think... Karen
I did indeed hear your good news, Karen. That is great! We knew you were right. A WAS will try to make anything selfish they do or believe sound like it's in everyone else's best interests. They have a "What's good for me is good for everyone" sort of psychosis.
And thanks for your words of encouragement, dear lady. I greatly appreciate your always cheerful, sunny disposition.
Happy Father's Day, NC!!! You shouldn't! I think you should have unlimited all-day access on Father's Day, just like your W should have the same for Mother's Day. Didn't they write that into your D papers or will you have an opportunity to do that in the future (you're still working out final details aren't you)??? Karen
Thanks for the sentiments, my friends. I had a decent Father's Day after all.
A couple of weeks ago xW had asked me about Father's Day since it would fall on her week of custody. I told her that I expected that regardless of the custody schedule, Father's Day would always belong to me and Mother's Day would always belong to her. xW got snippy (as usual) and said that that would have been the arrangement IF I had signed the Separation Agreement, but because I had not then if I wanted to have a day during her week I needed to give up a day from my own. She went further to say that she would "give" me Father's Day if I gave her one of my holidays this year -- specifically Halloween, since that falls on my weeks of custody.
I was a bit taken back and p-o'ed at her so I gave no answer. We left that unresolved.
Yesterday I was beginning to resign myself to the fact that my S's were not going to be able to spend any time with their father on the one day so intended. Then xW sent an email early in the morning that reiterated her question of what I wanted to do for this day. She suggested that either (a) I trade the entire day for Halloween (again) or (b) take the boys out for lunch.
I was quite perturbed but not surprised (strangely) how I was being asked to barter for what should be my right as a father. Never mind the trade she offered was a crappy deal where I give up a major holiday for a holiday that for her has absolutely no real meaning anyway, it's just another Sunday to her. The very idea that I am now being forced to haggle for time with my children is offensive to me. On the other hand, I guess I had better get used to it because this Thursday's mediation session is going to be just more of the same.
I told xW that I would take the boys to lunch.
So, after church service I met xW and our S's in the parking lot. xW announced that the boys had come to a decision about where to take me for my Father's Day dinner. They wanted to take me to Bullwinkle's (think Chucky Cheese's with better food and better cartoon characters.) My thought was that this was xW's way to get me to fork out a little money to buy the boys an overpriced pizza meal, but I didn't care. I even extended the offer to Xw to join us, my treat, but she (as expected) declined, saying she had to go shopping instead. (She had turned down my offer to take her and the boys out to dinner for Mother's Day too. So no surprises.) Again, I did not care either way, but it struck me that all she wanted was for someone to babysit the kids for her, otherwise she couldn't care less. Whatever.
Sadly, we discovered only when we got there that Bullwinkle's was shut down and had gone out of business. That was disappointing, as I was looking forward to kicking back, taking in a decent meal, watching an animatronic show with my S's, and watching as they played all the games and activities. Now this plan was out.
So thinking fast, I took them to Outback's for a very good meal, and then from there to Putt-Putt Fun Center. We had a very good time, so much so the boys each had a meltdown when it came time to leave. I can say that I was not happy for our time together to come to an end either.
((((nc))))... I can't tell you how utterly *pi**ed* i am at this woman and how fargin selfish she is.
This is NOT about HER!! Why must she constantly use those boys as leverage. Im sorry but I know in the past you have said she is a good mother, but seriously, I don't buy that anymore. As much as my H might do things to me etc. I would never ever use my boys has a pawn, of ANY kind. I haven't. I have been in situations to do just that, but I know how much they love their father and how much he loves them, and its just not right to get them wrapped up in our issues.
You are their father, case closed. This should have been a no-brainer. But to try and negotiate Halloween for Father's day is RIDICULOUS!!
Im proud of the way you handled it, but I don't know how you do it. Someone needs to put her in her place... I will volunteer!!!
You are a great father NC~ keep doing what your doing, your boys will realize later in life how hard you worked to keep things together, and will hopefully realize what she did to tear it apart.
Thinking of you!
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Wow! Your W is such a witch! I bet if/when Mother's Day falls on your week she would NEVER agree to trade another holiday for that. Horrible. One good thing is that hopefully when you finish the mediation stuff or at some point you'll be able to get in written form, stuff like Father's Day kids should be with you, and Mother's Day with their mom and no giving up of another holiday or whatever. Crazy!!! And why is she helping your boys decide where to take you for Father's Day. My H decides that (although he usually picks a place the kids like too), and I wouldn't think of deciding or help deciding that. I can't help thinking a year or 2 from now, you will be so much better off with her mostly out of your life!!!
I'm glad you finally were able to have a good Father's Day. That's so sweet that both your boys had meltdowns, my D9 does that too. It's a nice way to look at it, that they're having so much fun they have a hard time giving it up. (((((NC)))))
Yours is going to work out too; they may want the world but they're not going to get it I don't think... Karen