Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

So, damage control mode. As the circumstances of which the injury were sustained may raise suspicion by both ER staff and the school, I emailed S12's teacher that I had no knowledge of their absence nor of the injury and how it was acquired until 8:30pm the night before and would be happy to assist with any concerns they may have.

This is so bleeding irresponsible it's not even any where near funny.

When I questioned S11 why in the world S12 was in the trunk of the car, XW was barking in the back ground "she was watching him the whole time". Well, HELLO! If you were watching him, this shouldn't have happened! If you weren't partying all weekend and taken them TO SCHOOL as they should have been, this wouldn't have happened!

And they (XW) mainly, always said I was a 'tight as s' when it came to the kids? Well, guess what? NOTHING like this would have happened under my watch, NEVER! In her care thus far, we have hands slammed in car doors, bruises from "playing" with OM, busted teeth and now this. I am damn near set to call Famliy Services my darn self!

[WalkingMan]

I wonder what effect calling CPS would have on this sitch? I know that I would definately document everything and collect evidence, without gaining the attention of your X. It may take a while, but these are your kids and they need to be in a healthy, stable invironment. I'd be alsmost tempted to hire a PI.

[karen43]

Dday, I know you were waiting for your XW to realize that she's in over her head, and the situation too get resolved naturally. But it sounds like it's too dangerous. You have to do something! She doesn't sound fit at this point to take care of them. Can you consult with an L about this? I think that stuff is so tricky, but if it's in your children's best interest to have her reported, and your L says it's a good idea, I would do that in a heartbeat. My only concern would be putting your kids through more stress; but I think they're in an unsafe situation now, so I know it's rock and a hard place.

[dday101798]

L is long gone, and now threatening to garnish my wages, can't do much that route when you're broke. PI? Definatley out of the question.

Pretty much can't support them broke either, so I don't know what to do. Right now, I'm covering my butt in any possible. And beleive me I was very tempted to send a message or something to the extent that this will not go unmentioned, but I kept that notion in check.

Kind of a rock and hard place right now.

[dday101798]

And the storm clouds gather again

Got a call from X;s number last night while was pushing the wahing machine back in place after it did the unbalanced load waltz across the floor, so obviously I couldn't grab the phone at that very second.

Figured it was one of the boys and they'd leave a message or in the case of S12, he'd call right back anyway. No message, no call back. So I bite the bullet and call back. So "her friend" (the catalyst to procreate the A) I thought answered the phone, I was dumfounded at first thinking why are you answering X's phone? Says 'hello' again, 'what's going on?' making small talk, and I said I'm returning a call.

Much to my dismay, IT WAS XW, who handed the phone to S12 as he was heding out the door to play with friendds. Wow, that's pretty pathetic, our line of sommunication is so taunt now that I don't even recognize her voice!

S12 seemed put up to the task of just finding out where I was at and what I was doing. I can tell in his tones when he's had to reherse things. Even more so, even if he had called me voluntarily, X has not answered on his behalf in months. I figured the night would have involved a call or text battle, but much to my surprise, none of the above.

I just felt so ackward not even recognizing her voice. But, hey, that's what hse asked for afterall.

[mishka422]

I did the same thing not long ago. XH called my office and he actually had to refer to something regarding our son before I realized it was him! DETACHMENT!

[WalkingMan]

I'm sure i'd be the same way. These days it's text or email only.

[dday101798]

I did the same thing not long ago. XH called my office and he actually had to refer to something regarding our son before I realized it was him! DETACHMENT!

You know, we should paraphrase all the DB analogies and induendos into one big Motown hit or something.

[dday101798]

I'm sure i'd be the same way. These days it's text or email only.

Not even barely that my friend.

And you know what, it's better that way. Makes co-parenting even more a challenge, but that's why I went straight to the teachers. I can't rely on, nor trust for the matter anything XW even has to say about school functions, much less to have the common decency to tell me when she's keeping them home from school. We had an issue with that last year, and I ripped her a new one when the school called and sounded like donkey not knowing they weren't in school and the school couldn't get a hold of X.

I was tempted to text X last night after processing the phone incodent, that it's pretty pathetic that we can't get along as agreed for the kids sake. But then it hit me, she doesn't care anyway, and I 'd potentially be refueling her insanity tank, thus I said to myself to not bother. It's not my place to reach out to her. And if she ends up being the one to reach out, well, I'm not obligated to respond either.

[WalkingMan]

right on! It seems to me you'll get better results doing what you doing. You can't trust the XW, so going straight to the school seems to be the best bet. ONe day, your kids will appreciate your efforts.