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A Message from Michele
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Board Policies #1779055
06/05/09 09:19 PM
06/05/09 09:19 PM
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 801
Divorce Busting Center USA
Virginia Offline OP
Member
Virginia  Offline OP
Member
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 801
Divorce Busting Center USA
Dear DB'ers,

We have recently updated our board rules by more clearly defining our policies concerning a few things. We'd like to remind everyone that use of these messageboards requires acceptance of the following terms and conditions:

- Participants shall not post any material that is likely to cause offense, is protected by copyright, trademark or other proprietary right - or that contains personal contact information, phone numbers, email addresses, or any other addresses.
- Participants shall treat each other with respect, refraining from rudeness and foul language.
- Participants may not use the forums to post or transmit advertisements or commercial solicitations of any kind.
- The forum Administrators and Moderators have the right to edit, move, censor, delete or otherwise modify any posted message.
- This web site does not verify or guarantee the accuracy of the material posted to the forums or bear any responsibility for any loss, damage, or other liabilities caused by any posted message.

This is a public forum. Exchanging private contact information with other users is not allowed. Our purpose in making this messageboard available to you is to offer you a place to publicly give and receive DivorceBusting help, and to support one another in saving your marriages and keeping your families together. It was never our intention to provide a means of privately connecting with others via the internet. There are many other sites where that is encouraged. This is not one of them. We are here to help and support you via this public forum.

We welcome you and appreciate your cooperation in honoring these policies.


Virginia Peeples
Assistant to Michele Weiner-Davis
The Divorce Busting Center

Transform your marriage with a private session with Michele Weiner-Davis.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004.
Re: Board Policies [Re: Virginia] #2002910
05/14/10 01:20 PM
05/14/10 01:20 PM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 16
il
Q
quiet Offline
New Member
quiet  Offline
New Member
Q
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 16
il
I am new to writing on this website and not sure how to get started help?
quiet


quiet
Re: Board Policies [Re: quiet] #2003031
05/14/10 03:57 PM
05/14/10 03:57 PM
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,326
London, UK
J
JCJ Offline
Member
JCJ  Offline
Member
J
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,326
London, UK
Hi quiet,

Go into the newcomers section, where you found this thread, and click 'new topic' on the top left and then right your story. You will find lots of help and support here.


M- May 2006
D - Aug 2010
Now travelling the world
Re: Board Policies [Re: JCJ] #2040990
07/19/10 07:14 PM
07/19/10 07:14 PM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 4,230
Colorado
R
Ready2Change Offline
Member
Ready2Change  Offline
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 4,230
Colorado
Good guidelines for posting:
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
The best kinds of threads are:

1) Poster-specific. Your "home" thread. STICK TO IT, post to it regularly (even if you're not getting a lot of responses), as it's a good journal for yourself and it's therapeutic.

2) Topic-specific. You can OCCASIONALLY supplement your main thread with one that's topic-specific, such as "She's Back on The Pill -- Cause for Alarm??" or some such. The more provocative the title, the more response you'll probably get.

Keep your posts short to medium, use lots of paragraph breaks, and JUST KEEP POSTING. And post to others.

Hope that helps,

Puppy


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Re: Board Policies [Re: Ready2Change] #2057354
08/16/10 05:56 PM
08/16/10 05:56 PM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 4,230
Colorado
R
Ready2Change Offline
Member
Ready2Change  Offline
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 4,230
Colorado
Originally Posted By: Allen A
You really should get a VERY DETAILED signature so people can better help you. This forum is high traffic and we need to get summaries so we can help you quickly...


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Re: Board Policies [Re: Ready2Change] #2066297
08/30/10 02:59 PM
08/30/10 02:59 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 162
Land of Dixie
D
Dagny-2 Offline
Member
Dagny-2  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 162
Land of Dixie
Is there a how to page around here for posting?

For example, in this quick reply, if I type too much, I can no longer see what I'm writing, is there a way around that?

Also, people make these nice short quote boxes, how is that done? When I try to quote, the whole thing gets copied and I then have to delete what I don't want. But others have them throughout their posts with nice replies after each quote.

Thanks for the help!


Me 48, H49, M24, S14, S11
DB #1 4/2002-8/2003
Bomb #2 August 2010 & he moved out
Living with OW
Re: Board Policies [Re: Dagny-2] #2066300
08/30/10 03:06 PM
08/30/10 03:06 PM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,424
AZ
V
Virtually_Handsome Offline
Member
Virtually_Handsome  Offline
Member
V
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,424
AZ
When your post is bigger than the box you should be able to scroll though it, or use the scroll bar on the right of the post. I don't know that there is any way to make the actual box larger.

As far as quoting, it's a matter of typing [ quote] and [ /quote] (without the extra space after the first bracket, on either side of the quote you want. You can either copy in sections, or quote the whole thing, and add the tags to quote the different sections. the key is for every start quote, there is an end quote (the one with the /. Practice a bit, and you'll figure it out!


Jeff
The poster formerly known as dry_heat

Me-49
D 11/30/09
S12,16,21,22
Current:Wandering Poster 56-Take a step that is new...
Where the Rockettes Play!
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: blindsided76] #2113964
12/15/10 04:31 AM
12/15/10 04:31 AM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
^


dbmod
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2120795
01/16/11 07:52 PM
01/16/11 07:52 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,496
2
2stepboogie Offline
Member
2stepboogie  Offline
Member
2
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,496
This question is to the moderators.......

Sometimes I post needing some advice and comfort but my post or respond to someone does not show up for several days. I started a thread about 5 days ago and still don't see it. I don't get it.


BITS

(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: 2stepboogie] #2120801
01/16/11 08:07 PM
01/16/11 08:07 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
Hi Adae,
There are no posts in cue at this time. I did 'bump' the threads you started and the thread you posted on, that should help you see them.


dbmod
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2122267
01/21/11 03:53 PM
01/21/11 03:53 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 402
S
sparks14 Offline
Member
sparks14  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 402
I posted a new thread in the infidelity section yesterday, but it told me that it had to be approved by the moderators. How long does this process usually take. I am in a dire situation, so the communication needs to come quickly.

Thanks!


Me - 33 W - 33
S - 9 months
M - 3 years
T - 5.5 years
Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY
PA discovered - 1/18/11
PA began - 3/22/10
Separated
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: sparks14] #2122342
01/21/11 07:13 PM
01/21/11 07:13 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
You have no posts in cue. You may need to try again.


dbmod
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2122357
01/21/11 07:44 PM
01/21/11 07:44 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 402
S
sparks14 Offline
Member
sparks14  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 402
thanks dbmod. i will try again.


Me - 33 W - 33
S - 9 months
M - 3 years
T - 5.5 years
Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY
PA discovered - 1/18/11
PA began - 3/22/10
Separated
(NA) (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: sparks14] #2122409
01/21/11 09:52 PM
01/21/11 09:52 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
REMINDER TO EVERYONE--

We are here to help, but the board is not for emergencies. If you need expert help, please call the divorcebusting center:

303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435, or your local crisis center, as appropriate.


dbmod
Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2123056
01/24/11 10:57 PM
01/24/11 10:57 PM
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,031
Colorado
D
Denver_2010 Offline
Member
Denver_2010  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,031
Colorado
Originally Posted By: dbmod
Hi Adae,
There are no posts in cue at this time. I did 'bump' the threads you started and the thread you posted on, that should help you see them.


Dbmod - I submitted a bunch of posts last night that haven't shown up. Are they lost in cyberspace? Also, I haven't heard back from Virginia. Think that she didn't get my email?

Thanks!

Denver_2010


M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce
Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: Denver_2010] #2125410
01/31/11 04:37 PM
01/31/11 04:37 PM
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,031
Colorado
D
Denver_2010 Offline
Member
Denver_2010  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,031
Colorado
Good morning Virginia. I am emailing you to see if I can get my account restored so that my posts are allowed to show up immediately after I submit them.

I know that I screwed up by violating one of the board policies 2 weeks ago, but it won't happen again.

I appreciate you help with this.

Thanks - Denver_2010


M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce
Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: Denver_2010] #2125633
02/01/11 03:33 AM
02/01/11 03:33 AM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 195
Denver
M
mj144 Offline
Member
mj144  Offline
Member
M
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 195
Denver
Can something please be done about holding onto Denver's posts. When they finally get released, this round almost 24 hours after the fact, they are causing all of our threads to be bumped way back.


M42
W38
D5D7
M8
Living as 'roomates' since 9-12-10
Moved out 1-7-11
FIL threatened to kill me 1-20-11
Re: Board Policies [Re: Virginia] #2127980
02/08/11 03:04 PM
02/08/11 03:04 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 97
Texas
M
MsRae Offline
Member
MsRae  Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 97
Texas
Are we allowed to discuss alt world and friending on FB?


H:44
M:42
D:16, 15, 14
S:12
M:17 years

To thine own self, be true.

Be still and know that I am God.
Re: Board Policies [Re: MsRae] #2128016
02/08/11 05:14 PM
02/08/11 05:14 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
J
Jack_Three_Beans Offline
Moderator
Jack_Three_Beans  Offline
Moderator
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
If you want to post here I wouldn't MsRae.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

Re: Board Policies [Re: Jack_Three_Beans] #2128019
02/08/11 05:21 PM
02/08/11 05:21 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 97
Texas
M
MsRae Offline
Member
MsRae  Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 97
Texas
That's why I asked! Thank you.


H:44
M:42
D:16, 15, 14
S:12
M:17 years

To thine own self, be true.

Be still and know that I am God.
Re: Board Policies [Re: MsRae] #2131717
02/17/11 02:54 AM
02/17/11 02:54 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 402
S
sparks14 Offline
Member
sparks14  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 402
Hey mods. I notified a post of mine that I wished to be deleted last week, but it does not look like it was touched. How can we go about doing that? Thanks in advance!


Me - 33 W - 33
S - 9 months
M - 3 years
T - 5.5 years
Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY
PA discovered - 1/18/11
PA began - 3/22/10
Separated
Re: Board Policies [Re: sparks14] #2132091
02/17/11 08:31 PM
02/17/11 08:31 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
J
Jack_Three_Beans Offline
Moderator
Jack_Three_Beans  Offline
Moderator
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
I only got the power of Gray Skull in MLC Sparks. Here, I'm just poaching.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

Re: Board Policies [Re: sparks14] #2132092
02/17/11 08:32 PM
02/17/11 08:32 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
J
Jack_Three_Beans Offline
Moderator
Jack_Three_Beans  Offline
Moderator
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
Try notify again and include a reason as to why. Maybe?



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

Re: Board Policies [Re: Jack_Three_Beans] #2132291
02/18/11 04:34 AM
02/18/11 04:34 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 402
S
sparks14 Offline
Member
sparks14  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 402
Thanks Jack. I included a reason in the original. Once you notify, it will not allow you to notify again.

Mods??


Me - 33 W - 33
S - 9 months
M - 3 years
T - 5.5 years
Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY
PA discovered - 1/18/11
PA began - 3/22/10
Separated
Re: Board Policies [Re: sparks14] #2133054
02/19/11 09:51 PM
02/19/11 09:51 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
I have been out for a bit. I think I've got it. Please check.


dbmod
Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2133226
02/20/11 05:35 AM
02/20/11 05:35 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 402
S
sparks14 Offline
Member
sparks14  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 402
Thanks, man. You got it.


Me - 33 W - 33
S - 9 months
M - 3 years
T - 5.5 years
Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY
PA discovered - 1/18/11
PA began - 3/22/10
Separated
Re: Board Policies [Re: sparks14] #2133355
02/20/11 05:58 PM
02/20/11 05:58 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
excellent


dbmod
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2141774
03/22/11 05:05 PM
03/22/11 05:05 PM
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,574
E
ESN Offline
Member
ESN  Offline
Member
E
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,574
How long does it take to see a post? I posted two days ago - one was long, and I haven't seen it on the boards yet.

(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2141841
03/22/11 08:27 PM
03/22/11 08:27 PM
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,574
E
ESN Offline
Member
ESN  Offline
Member
E
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,574
just wondering what happened to my posts.

(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: ESN] #2141902
03/23/11 01:34 AM
03/23/11 01:34 AM
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,574
E
ESN Offline
Member
ESN  Offline
Member
E
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,574
Thanks, I got one post in newcomers and a response on someone else's post but I don't see the long one that I posted in SSM.

(NA) (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: ESN] #2141909
03/23/11 01:45 AM
03/23/11 01:45 AM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
There is a different moderator on that forum, and it may be delayed.


dbmod
(NA) (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2141914
03/23/11 01:55 AM
03/23/11 01:55 AM
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,574
E
ESN Offline
Member
ESN  Offline
Member
E
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,574
Ah, okay. Thanks!!

(NA) (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: ESN] #2142339
03/24/11 03:40 PM
03/24/11 03:40 PM
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,574
E
ESN Offline
Member
ESN  Offline
Member
E
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,574
Can I PM the mod? It's still not there-

(NA) (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: ESN] #2143429
03/29/11 05:38 AM
03/29/11 05:38 AM
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 262
NV
O
OnMyWay Offline
Member
OnMyWay  Offline
Member
O
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 262
NV
How long before the moderation limitations end? Is it after a certain number of posts? Or perhaps some sort of "trust" algorithm built-in which determines when moderation is no longer required?

Just wondering. Get's a little difficult to keep posting when they don't show up for a while.


"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
- Maria Robinson

M: 45 WAW: 36
T: 17 M: 14 Kids: D9
ILYBNILWY: 6/2010
W left: 2/2011
W back: 2/2012
(NA) (NA) (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: OnMyWay] #2143644
03/30/11 12:45 AM
03/30/11 12:45 AM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
OMW-
It isn't automatic. It's individual. We try to approve posts within 24 hours. I apologize for the inconvenience.


dbmod
(NA) (NA) (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2144483
04/01/11 07:53 PM
04/01/11 07:53 PM
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 262
NV
O
OnMyWay Offline
Member
OnMyWay  Offline
Member
O
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 262
NV
I find mine take about 48 hours. Perhaps I just write too much and they take a lot longer to read. Thanks for the reply.


"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
- Maria Robinson

M: 45 WAW: 36
T: 17 M: 14 Kids: D9
ILYBNILWY: 6/2010
W left: 2/2011
W back: 2/2012
(NA) (NA) (NA) (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: OnMyWay] #2144793
04/04/11 12:37 AM
04/04/11 12:37 AM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
It has nothing to do with the length of your posts, OMW--it has more to do with moderator time and number of posts in cue. I apologize for the delay. Newcomers always has a large number of posts in cue.

Last edited by dbmod; 04/04/11 12:38 AM.

dbmod
Re: (NA) (NA) (NA) (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2152137
05/06/11 07:01 AM
05/06/11 07:01 AM
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 12
Way out there
B
barnaby Offline
New Member
barnaby  Offline
New Member
B
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 12
Way out there
Hi there

I have a post from 2/3 days ago and another from yesterday, neither of which have shown up and my thread is now on page 7 in Newcomers.

Would someone have a check on it for me please?


Me:33
Him:30
My kids: 7, 4
Our kids:2, 7 months
Met:06/2007
Moved in:09/2008
"That" girl:20/03/11
Currently working things out
Re: Board Policies [Re: Virginia] #2152416
05/07/11 02:58 PM
05/07/11 02:58 PM
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 3
M
mairead Offline
New Member
mairead  Offline
New Member
M
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 3
hi i am new to divorce busting. how do you post?

Re: Board Policies [Re: mairead] #2158214
06/02/11 08:14 PM
06/02/11 08:14 PM
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 8
S
Sawi Offline
New Member
Sawi  Offline
New Member
S
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 8
Hi I am new here and I tried to post a new thread on Tuesday May 31st but it hasn't appeared yet.How long before a new post will appear here?

Re: Board Policies [Re: Sawi] #2160578
06/13/11 08:53 PM
06/13/11 08:53 PM
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 12
Devon, UK
D
donnaf Offline
New Member
donnaf  Offline
New Member
D
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 12
Devon, UK
Hi, i seem to be missing 2 posts. My side bar says i've made 11 posts but i only have 9 showing. Is there any problems with them?
Thanks


Me - 40
DS - 7
DD - Nearly 4
M - 8 years
T - 10 years
S - Feb 11
Re: Board Policies [Re: donnaf] #2161512
06/18/11 12:48 AM
06/18/11 12:48 AM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
I see 12,including this one, and none are pending approval. Nine of them are part of one thread. The other three are part of different threads. I will bump them to make them easier for you.

In the future--click on your name. Then on 'show users posts'. You will see everything that has been approved.


dbmod
Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2166387
07/07/11 05:54 PM
07/07/11 05:54 PM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 43
D
dazed_&_confused Offline
Member
dazed_&_confused  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 43
dbmod, sorry to be a pain but is there anyway to speed up approval of my posts?

Re: Board Policies [Re: dazed_&_confused] #2166912
07/10/11 02:18 AM
07/10/11 02:18 AM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,496
2
2stepboogie Offline
Member
2stepboogie  Offline
Member
2
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,496
dmod,

Can someone please tell me why I have been moderated all of sudden?

I don't believe I have broken any board policies but if I have please explain which one so that I do not do it again.

thanks
2step


BITS

Re: Board Policies [Re: 2stepboogie] #2166921
07/10/11 03:21 AM
07/10/11 03:21 AM
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 467
L
lifejustgothard2 Offline
Member
lifejustgothard2  Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 467
How long do are posts stay up? I have a lot of good advice given to me from people here and like to go back and read them. Is there a way to save them?

Re: Board Policies [Re: Virginia] #2167011
07/10/11 07:58 PM
07/10/11 07:58 PM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 20
B
Blown away Offline
New Member
Blown away  Offline
New Member
B
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 20
How long does it take to post a topic I started. I could really use the help asap.

Thanks


Me: 39 W : 34
M: 8 1 / 2 yrs
D: 7
ILYBINILWY: 3 / 4 / 2011
Re: Board Policies [Re: Blown away] #2169364
07/19/11 05:59 PM
07/19/11 05:59 PM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 285
M
MadeToSucceed Offline
Member
MadeToSucceed  Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 285
What does it take for me to be able to be unmoderated? I have a topic but it seems like the delay in my posts always pushes me to the 2nd page and beyond when it finally shows up in Newcomers. I've only had dbmod respond to my post and can't get the assistance and/or support I'm looking for. I've done two calls so far with Leni and each time she asks me what the community has said...but the community isn't saying anything because I'm fully moderated and they hardly see my posts...what do I need to do?


mid 20s
Tgther 7 yrs
W EA 04/12/11 PA 04/23/11
W filed 05/11/11
I moved out 08/05/11
Mediation mid Oct 11
D final Dec 11
Now what? ...2012
Re: Board Policies [Re: Virginia] #2170926
07/24/11 09:34 PM
07/24/11 09:34 PM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2
S
SadSadGrl Offline
New Member
SadSadGrl  Offline
New Member
S
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2
I'm new to this community. I made a post, but I'm not seeing it. Could you check your Q to see if it's still there, please?

(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: SadSadGrl] #2170959
07/24/11 11:31 PM
07/24/11 11:31 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
Hi Sad-

All newbies are fully moderated at first. Our goal to release posts is 24 hours. I apologize for the inconvenience.


dbmod
Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2171026
07/25/11 03:50 AM
07/25/11 03:50 AM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 285
M
MadeToSucceed Offline
Member
MadeToSucceed  Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 285
dbmod,

I notified you of an adjustment I desperately need made to a post that I put up in my thread (Can I save my marriage? (long; please be patient) http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2166696#Post2166696). It's very important to me that this adjustment be made. Did you receive the notification and are you able to help me out with that?


mid 20s
Tgther 7 yrs
W EA 04/12/11 PA 04/23/11
W filed 05/11/11
I moved out 08/05/11
Mediation mid Oct 11
D final Dec 11
Now what? ...2012
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2177200
08/12/11 04:52 PM
08/12/11 04:52 PM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,900
Piney Land
R
Rick1963 Offline
Member
Rick1963  Offline
Member
R
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,900
Piney Land
I posted my story yesterday. How long does it take to be approved or denied?


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: Rick1963] #2177461
08/13/11 03:40 AM
08/13/11 03:40 AM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 4
L
Lis007 Offline
New Member
Lis007  Offline
New Member
L
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 4
Originally Posted By: Rick1963
I posted my story yesterday. How long does it take to be approved or denied?
Its a shame that there isnt a guide thats sent out to you so you know what to expect huh? It takes courage to join and share and then you are left with no response.





(NA) Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: Lis007] #2177531
08/13/11 01:36 PM
08/13/11 01:36 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
I apologize. We strive for 24 hour approval and we're close right now.

With a good posting history you will be off full moderation in short order.


dbmod
Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2181859
08/28/11 10:03 PM
08/28/11 10:03 PM
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2
A
aj ktr Offline
New Member
aj ktr  Offline
New Member
A
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2
help i need some my life seems over i need advice to stop my divorce im devestatd my wife is in love with someone else ive been married 11 yrs been with her for 17. I have three beautiful daughters who dont deserve this.

aj ktr help me please

(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2184572
09/08/11 09:56 AM
09/08/11 09:56 AM
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 6
England
K
Kiki11 Offline
New Member
Kiki11  Offline
New Member
K
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 6
England
Hi I posted a new topic yesterday, it said it's awaiting moderation, but I still can't see it. How long does this process take?
Thank you.

(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: Kiki11] #2188249
09/22/11 07:20 PM
09/22/11 07:20 PM
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 30
L
love_is_a_trip Offline
Member
love_is_a_trip  Offline
Member
L
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 30
I'm sure there are good reasons for moderating. When I was a member here many years gone by, under a different id that I can't even recall. Moderation was not part of the process. Sort of sad. I recall the incredible feelings of despair when I was in the throws of divorce. 24hrs felt like a lifetime and the littlest things, like a response from someone, brought some essence of calm.

Might I suggest that moderators bump postings to the top so at least they don't fall off page 1. Or possibly a methodology for users to verify who they are to moderators. Allowing them to be removed from the moderation list sooner... Just some thoughts. I can see some people are frustrated and I understand their pain.

(NA) (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: love_is_a_trip] #2188326
09/23/11 12:14 AM
09/23/11 12:14 AM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
Excellent ideas. We actually have discussed some of your same ideas, and when I remember, I do try to bump posts.

Thanks for your ideas!


dbmod
(NA) (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2188728
09/24/11 05:55 PM
09/24/11 05:55 PM
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 30
L
love_is_a_trip Offline
Member
love_is_a_trip  Offline
Member
L
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 30
So how about this. New users who agree to provide a cell number get a txt back with a code. They can enter the code into the site and be removed from the moderator list. That way if they get their id revoked you have a cell number on file to cross reference, should they attempt getting a new id.

(NA) (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: love_is_a_trip] #2193894
10/20/11 03:08 PM
10/20/11 03:08 PM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 157
Illinois
L
luvhurts49 Offline
Member
luvhurts49  Offline
Member
L
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 157
Illinois
Why can't I edit my signature? No matter what I put into the field, it says I need to shorten it.


Me36, W38
S12, S3
T20, M4
Bomb dropped 8/18/11
Moved out 8/18/11
Filed for D 10/20/11
OM Confirmed 11/5/11
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2196699
11/04/11 01:46 AM
11/04/11 01:46 AM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 60
T
TMC25 Offline
Member
TMC25  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 60
dbmod- why r my posts not showing up?

Re: Board Policies [Re: Virginia] #2198466
11/12/11 10:20 PM
11/12/11 10:20 PM
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 172
East Coast
P
PERSEVERANCE Offline
Member
PERSEVERANCE  Offline
Member
P
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 172
East Coast
Hi, how long does it normally take for your post to show?- I just started... I didn't see my post & re-posted my story. I don't want to annoy anyone or have a duplicate. Thanks


(F.K.A. Broken422)

US 40's
M 17,T 19
2 BOYS 13,16
Divorced 4/2012
11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D

"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Re: Board Policies [Re: PERSEVERANCE] #2198468
11/12/11 10:38 PM
11/12/11 10:38 PM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 111
Pendown UK
A
Ajay Offline
Member
Ajay  Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 111
Pendown UK
Well to start with it seems to take forever. I waited three days for some of mine to show. I filled in the waiting time by adding to the thread as I thought of new stuff.


Timezone GMT
Re: Board Policies [Re: PERSEVERANCE] #2198524
11/13/11 02:13 PM
11/13/11 02:13 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 12,486
NY
Cadet Offline

Member
Cadet  Offline

Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 12,486
NY
Originally Posted By: Broken422
Hi, how long does it normally take for your post to show?- I just started... I didn't see my post & re-posted my story. I don't want to annoy anyone or have a duplicate. Thanks

Have some patience, something you need to learn in DB'ing

After so many posts you will be off moderation.
Post smaller amounts until then.
Have faith that they will show up.

While you are waiting read other peoples stories, and some of the resources here, you are not the first one or the last to go through this.

It will get better but everything takes TIME.


Me-64, D32,S31
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: 2stepboogie] #2210052
01/03/12 08:17 PM
01/03/12 08:17 PM
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 301
O
Oneeleven Offline
Member
Oneeleven  Offline
Member
O
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 301
Originally Posted By: 2stepboogie
This question is to the moderators.......

Sometimes I post needing some advice and comfort but my post or respond to someone does not show up for several days. I started a thread about 5 days ago and still don't see it. I don't get it.


I am in the same situation. I read that newbies' posts get moderated and it takes more time for them to be seen.
At what stage do you get to see your posts more quickly?
Thank you
111

(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: Oneeleven] #2215934
01/26/12 03:14 AM
01/26/12 03:14 AM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
^


dbmod
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2223867
02/21/12 03:11 PM
02/21/12 03:11 PM
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 803
B
BFloat Offline
Member
BFloat  Offline
Member
B
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 803
What does the thumbs down sign next to my post mean? Am I in trouble?


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: BFloat] #2239137
04/19/12 01:55 PM
04/19/12 01:55 PM
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 951
S
sayitaintso Offline
Member
sayitaintso  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 951
lol @ BF^^^^


Me- 34 W-33
S15 S10 S6
Married- 11 Together- 18
Bomb- 6-2011
WAW moves out- 8-2011

"Nothing in the Universe can stop you from letting go and starting over at anytime"- Guy Finley
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2242963
05/04/12 09:07 PM
05/04/12 09:07 PM
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 170
T
tonibertha Offline
Member
tonibertha  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 170
[testquote]


Me 33, H 34
T 15 (on and off, 7 years this stretch)
M 4
DD 3
OW July 2010, IDLY - Oct 2010

1st sep 28/5/11-14/8/11 (my idea)
OW confirmed 25/11/11 (H travelled with OW 26/11/11)
I moved out 3/12/11
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: tonibertha] #2242964
05/04/12 09:08 PM
05/04/12 09:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 170
T
tonibertha Offline
Member
tonibertha  Offline
Member
T
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 170
how do you quote. doesn't work for me


Me 33, H 34
T 15 (on and off, 7 years this stretch)
M 4
DD 3
OW July 2010, IDLY - Oct 2010

1st sep 28/5/11-14/8/11 (my idea)
OW confirmed 25/11/11 (H travelled with OW 26/11/11)
I moved out 3/12/11
Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: tonibertha] #2243009
05/05/12 01:07 AM
05/05/12 01:07 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 12,486
NY
Cadet Offline

Member
Cadet  Offline

Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 12,486
NY
Originally Posted By: tonibertha
how do you quote. doesn't work for me

Answered on your thread

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2242954#Post2242954


Me-64, D32,S31
Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: Cadet] #2250366
06/01/12 10:46 AM
06/01/12 10:46 AM
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,219
S
scaredsilly Offline
Member
scaredsilly  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,219
i tried to use the private message button but it's disabled. is there a way to ask a member a question other than posting it?


M:63
H:53
S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23
M:15
T:16

Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways."
H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12
12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing

Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: scaredsilly] #2250412
06/01/12 03:00 PM
06/01/12 03:00 PM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
Florida
S
Starsky309 Offline
Member
Starsky309  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
Florida
No, unfortunately. PMs have been disabled and not allowed here, as a matter of forum policy.


Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: Starsky309] #2252141
06/07/12 07:29 PM
06/07/12 07:29 PM
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 2
Ft.Meade, MD
C
CJ83 Offline
New Member
CJ83  Offline
New Member
C
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 2
Ft.Meade, MD
Just by chance did my post hit moderation? Just making sure it went in at least

Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: Starsky309] #2252279
06/08/12 12:35 PM
06/08/12 12:35 PM
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 81
USA
D
dscl Offline
Member
dscl  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 81
USA
Hi-

I posted in newcomers about two days ago and only one of them has shown, any ideas when the other will be up. Concern because my post is now past page three and I would really like to see responses from other members.

Thanks.


M-41
W-41
D-7
M- 10yrs
I still love you, but 4-25-12
Think she might have EA/PA 5-17-12
Confirmed PA 6-9-12
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: Ready2Change] #2252608
06/09/12 01:35 PM
06/09/12 01:35 PM
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 7
N
NotGivingUp! Offline
New Member
NotGivingUp!  Offline
New Member
N
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 7
The forum will not allow me to enter a single character for my signature...much less a detailed signature. Thoughts?
Thx,
NotGivingUp!


Me-38
W-39
M-9yrs, 2mos/T-15yrs
Blowup- 4/16/12
Bomb- 5/11/12
No kids, 1 pet
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: NotGivingUp!] #2252967
06/11/12 04:14 AM
06/11/12 04:14 AM
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 7
N
NotGivingUp! Offline
New Member
NotGivingUp!  Offline
New Member
N
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 7
Finally have a signature on the forum.


Me-38
W-39
M-9yrs, 2mos/T-15yrs
Blowup- 4/16/12
Bomb- 5/11/12
No kids, 1 pet
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: ESN] #2269508
08/09/12 03:23 PM
08/09/12 03:23 PM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 481
M
Mrs D Offline
Member
Mrs D  Offline
Member
M
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 481
Hey Mods - i posted one yesterday - how long does it usually take to be approved, and is it even there?? thank you!!


M:43/ H:39
T:12/ M:9
S8, D15
M affair(one night): 2/09
M EA: 2/12-7/12
D:6/7/12
H: GF since 7/24/12

God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: Mrs D] #2270082
08/10/12 10:27 PM
08/10/12 10:27 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
Hi Forever -- we strive for 48 hours, summertime can take longer. I apologize for the delay and we appreciate your patience.


dbmod
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2322987
02/17/13 03:04 AM
02/17/13 03:04 AM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
^


dbmod
Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: NotGivingUp!] #2346391
05/07/13 07:12 PM
05/07/13 07:12 PM
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,970
NY
R
RosaLinda Offline
Member
RosaLinda  Offline
Member
R
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,970
NY
Originally Posted By: NotGivingUp!
Finally have a signature on the forum.


How did you do it? When I add even one character, I get a message that my signature is too long! Does it have something to do with being on moderation?

Thanks
Linda M


Linda

Me 65, Ex 64
M 38 y
2 adult S, 4 G-Kids
MLC 11/07
BD 12/09
D 3/14
Dating nice guy 7/14
Engaged to nice guy 12/17
(NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2346806
05/08/13 11:25 PM
05/08/13 11:25 PM
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 698
M
Mimi00 Offline
Member
Mimi00  Offline
Member
M
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 698
I've posted 6 times in the last 3 days (reflected in my profile), started my own thread, the rest were replies---I can't see anything I've posted. When I go to "My Stuff" >>> "Posts", nothing. frown

Is there a set number of posts I need to make in order to get out of moderation, waiting for a mod to have time to be online to clear stuff is hard. No other forums I am a part of moderate in this specific way, so I am clueless.


me: 30 H:30
tgthr:7 m:4
no kids
5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012
long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012
official BD: July 2013
nothing filed
1/1/14 I dropped the rope
Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: RosaLinda] #2348498
05/13/13 08:04 PM
05/13/13 08:04 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 12,486
NY
Cadet Offline

Member
Cadet  Offline

Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 12,486
NY
Originally Posted By: LindaM
Originally Posted By: NotGivingUp!
Finally have a signature on the forum.


How did you do it? When I add even one character, I get a message that my signature is too long! Does it have something to do with being on moderation?

Thanks
Linda M

I believe that you need a minumum number of posts to have a signature.

It might be 10, but I am not totally sure of the number.


Me-64, D32,S31
Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: Cadet] #2369294
07/21/13 03:18 AM
07/21/13 03:18 AM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
D
dbmod Offline
Member
dbmod  Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,157
Your signature ability happens concurrently with your approval as a member/poster. There is no set number of posts. It occurs with a good posting history.


dbmod
Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: dbmod] #2377639
08/19/13 05:54 PM
08/19/13 05:54 PM
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 49
M
Muse Offline
Member
Muse  Offline
Member
M
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 49
I am a new poster, and I have to find a little humour in this. I think a partof what got my marriage not trouble is not having enough patience.....so having to wait for post approval is a small step in learning a bit of patience. ;-)

Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: Muse] #2418490
12/28/13 05:09 PM
12/28/13 05:09 PM
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 1,593
Rocky Mountains
M
melissag Offline
Member
melissag  Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 1,593
Rocky Mountains
Dear Mods,

I apologize for whatever I did that caused me to be placed on moderation. I did read the rules and thought that my posts were within them; apparently I was incorrect. I will be sure to post nothing even remotely questionable in the future. Please, please would you be so kind as to take me off moderation? This board has been my lifeline through the most difficult time in my life, and if I may say so, I think that my support has been valuable to others as well. As I am sure you are aware, it is difficult to give and receive advice and support when on moderation.

Thank you for your consideration.

melissag


me: 44 XH: 42
M 11 years
D10 and S8
Bomb drop 9/27/13
D final 7/1/14
Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: melissag] #2431497
02/17/14 01:02 PM
02/17/14 01:02 PM
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 343
GA
B
Bunches Offline
Member
Bunches  Offline
Member
B
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 343
GA
How would one know if they were on moderation? I have posted several times recently and even days later I don't see my messages show up. I'm guessing I haven't been approved yet. I take it we just wait and keep sending out posts and eventually...?


M: 36 W: 31
Married 9 yrs.
T: 11 yrs.
Son 8 yrs. (w/ Autism)
Bomb Drop 10/22/13
Divorce final 6/15
Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: Bunches] #2431549
02/17/14 06:07 PM
02/17/14 06:07 PM
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 140
M
MamaB Offline
Member
MamaB  Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 140
Yes Bunches, you will see your posts in real time soon. Just keep posting!


M45 H46
M16 yrs
D17, D10, D7
DB 1-23-2014
H filed D 2-14-2014
Re: (NA) Re: Board Policies [Re: MamaB] #2466701
07/07/14 11:15 PM
07/07/14 11:15 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,106
Merrie England
O
Old Dog Offline
Member
Old Dog  Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,106
Merrie England
I've got a list of 'resources for feeling better' my therapist gave me that may be of use to people, particularly newcomers. There are about 2 pages of them. A couple of examples are:

Keep a gratitude journal: brain research shows that daly writing down 5 things we are grateful for improves brain functioning and elevates mood.

Go for a walk / move your body even if just for a minute! Moving physically moves us emotionally - this is why it is called emotion.


Would this be allowed? And if so where should I post it?


M: 57 / EW: 52
T: 21, M: 8
S: 18, S: 15
Bomb: 1 Jun 14
EA Aug 2014 I think
PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
Re: Board Policies [Re: Virginia] #2468057
07/11/14 09:35 PM
07/11/14 09:35 PM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 41
California, US
H
HeadUp Offline
Member
HeadUp  Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 41
California, US
I haven't been able to post anything for 2 days now. Can this please be looked at?


ME 31 / W 35
M 3 / T 7
S 2 / S 14 D 5 / D 8

ME MOVED OUT 06/07/14
W THINKS D WOULD BE BEST FOR EVERYONE 7/2/14
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