WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 7

[antlers]

Whadda you mean you're lying to yourself?

[MrBond]

I think he's referring to the "fake it till you make it" idea.

CIPA,

Don't be discouraged. It's still very early in your sitch. Just take it a day at a time. Put it in your mind that you WANT to learn to love your W again. That's what I did after she left and I was pissed off and hated her guts.

Did you download the podcast I sent over earlier? It helped me going and when I started getting that angry feeling, I would play it and let it calm me down.

Hang in there buddy. At least you see your kids today!

[confusedinpa]

I think he's referring to the "fake it till you make it" idea.

CIPA,

Don't be discouraged. It's still very early in your sitch. Just take it a day at a time. Put it in your mind that you WANT to learn to love your W again. That's what I did after she left and I was pissed off and hated her guts.

Did you download the podcast I sent over earlier? It helped me going and when I started getting that angry feeling, I would play it and let it calm me down.

Hang in there buddy. At least you see your kids today!

You're right - I'm not sure about the "fake it till you make it idea".

I downloaded the podcast but couldn't get it to work

I'll try it again tonite.

Thanks for the support and encouragement

[confusedinpa]

She called to pick up the stuff from the garage. She asked if she could borrow my truck and help her load it with all the garage sale stuff. I didn't want to help nor lend her my truck and I'm sure she realized it, but I figure that would be the quickest way so she wouldn't have to keep coming back.

I had the truck pretty much loaded before she arrived. I was a little annoyed and was trying to be dark so I didn't say much. I had left the keys in the truck so once I loaded the last couple of totes in her SUV, I started to head back into the house. She asked if she could have the key and I said they were in the truck. I didn't say much at all.

Once she left, I realized I was probably too cold. When she got back with the truck, I got the sense she seemed a little urked.

I told her how our youngest found his bear that he had lost at school last week. She said she was glad to hear that and then said something about how cold I was when she had called and when she showed up. She was starting to think that if that was the way I was going to be, there was no way she would think about doing family stuff together. Not sure if that was a threat or she just felt uncomfortable about my coldness. I guess I need to fine tune my DIM/Dark.

Not sure if I should have, but I told her that it still hurts to see her and this entire situation. She just said sorry. I told her that I know it's something that she feels like she needs to do.

She started to tell me about her last 2 days. Pretty mundane stuff of getting her apartment setup and getting stuff ready for the garage sale. I just told her our youngest was a little sad about not bringing back some of his toys and stuff animals. She said that she would bring them back.

She then vented about how early the garage sale was starting and how much work was involved. I told her that the boys and I were going to setup our inflatable waterslide in the afternoon so she was welcome to stop by after the garage sale for a splash to cool off.

She kept chatting while we were standing in the garage. I then asked if she wanted to come in to grab a drink. She said that she was tired and wanted to grab a shower and just go to sleep.

Oh well, whatever. Guess I went too far away from DIM/Dark.....

[MrBond]

"Not sure if I should have, but I told her that it still hurts to see her and this entire situation. She just said sorry. I told her that I know it's something that she feels like she needs to do."

This would have been the perfect time to end the conversation. You told her how you felt and that's that.

It does get easier and the more you do it, you'll see when to cut things short.

Again, very early in your sitch.