Okay, I'm back with a new thread before I get locked out of the old one.
Sorry I didn't get on earlier, because I had a ton of running to do today and just not was able to sit at the computer.
Nothing really to report today. The wife is sick so she hasn't been too active in much today. I ran out and picked her up some coffee (neither her or I can function without the stuff ), some cough drops, and some tissues. I took the kids with so she could have some peace and quiet.
Then I went out and took care of a few odds and ends and when I got back I worked a little bit on my project for my class and then had to attend a "play" put on by my kids. Well, really it was more like twenty minutes of my daughter telling my son what to do, but they called it a play so I applauded when appropriate.
Anyway, that's all to report so far. I think this weekend may prove to be pretty low key, which is fine by me.
I have been so worried about you!! Glad you are ok. Maybe the stress is taking a toll on her. At this point, take care of her, help when she needs it and be the good guy you are. Stay the course, you're doing great!
Today (Sat) she came to me and said that she wanted to take the kids to the aquarium downtown and asked me if I wanted to go. I said of course and we went. Unfortunately, the kids were pretty bored by the whole thing and weren't exactly on their best behavior, so it wasn't as pleasant a day as it could have been, but I still see it as a positive, especially that she asked me about it.
Other than that, it's been quiet on the D front. I'll post again tonight if anything changes.
Today was a pretty quiet day. Nothing much to report. Still doing the 180s, still keeping positive, still trying to keep it all together. Just wanted to check in. It's been pretty quiet on the board as well. Hope everyone is doing okay.
Ahhh, not so hot. You can read about my weekend, and it continued into this morning. But I am just going to keep on I guess and not do anything much but worry about me and play some tennis tonight.
I responded to your thread in your thread. It sounds like you had a stressful weekend but not entirely negative. The important thing right now is recognize the positives and not let the negatives weigh you down. Remember your mood can reflect off of those around you. Sometimes "negative" things can work in your favor. For instance, you had a right to be angry about that woman sending you those emails. However, notice his reaction to when you backed off when he signaled you that he'd had enough. He apologized! The truth is (from a guy's perspective) when someone is assaulting us verbally or emotionally, there is a very small window where we continue to listen. After that point, "Flooding" occurs. This is where we become overwhelmed with emotion and it triggers a sort of "fight or flight" effect. We may lash back or we may just tune you out. We may even leave the situation. No matter what, we aren't hearing the rest of what you say. It's not just with women, guys do it with each other too. If you can remember any time when you've witnessed two guys having an argument, I bet the root of the issue was brought up immediately and the resolution followed soon after. Either they had it out verbally and walked away from each other or some sort of physical confrontation ensued. Either way it was over quickly.
But when he told you that he'd had enough, you agreed with him and gave him space. However, you still got out everything you had to say at that time and it must've sunk in, because he came back and apologized. Awesome!
I didn't want to post this on the other board, but I warned you his mother because I've made that mistake in the past. Not with her mother, but her friend. Eventually, everything I said got back to my W, but skewed through the lens of their friendship. In other words, plenty of things I said were made to look a lot worse than they were. And this friend didn't do it on purpose, she wants our marriage to succeed. However, when it comes down to the line, her interests lay with my wife. You obviously can't ignore her, your S is her grandchild, but I would be careful and take anything she says with a grain of salt. I'm not saying she doesn't care about you (I'm sure she does), but she is probably worried about her son and grandson, and that can often skew their take on the situation. I don't have the book accessible right now, but Michelle warns against that in DR as well. I'll post the page when I find it.
You sound like you are doing fine for now. Good work. Just stopping to say hi and check in. I have been keeping up with your posts but having problems of my own and don't feel like I have much to offer anyone right now. You are in my thoughts keeping your M safe.
You are absolutely right. My girlfriend that I'm living with said it best: "She isn't here. She has no idea how much he's around you and how he acts around you. She only knows what he tells her." So I was just respectful to her. I did let her in a couple of things, and he could hear me, to let her know I'm not sitting her like a crazy woman trying to be a crazy woman. There are outside factors screwing with me. But I said a million times, "You're right Nanny.....yes, you're right.....no, no, you're right.....we'll figure it out....yes I know and I love you both very much too.....and S is everyone's priority.....I'm not mad.....I want you to open up to us and say what's on your mind.....we're all family....etc." Completely agreeable. My MIL and FIL have both been very very good to me. I will not deny that and I will remember it always and treat them just like they've treated me.
And you sound so grounded and completely on board with all the DB rules. I'm so proud of you. What I need is for a miniture, invisible you to sit on one shoulder and a miniture invisible AJM to sit on my other shoulder and keep me on target.
), some cough drops, and some tissues. I took the kids with so she could have some peace and quiet. 
