Hey K.. thats a GREAT idea!!! I have always wanted to teach English... I used to be an adult IT trainer for 3 years and I loved it, really like teaching to adults who WANT to learn. Woulndt I have to know Greek though, to teach?? I was actually talking to my sister yesterday about the idea of living and working in Greece for a few months this summer.. my parents may come to live in my flat and could look after my cat whilst we try and get the place sold.. I could just go for 2 months?? June and July...
Wouldnt I need some kind of qualification to do it though? Hmm.. I am serious, this is a good idea !!!
I am pretty stressed I just lost my job... cant believe it! What next...
Been sitting here thinking this is ridiculous... he sent me two lovely emails yesterday (well, considering the sitch we are in) positive, friendly encouraging..but he never says much, nothing emotional/revealing.. but then thats not the way he actually is, according to BMF. But, I havent seen him for so long now.
So.. trying to work up the courage to phone him tommorow night. We havent spoken for 2 1/2 months now. Thats not very good is it? Find it hard to believe he has any feelings for me when I look at it like that.
I was thinking how strange it was when he set that password up for me (its my money, but in his name)... he said in his email "and on a rubbish practical note".. almost like he ws apologising. Its just not normal !! He's still never mentioned our joint account, or houses. Is this like all these men here that are M but never mention D? That its up to the LBS to file? I cant do anything about it though, we are financially stuck with one another for now. So will I be the one to have to sort this at some point, or do I hold onto these emails he is now sending me as some kind of sign? (along with BMF comments that he is breaking up with Helen because of missing me and what we had and that to hold on.. he's coming back.. hmm, really!?). I havent spoken to BMF for a couple of weeks, but then, dont suppose things have changed that much.
K's birthday just bought up stuff for me.. its my birthday also next Tuesday. I wonder if he will try calling me 4 times like Kalni's H did? I doubt he will even call once! My BFF thinks he will buy me a present, I will be stunned if he does. Hmm.. feeling a bit down today.. I really ought to stop listening to Snow Patrol, they're possibly more depressing than Radiohead, lol !
Sorry you're feeling down. I guess the thing to do is to try not to think about the content of his e-mails in detail. He's unlikely to revel his feelings to you particularly since he probably knows that it would have a big impact on you. I'm quite like that, especially if I have things I need to think about. It doesn't mean the feelings aren't there, I guess.
Also, don't attribute any meaning to the lack of speaking. A lot of WAS go off the radar for a period before they return- the 6 stages of MLC outlines a withdrawal period- might be worth re-reading that.
And finally, my H is just like your BF with respect to not splitting the money or discussing D etc. I've had to sort it all out myself. I think a lot of them are like that, not sure why. I guess some aren't sure it's what they want, and some are scared to bring it up.
Give up the Snow Patrol. I pride myself on not having listened to a single one of their songs for the first 18 months after H left. Listened to Drive last week and I got through it OK. I think it's a sign!
Is the plan to call BF tomorrow for a quick catch-up? I hope it goes well (and am sure it will!).
Al, I was going to post but I guess Lisa said it all. Have patience and if you can restraint in reading too much into stuff. I would say the big thing is patience, it is so frustrating that we can't hurry them along... but would we want them back before they were ready? Carry on doing your GAL stuff and enjoying and taking charge of your life. In general, you are doing really well, even if you are down today. Tomorrow is a new day Are you strutting your stuff at Tang So Du - -is that how you say it?
Sorry you lost the job; do you still have a hostessing one to fall back on?
One Day is right: during the Withdrawal period you are the last person they want to/are able to confide in. And 2.5 months really isn't that long for withdrawal, in their time-stopped alien minds. Sure, phone him if you need to, but try not to let any R talk happen. At this point he's likely still cycling, not ready to move straight ahead yet, and you don't want to get caught up in that.
As for "normal"--well, MLC really isn't a normal state of mind, is it. Yet, most of what he's doing is pretty normal for where he is now.
Your birthday may or may not register with him in his present state. And if it does, is it really worth much analying? More important, what are YOUR plans for your birthday? Think how far you've come in the last few months, and plan a fitting celebration for YOU. (And, yeah, perhaps get out something a little more upbeat to listen to?)
So sorry about the job. Cyrena asked if you still have the 2nd to fall back on?
Concerning teaching, look on-line for "teaching English overseas" or something like that. They'll have stuff and you don't have to have a degree to do it. Check them out if you are serious.
As for the man, keep going slowly, but keep these interactions alive. He's responding, but remember, he won't come flying back. If the R talk starts, it won't be settled all at once either.
Steel yourself to going slowly and expecting very little.
Do plan for an exciting Ali-evening next week for your birthday...and the depressing music should be shelved for now.
I had a really good day today at college, we all went to the pub for 3 hours and laughed like hyenas. I was then going to call my ex tonight, but I just couldnt do it.. I sat there with the phone and dialled like 6 times, but I couldnt, fear I guess, fear of rejection, bothing him, not having the right to call him. Also though, he hasnt given me his number or new address, so whilst I could call his mobile, it feels that he doesnt want me to call him, else he would have given me his landline. That could be an illusion, but its how I feel.
Hey Julia, yes i had a fantastic time at Tang Soo Do Monday! I am going for my yellow belt soon !
Hey Lisa...I like that, good point "He's unlikely to revel his feelings to you particularly since he probably knows that it would have a big impact on you." - you really made me think with that. He knows any chink of emotion has huge significance, so the wall stays up I guess. I did rearead the MLC stuff as you suggested and my ex matches it to a T! (with anger, then depression, then replay and possibly he is now in withdrawal).
Rob, GFI.. no, no other income! Its ok, the universe has freed me up to finish my degree, which I am due to on 26th May. I couldnt have gone on like that, it was taking up too much time. So its a blessing!
Hey Cyrena, well, seems that everyone agrees he is perhaps in some kind of withdrawal phase. I imagine he feels terrible that he got himself into this R and feels like he has been through some kind of ordeal, which has got him lower and left him with nothing. So, its not surprising we are in little contact. I also thnk he lacks the balls to call me, but then he wont whilst she is around (although he did several times before Christmas?).
BMF is seeing him tommorow night for a chat.. I am curious as to whether he won that contract!
As for my birthday.. I think I accept it wont be great. My family are sending me nice pressies, everyone at college plans to go out in the lunchhour with me.. but the evening as yet, no plans. Last year, I spent it alone. My ex wanted to see me but wasnt up to it.. he came round the next day and finally admitted he had depression and he cried all night. It was one time we talked honestly.
Hmm.. Chers been emailing me, her fiance (BMF) is making excuses about moving in with her. Oh dear.
Anyway, I dont ask about my ex anymore, I wait to be told, if they choose..and today she told me that BMF is meeting my ex tonight for a chat. She isnt seeing her fiance then though until Sunday, so if she wants to pass on any of what she hears, it wont be until next week.. and then its my birthday on Tuesday.
I wish I had called him a month ago, when I first heard all the positive things he had said about me. I cant help feel I cant believe he misses me, as we havent spoken in so long and he is not motivated to see me/speak to me. But as said above, in reality, he is depressed and withdrawn, breaking up with her and there are probably lots of reasons he cant deal with me, so things arent always what they seem.
When his BMF W back home told me last birthday that he missed me and said he thought he had made a mistake leaving, I was amazed, that wasnt obvious from his actions!.. a year later, I am still hearing the same message from friends and yet, he still hasnt said told me that and I am STILL ALONE !!!
Are you strutting your stuff at Tang So Du - -is that how you say it?