Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
whenever I'm on the phone, which really isn't THAT much...I have friends that are on it all day...my H really shows annoyance.
I need to talk to him somehow about it. He acts mad while I'm on it, then acts like it never happened later, so it's hard to bring it up.
Like, yesterday, I'm talking to Laura, and CJ is all upset because I said no to something, because H told him to ask me. This is while I'm making supper too, and H is watching football. I can hear him in the house saying who the heck is she talking to anyways like he's annoyed. I'm thinking, okay, what's the big deal.
so there are little things that are starting to bother me with him, and things he's getting bothered about me. it also doesn't help that he gets SO frustrated with the kids. They are always arguing.
hmmmmmmmm. I need to figure this all out.
we've at least ML 3 times this last week though, so that's good.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
ok, said to H while in bed, "I have a question, how come you get mad when I'm on the phone" and he was like, whatdya mean. he remember about when I was talking to Laura, but not when I was talking on the phone in Wichita, when he slammed the door after asking who I was talking to. It just happened to be BG.
so, now I'm wondering if maybe it's because it is DB people I'm talking to. So, now that I've mentioned it, maybe he'll be more conscious of what he's been doing. who knows.
I swear, never thought I'd have problems with a guy wanting my attention, if that's what he's wanting.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
meaning, I figured I'd always have a guy that wasn't needing my attention.
except, sometimes he does the opposite, like if he goes to a friends house to watch the game, friends that I know too, but he doesn't invite me. but, maybe that's because he's got the friends and doesn't need me.
oh why am I trying to figure this out. I'm retarded.
BG, I wish that you were on here. I hope that you are just making yourself busy.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Journal. Well guess what my H has said. He is planning on quiting at beginning of Feb! I'm scared and happy and sad all at once.
He went back to work today after vaca and just is done. He's tired of the little pay and just everything. I am very proud of him for making plans to take a risk. wish it was with me and the monavie, but that's okay, at least he's planning this. He's always been, since he started working after we got prego, the type of person to just be comfortable and never take a risk. This job he's had for 11-12 years now.
So, the plan is, to use 2 weeks vaca in a month and go to KS to stay with his mom or friend to learn pulling dents. his friend of 20 years has had his own biz for 12 and the guy makes in one day what James does in a week. and that's when he's not even doing anything and spending money too! The only scary thing, is there's no benefits, so no health ins (not that we need the doc, we never need to go anymore) and he'll have to train w/o pay for possibly almost 2 months. Which we could do, but it's still scary.
the other scary thing is, that his friend may be gone for a week, or may be gone for a whole month at a time. They travel to the hail sites, which they even went to Germany for 2 months last year. So, I said, is that a good thing for our family? I really don't want what happened to years ago to happen again. He said that he felt we were passed that and that no, it's not the best for the family, but thought we know better now. and the fact that we will never get out of our debt unless we file for BK, or something drastic happens, like this.
So, I definitely need to leave this one up to God.
He did mention, how he's kinda sick that he never went to his friend for a job before (didn't want to be like everyone else asking for a job), and that things would be way different, but then he'd probably be single and wouldn't have met me and had all this. so that was nice. as long as he wasn't being sarcastic! lol and if you've been at our house in the last week, you would think he WAS being sarcastic! 2day was much better though, not much yelling or fighting between us all.
anyways, that was way long, I'll keep ya'all posted on the job though! I'll definitely have more time to check up on everyone if he's gone for weeks at a time!!!
what do you all think about that? I'm also scared for the influence. his friend is not a strong christian, doesn't go to church and not sure if he has a belief, just know his wife was catholic and he went sometimes. And all the guys that work together in the company can really hold their own when it comes to drinking, which they do a lot I think. my H, cannot, and I don't think he would fall into that very easily, but you just never know. So, although I love the fact that he is wanting to make a big step (finally after all these years) I'm still scared of the impact to our family it will have. or maybe it will make him love the home more? maybe I can make changes with the house, or with the kids easier if he's not here. oh IDK. a dad should always be present.
this makes me sad. I'm really not a needy person, and we were apart the first 4 years of our R, and it really didn't bother me as much as it would all my GFs who would die if their H would leave for a week. But also, my H's supposed top 5LL is quality time. how can we have quality time if he's not here, and he doesn't really like to talk much.
definitely don't read all that in one sitting!!!!
thanks friends for any input.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
the only part of this that might concern me a little bit is just how fast he is moving on this major change and whether or not you saw any of this coming. Did he communicate the idea that he might be getting ready to bail on his job that he has been at for so very long.
All i can say is that make sure your feelings are known on what is transpiring... try to find the brake pedal a little bit if you feel it is necessary for you to digest this. You two have to be moving along together as one unit and the "one flesh" tandem with God. I hope he was considerate enough to bring the idea to you and present it to you for your input and your feelings and not just tell you "I will be doing this". If the consideration was in fact given to you ..it seemed you did not mention it or allude to it in what you posted, unless I missed it.
Peace and prayers a plenty for you and your's my dear.
no, he usually doesn't ask me if it's something he really wants to do. It's not often it happens, and I do feel that God has put him in charge of the family, and that he is suppose to be the leader of the house, so I'm not bothered by it. Usually he knows my opinions on things, like if he were to have said, hey we're going to move back to Wichita next month... ya, I'd have a problem. And granted, I would have like him to ask my opinion, but he is the one working the job, and I have been dying for him to take a risk for years.
and in regards to him wanting to quit. that's been for the last 3 years. see how long it takes him to do something?!? his friend actually offered him to try about 5-8 years ago I think, but you know what? if he had done it then too, we wouldn't be together, I'm almost positive. our M wasn't strong enough, hadn't gone thru enough trials to stand up to being away that much. probably.
I did tell him that I was excited and scared and sad. glad that he was taking a risk and that he deserved so much more than what pepsi gave him, and I didn't want him in something that he hated, scared about the ins part, sad because he'd be gone more from the family, scared about what it could do to us being apart, and my thoughts on moving...that he dragged me down here and if he would have asked me 2 years ago to move back, I woulda said yes in a heart beat, but now things are different and I don't want to move.
So, he says he hasn't thought about the moving thing... although I'm sure he has, and I'm positive he wants to move back. But that's really not fair, IMHO. I moved for him, then his mom moves back to wichita and we're here alone for 6 years and I finally make a life for myself and then he wants to move back. I know he's suppose to lead our family, but I mean, is that really fair?
And actually, he really doesn't have to move to KS to do the job. He just needs to be there for a couple months to train. The job requires them to travel everywhere, so it really doesn't matter where he lives. I understand the desire to be with friends and have our kids grow up with their kids, but we're only 3 hours away, it's not like an all day drive.
anyways, I just really don't wanna move now darnit.
even though my band thing kinda collapsed, but I'm still working with one of them thru email and we're going to try to write songs together, which I've never done, but I am letting God guide me and hopefully I'm following the right path.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
