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#1681517 - 12/27/08 05:29 AM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: JDOllie]
Tawnya Offline
Member

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 2556
Loc: NC
LOL..yeah..it was a pretty song tho..never heard of him before, he does have a cool voice and yeah..it would be nice to say wouldn't it? \:\)

Thanks for sharing

Tawnya
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Me:39
H:40
D18/S12
M20/T21
Bomb 10/11/08
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#1681541 - 12/27/08 09:04 AM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: Tawnya]
likingMEagain Offline
Member

Registered: 12/18/08
Posts: 55
Oh my gosh! I LOVE Paolo Nutini! And especially that song! Totally reminds me of H, too. He introduced me to Paolo...

Another one to look up, Matt Nathanson's "Come on Get Higher" (I THINK that's the name of it), and "Bulletproof Weeks". I'm not good at the linking thing, but I'm sure you can find them if you look them up on youtube.

(((Tawnya)))I've missed 'talking' to you here, friend! Gotta get back into the groove. Maybe this weekend...

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#1681660 - 12/27/08 04:46 PM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: JDOllie]
Tawnya Offline
Member

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 2556
Loc: NC
bumping my own thread back up..I'd love any advice to the questions I asked when I replied back to Sandi yesterday about this:
<<You know, my mom asked me the same question you did about "why is he still there?" last night, what my hub told me is that he was told by a L that if he left before a sep agreement was in place I could sue him for abandonment..my mom thinks that crap..LOL..HOWEVER, to be honest, what WOULD I do in that situation and he doesn't leave? HECK if I know..I don't think I SHOULD have to leave and move somewhere else..but..I dunno, that certainly would make him think if I found a 3 bedroom somewhere and moved the kids and I out and left him to take care of life, laundry, 5 cats, and a dog eh? I think sometimes it must be so much easier to be the "bread winning male" left behind (not that it is EASY guys..totally it's not), but to not have to worry about "well he makes the most money so I can't kick him out, or whatever"..I'd love some thoughts on that>>

Tawnya
_________________________
Me:39
H:40
D18/S12
M20/T21
Bomb 10/11/08
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#1681664 - 12/27/08 04:55 PM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: Tawnya]
JDOllie Offline
Member

Registered: 12/13/08
Posts: 1005
Loc: Ohio
I don't think you could sue for abandonment, unless he stopped paying bills, etc.

What is your ratio on income? I mean does he make majority of money?

If you leave, it sets a bad precedent. A lot of times, a court will just follow what you've already done. It is a big boost to me that W moved out, I am almost guaranteed to keep the house completely on my own. Plus, when going through a D, one of the best things you can do for kids is keep them in their house, school, church. All things I have done, W hasn't. W is so self-absorbed she is just doing what she wants for herself, and has no idea how badly she is hurting herself in court.
W moved out into an apartment while we were still under divorce restraining orders - we simply made our own agreement, and didn't tell the courts

I absolutely wouldn't leave! Maybe you should start doing all the laundry but his, and tell him to do his OWN! hee hee
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#1681665 - 12/27/08 05:03 PM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: JDOllie]
Tawnya Offline
Member

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 2556
Loc: NC
LOL Jon..the thought about the laundry HAS crossed my mind \:\)
You are right and I don't WANT to go anywhere..I don't think I should have to go anywhere, and I don't want to unsettle the kids!

Tawnya
_________________________
Me:39
H:40
D18/S12
M20/T21
Bomb 10/11/08
One
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Three
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#1681668 - 12/27/08 05:09 PM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: Tawnya]
marriedCrazy Offline
Member

Registered: 09/06/08
Posts: 2105
Tawnya..here's my thoughts:

1. Don't leave..he should leave and support you and the kids in the house.

2. I'm not sure about the abandonment rule in your state; that's a question for the L. Ask it!!

3. The kids need a little disruption to their lives as possible. But since your kids are older and they know the sitch now; maybe discuss the possibility of moving with them. They might surprise you with the answer, ya never know. When my parents split, (I was 10) I was happy to move and get away. I guess I needed a change as well. If it will make it easier on YOU to move to some place cheaper; I'd consider it an option so long as it doesn't jeopardize your case against the H. Again another question for the L.

4. Any question that comes up in your mind about your sitch, write it down. That way, the next time you discuss things with your L; you'll already be armed with questions. Potentially, this will make things cheaper as you don't keep going back to your L with questions that take up billable time.

Hugs...

Tom
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#1681685 - 12/27/08 05:49 PM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: marriedCrazy]
Tomato Offline
Member

Registered: 01/03/08
Posts: 4058
Loc: Northeast
Hey T

Wishing you peace in the little stuff and more. \:\)

Just made my debut visit to The Way to Emmaus a Christian Books & more store just around the corner from me. Just so happens it is in the town of Emmaus. Got some nice stuff to listen to and decorate my place with. It was a boost I really needed.

The rest of the boost will have to come from sleeping. Siesta time. C ya.

From T
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#1681686 - 12/27/08 05:53 PM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: Tomato]
Tawnya Offline
Member

Registered: 10/13/08
Posts: 2556
Loc: NC
{{{Tomato}}} Hope you have a good siesta \:\) Peace back to you \:\)

Tom..you are right..I have a friend of mine who happens to be good friends with a Christian lawyer..which was cool and I didn't know that until she and I talked a few weeks ago, I actually just sent her a note asking her if she could talk to him for me, as far as setting up a time to come see him, tho I HATE having to spend more $$$ to do this blahhhhh LOL \:\)

THANK you for your thoughts..they are very well taken and very smart!

Tawnya
_________________________
Me:39
H:40
D18/S12
M20/T21
Bomb 10/11/08
One
Two
Three
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#1681755 - 12/27/08 08:51 PM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: Tawnya]
JDOllie Offline
Member

Registered: 12/13/08
Posts: 1005
Loc: Ohio
{{{Tawnya}}},
The one thing I will tell you about L - they do their job. To them, your relationships is a piece of paper, and their sole purpose in life is to make sure that you get the largest piece of the pie.

I would suggest going in with a list of questions on a piece of paper, ask the question, get answers and advice, take copious notes, and go. Don't try to explain your emotions or why the marriage isn't working, etc, unless you think it directly applies to ownership of the house, custody, etc. I spent a couple hundred bucks pouring out my heart, and then realized I should spend that money on a C! \:\)

I don't demean lawyers in saying this - it IS their job. But don't expect counseling, care, and a shoulder to cry on - although at $150/hour, I would let someone cry on my shoulder! \:\) Obviously, they will do as you direct them, but it is in their best interest to "win" a divorce case.
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#1681760 - 12/27/08 09:06 PM Re: Another wife Hit by the Bomb #6 [Re: JDOllie]
Tomato Offline
Member

Registered: 01/03/08
Posts: 4058
Loc: Northeast
there are only losers in D's. That is an absolute.
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