I have often wondered if I needed to be somewhere else on the forums, but you are the second newcomer in a week to have posted to me that you found my journey inspiring and encouraging. Obviously, I am where God needs me to be at this moment. If my mess can inspire one person not to give up, to hold strong for the sanctity of their marriage and the covenant vow made before God, than I feel like I have in some small way served His kingdom, as I can never repay the blessings He has given me in my life.
D17s are so much fun--NOT! Mine is actually almost talking to me again, so that is a plus.
Enjoy the love dare. I hit a point in the book where logistically it was truly impossible for me to continue, due to DH's deployment. Did you see Fireproof? It is still at a couple of theaters and comes out on DVD in January. Check a local Christian bookstore--they will have it on presale.
Getting into the Word will help to transform you into the person God wants you to be. The neat thing is, when we change, those around us will change in response to our changes. In many instances, that turns into a win-win situation.
I'd like to recommend another website to you--for spiritual strength. It is Rejoice Marriage Ministries. Its founders were divorced after 19 years of marriage, then remarried each other 2 years later. Listen to the radio station that live feeds through the website. Both Bob and Charlyne, the founders, have kind, gentle voices that sooth a weary heart and mind.
I will keep you and yours in my prayers, may I do so now? ****************************************************************
Heavenly Father--I exalt Your name and give thanks for the many blessings You bestow daily on my life. This new friend you have guided to me is just one more example of a blessing bestowed. Through her kind words, You have once again reaffirmed my calling to stand for the restoration of my marriage, as well as to offer support, prayers, and guidance to those in similar circumstances.
Lift up my sister is Christ as she faces the days and months ahead. While the struggle seems hard and uphill, give her the strength to stay her course. Wrap her children in your sheltering arms, protecting them for the storms that are tossing around them. Build a hedge of thorns between her husband and whatever temptations he is facing that are plaguing their marriage. Tear down every stronghold by the power of the Promise contained in Your Word, the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and the shed blood of your Son, Jesus Christ, in whose name we pray. Amen
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Yeah you were meant to be in N/C for a bit longer ..you newcomer you. Plus that is the proverbial leper colony for Redskins fans .. i think ...LMAO.
Oh you are immensely good at the spreading of the good news my dear L. While they have ears they often are not listening. So shout on my dear Sis. I am not averse to joining in on the giving Him the glory at every turn ..as you know. So I will ready my pipes as well for when you might tire ......yeah right ... L, the energizer bunny. I hear the cymbals crashing this far away from VA beach.
Happy birthday to the little kazzooo. Has he ever played a kazzoo. I can remember when I was super young getting a hold of one of them from when an aunt had died and we found it in her house I believe. Was pretty cool find as a kid .. plus I probably liked driving the adults bonkers .
Hey, girl, just checking in on you. I am again w/ a TDY H, but he comes home Friday, so I can handle that! The 2 younger ones are doing strange stuff in the middle of the night & I'm not getting much sleep, but that's about the only down side so far.
Hope you are having a good day today!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Look girly, at this point there's no right or wrong answer in your actions. Your doing a good job with what you got. You know my H OW was 10-11 years younger than both of us and never had any kids. She didn't have stretch marks, baby nursed boobies, nor birthing hips nothing. She had no responsability and was making probably about $10,000 per month at her job. She traveled globally, was foreign, you get my drift.... heck I wonder why he came home it sounds like so much fun! I'm just a simple girl from Arkansas with two kids, a belly pooch from babies,the girls certainly aren't nearly at attention like they used to be before kids, not working (going back to school)...hhmm now if your looking on the surface who seems like the better deal?
She was offering him a little house in Greece, a little fishing boat, everything she knew that could hook him. She even told him she was going to have her eggs frozen so when things settled between us they could have a baby together. H had a vas when daughter was 6 months old. He never wanted anymore kids, but he told her he would do it. He now says he wouldnt' have done it.
Heck, I never understood what or where she thought his other kids where going to disappear to. I guess she just thought he would abandon them like her dad did to her. She appeared to show great interest in my daughters relationship with my H though (in a creepy way) she talked a lot about her in their communications while barely mentioning the boy.
Sorry, got side tracked again in the pyschology of it all. LOL
What I am saying it really doesn't matter what the other package looks like because it's not about them it's about your H.
May God bless you and yours on this special day and just so you know SMW, I prayed hardest for the OW and still add her in every now and then....(she's a lost soul and I always pray that she has her own restoration with her own covenant husband and of course, her salvation).
Blesssings
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Take things slow and give her space and time to get used to the repentant you. If possible, get connected to a counselor through church. They will be decidedly pro-marriage.
while this is probably mostly true, even at my church my pastor (he was young though) said that it takes both of us to save the marriage. Now, to me, that is a wordly view as we know that we can save our M's single-handedly! well, okay, it does take two, but our spouse is not one of them! lol
SMW, I would suggest not holding back more emails/contact than you are. I believe you are being dark as much as you should be.
The other reason is that I believe you still need to be that wife that God has called you to be. It doesn't mean to go overboard, but I believe you still need to be present.
I believe that because of my attitude, not ignoring or going completely dark, but instead having an attitude of fun, carefree, not acting like anything he did bothered me (unless it was a boundary) and treating him as a friend that knew he wanted a D and I didn't pressure him to do otherwise, was the reason for my success. Of course I want to give God all the credit, not me, I was just following what I believed God was telling me.
SMW, I know this is going on for a long time, and I know it's really hard, just try not to let his ignorance cause bitterness for you, because I am sensing that. Try to really see the small positives as positives, for ex. the email to the kids, which was really really good. IMHO, I would be careful of your lack of responses so it doesn't seem as though your angry or don't care. But ultimately, do what works for your H, as every person takes things differently.
(((SMW)))
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Thanks for the Birthday wishes for S3! He has been a booger all day today. We are having a party for him on Saturday.
Sandy and Crissy, I will answer ya'll later in depth, but wanted you to both know I got the messages.
I wanted to share something with you guys that a friend just emailed me. It is funny and thought provoking. Make sure your volume is on and watch all the way to the end.
