What do you mean by "do not share". What is acceptable to share? Only talks about the kids?
It means don't let her have her cake and eat it too regarding love and marriage. No romancing her or competing for her love. It just doesn't work. It seems that you still are having a hard time believing that those two are in an affair relationship. At this point, you are always going to lose.
I have been analyzing affairs and relationships for over 20 years. The common thread that I have observed over and over is that the WS doesn't come back until they "feel" the BS has let go and may have moved on. Over and over and over. I have rarely seen them come back while fighting for them. RARELY. It seems to me that if the common thread is that they come back when you finally get go, then it would be wise of you to either "let go" or pretend to let go.
Have you read Kalni's thread? Did you notice when her WS started turning around?
YEP. When she stood up and started to show him that she could care less whether he came back or not. Go read it. She then gave him a list of things she needed from him before she would even think about giving it a chance. (he agreed to do those things)
It also will make YOU feel better about yourself. You can't possibly feel good about yourself if you were to allow your WS to continue to have her lover as her friend. It just won't work.
I think you should become mysterious. Stop all relationship talk. Start going out and having fun on your own and enjoy life. I think you should get a backbone and stop checking their emails and texts. Not because it isn't good for you, but because you have come to the point of.... "WHO NEEDS THIS NONSENSE AND DRAMA?"
When a man has the correct self esteem he does NOT put up with the type of behavior from his wife, girlfriend, women he dates or any woman who can't doesn't show him respect. Men who have success with women realize that fighting for their love DOES NOT WORK. (If it worked, I would tell you to fight for her.)
What works is to let her go and let her see that you are just "perfectly fine without her" and as a matter of fact are enjoying your "single life" to the hilt.
What you do is up to you. I certainly won't lose sleep over it either way. I do know that what I have told you about my observations regarding situations like yours in the past 20 years has shown me over and over that you are only spinning your wheels by "fighting for her."
How should you treat her?
Be nice. Be respectful. Let all things roll off of your back. When she starts acting or talking like a b****ch to you, then politely end the call, or walk out of the room, or tell her you have to go. Let her chase you.
You are for sure caught up in her drama. Maybe you like the drama as much as she does, no?
