I am sorry for all your trouble. I didn't mean that you shouldn't be taking care of your son. I meant that maybe you should also be living with another adult. (Of course a reliable husband would be the obvious but impossible choice). But maybe one of your parents? How a man can walk out on his wife in this situation is beyond mind-boggling, it seems it should be illegal.
Well, since it is not, I have to deal with my sitch to the best of my ability. Most days I can handle it just fine, others I tend to fall. I never let myself fall for more than a couple of days though, just cant see wasting so much time wallowing.
I have been feeling pretty good today. Keep looking back at the last few nights with STBXH and forcing myself not to read anything into any of his actions. He just wants to be my friend. As hard as it is, I need to just leave it at that. Funny how two weeks ago his presence annoyed me and I was indifferent towards him. Oh, this wonderful rollercoaster ride - just when you think you can get off another loop appears. But, I also understand that I am the one controlling this ride. Each day I am trying my best to detach and let go. Like everyone else here, some days are great others not so much.
Thanks for checking in on me. Oh, and Sara, I did not take it in a negative way at all. Unfortunately my parents live in AZ, and my brother is 2 hours away. All of my friends live here so I do have a wonderful support network, but (and please, no lectures here, this is MY choice) no one knows about my cancer with the exception of this board, one friend, my brother and STBXH. I am a very private person and do not enjoy talking about it. I also do not want the pity looks or the awkwardness that it can bring. I am doing really good and if I hear things turn for the worse, then I am going to share with everyone else.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
Ready, your the only adult male contact I have in my life right now. I am going to take anything I can get.
Ok, so I have been doing some thinking. Michelle says to do some 180's and monitor results. I have always been a strong person and tend to be stuborn as well. Especially when it has come to my illness. I know that my H needs to be appreciated and admired, and I have been trying to give him that. Now I think he has a need to be needed as well. That way he gets a since of accomplishment. I emailed him today and asked him if he would be willing to come over and help with the yard work this weekend. He responded back immediately "Absolutely!" He then wanted to know how I was feeling as well.
I am not trying to find too much hope, but I am looking for ways to try and fill is love bank back up with me. If it doesnt work, then I gave it my all. Not getting my hopes up though. Just trying to validate him as a person. I have to say, though, for someone who is so done with me I sure see him alot. Again, maybe someone needs to hit me with a 2x4 so that I dont fall. I really am trying not to read anything into this.
Last edited by brokenhearted; 09/20/0812:40 AM.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
Also Be Appreciative of things he already is doing!!! This will go along ways!!! No matter how small, as long as you notice.
Example:
Thanks for bring the paper (or mail) in...
Thanks for washing the car, filling up with gas, changing the oil, washing the windshield....
PLEASE DO NOT GO OVERBOARD. Also, you really need to appreciate what he does (Don't fake it).
Quote:
your the only adult male contact I have in my life right now
OK---BIG 180. Start getting more MALE adult contact. You shouldn't have any problems since you FISH.....DO NOT GET IT ALL FROM A SMALL NUMBER OF MEN!!!WORK TOWARDS A little contact from lots of MEN....Go get a massage from a MALE. Go get your nails done by a MALE....
NO INTENTIONS/NO EXPECTATIONS is my motto....
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Does it count if they are gay? Those I have lots of. Hope I'm not being stupid here, bit what does FISH mean?
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
