SMW, huh??? I think I'm missing something. yes....part of my brain!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
baby, wow, you have a 16 year old. I do NOT want to think about how my s10 will be when he's 16! yikes! very scary~!
an ya, I know what you mean by throwing things in their face, but it would only cause a fight or resentment for H, and we DON'T want that, so yes, sometimes we must bite our tongue.
okay, I need to get some motivation to work out. this is bad, after my James diet (that's what I call my 2 wk depression of no eating losing 10 lbs) I kept that same weight for a whole year...then the next thanksgiving came, and after that I gained 10 lbs over the course of 4 months. I HATE that! now I'm back to my same weight again. I know I need to excercise, but I'm such a procrastinator when it comes to that, plus there is so much else that needs to be done, so I think, unless I have time for an hour, why bother doing anything. that's not a good way to think I know.
So, who wants to join me in a get-fit race????
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
SMW, here's that letter I wrote to my H years ago during our sitch.
He was leaving to go on a motorcycle and just camp out for a weekend or week at grand lake. I wasn't sure if OW would be there (and I found out from receipts for gas that he met her later, or else picked her up or something. have no idea what, but it's in the past now) anyways, I wanted him to read this and that maybe he would have some type of conviction while he was away.
Quote:
James I hope you had lots of fun in ***. Hopefully your reading this when your suppose to I just want you to know that I will always be here for you. I am still your best friend and probably anyone else would be hating you or pushing you away, but I am not everyone else. Because I am letting God have control of this situation, he has released my anger and pain. He has opened my eyes to the woman I have been playing. I have not been the woman God has called me to be bu, He is changing me, and has changed me and I'm excited about that! I want you to know that no matter how hard, bad, sinful, painful our lives can be, Jesus has died for us so that we do not have to be bound by those. Ephesians 2:4 "But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ, even when we were dead in sin- it is by grace you have been saved." As I write this, I'm thinking how proud and excited I am for you when you go riding alone around the lake. I hope God fills your heart with peace and understanding. You are a man of worth and you are priceless. You have so much to give to our children and everyone around you. Be careful out there, have a wonderful time and we will be waiting patiently for you and can't wait to hear how your trip went! In God's Love, Crissy
I never posted it on here (I don't think anyways) so I never had any critiques so there are things on there I wouldn't have said now.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
OK well it only took me like a month to catch up on ya Sorry!!
I am sooo excited that you got to play with the band in church! Cold or not, that's great.
OMG... I have the same slacking issues with H... the ML, the GAL.. first things to go, right?
Hmmm the vaca with other people. This is something that REALLY bothered me with H at first too. I actually was b!tchy enough about it that we ONLY went on trips by ourselves unless it was a wedding or something with family around. Recently I've been able to understand why he likes friends along (more "excitement") and why I like just us ("quality time/intimacy")... it seemed to help. We've taken a few trips where it's "just us" for the first 2 days then friends joined us later. Would that maybe work for you?
I soo wish I was but not so ready for the get-fit race. I know, I suck!! Least I'm honest. I think it's a great goal!! And one of mine soon, just not quite yet.
Thanks for always being such an awesome friend, ST.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
wow, so you made your H do only couple vaca's. I actually didn't have the guts to make him do anything, I would just be depressed about it, and try to act like it didn't bother me. how pathetic is that????
I'm actually disappointed about our friends not going though. cause she's a really good friend now an helped me thru my sitch. I'm also kinda nervous about just going alone. See, that is soo weird. that's why I'm still kinda shocked that we are still together. I wonder how he feels, if he's awkward too.
thanks Nik for being honest. I'm not ready yet either! haha ----------------------
well, my H is not fired...thank goodness for now. He plans to quit sometime, but we're not ready yet. and we'd rather him leave on HIS terms not theirs. maybe I didn't post this, but he got suspended again. so messed up, but supposedly he'll actually get paid for these days. guess we will find out for certain tomorrow when he goes in.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Just a note that I will be heading out of town tomorrow! will be back on Wed or thur, but may be able to check in at my moms. We'll be in pittsburgh watching a steeler game! hoping we can do some fun stuff together as well, since we'll be alone this time.
I just got an questionaire if you will, on my aunt and her request for anulment of her M. ugh. don't really want to do it. it's annonymous, but still, when you feel in your heart that every M could be saved, and that M is suppose to be for life, it's hard to take my aunts side. He did have his problems, could't hold a job well, drank too much, may have done some pot here and there, and had some anger problems, but my aunt had problems of her own. she was very controlling, handled everything, would treat him almost as a child, so it was a huge cycle that just got worse and worse. and he would try so hard, but it would be TOO hard that it was annoying and eventually she was disgusted by him. I suppose all I will do is try to answer the questions as honestly as possible. yuck. ------------------ alright, so I've decided that I'm as big as I was pre-bomb, and I'm very upset with myself! so, I'm fasting in some way this week, well, eating less anyways. It's very good for your body to fast for a few days (fasting as in only eating fruits, or only liquids, not actual starvation fast) every few months. I was getting into a bad habit of eating too much, so this will be good for me. I have also tried to do more exercises again, but it's hard.
I've also decided that I need to start being positive about everything. I really complain too much, and I need to wrap myself around everything that is good and pleasing to God! There are many things in my life where things are not going the way I had hoped. Things that are harder or disappointing. But I cannot let those things attack me, and I will take them in as lessons. God is still teaching me patience, as my childcare business is harder than I would have thought...having 7 boys in my house, that's too much testosterone! I even ended up praying over a 9 year old that got way way way out of hand, I didn't even let him on the bus, it was that bad. maybe someday I'll tell ya what happened, but it was aweful! then, I have felt that the enemy has really attacked me on my monavie bus. there have been several people that were very excited to do it with me, and then they disappear! I mean, I don't THINK I'm a crazy person that people decide all the sudden they don't like me??? There are so many people becoming so successful with it, and I think I've had this belief in my mind that it won't ever work for me, so now I'm making it come true. I've had so many let downs in my life, and we've always been on the poor side, or lacking side, so I've never seen anything higher for myself, I've always seen myself at the bottom. I'm never going to quit though because it's changed my life and so many of my friends, so I will always tell people about it no matter what happens on the business side of it.
okay, I should pray since my s4 is asleep, and I need to do that more often, and especially for all of you.
love you all!!!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I'm not an "exerciser" either but I suggest signing up for a weekly class. If you pay for it, and it's a regularly scheduled event, you will be more likely to go. At least that's how it works for me. I go to yoga once a week (through our community center).
I didn't realize that you do child care in your home. Seven boys at once! God bless you! I know I couldn't deal with more children than I already have, so I admire you.
I just want you to know that I will always be here for you. I am still your best friend and probably anyone else would be hating you or pushing you away, but I am not everyone else. Because I am letting God have control of this situation, he has released my anger and pain. He has opened my eyes to the woman I have been playing. I have not been the woman God has called me to be bu, He is changing me, and has changed me and I'm excited about that! I want you to know that no matter how hard, bad, sinful, painful our lives can be, Jesus has died for us so that we do not have to be bound by those. 
Sorry!!