None of this is in your control. Don't feel bad for venting to H it wasn't about you it was about the kids and he needs to hear that IMHO. You no the Navy you have lived it your entire life this types of changes should be nothing new to you.
Remember he called you first as you stated so that tells me he is doing ALOT of thinking about the family which is VERY GOOD!! Always look for the baby steps he just took another...
Find a calm spot and stay your path say a prayer and then focus, it's gonna be okay trust in yourself and the man above us...
Wow! I'm still thinking that this may be a positive...no more eggshells this week for any of you...and a chance to get on with one of the things you do best...writing the letters and winning his heart through those!
I definitely think he got your point about the kids getting shortchanged, and I'm certain he's regretting at least some of his week last week (maybe all of it). I think that will bode well for your cause! Continue to be as upbeat and supportive as you can. I agree that it's okay to act disappointed...what wife wouldn't be. But, make sure you leave him with a smile on your face.
As for the nightie, I think there's still time...just after the kids go to bed. I don't know about anyone else, but I think he's not tried because of the guilt he feels and the possibility that you might just be soooo disgusted with him that you wouldn't be receptive.
My friend told me just this morning, that people expect others to act a certain way based on their own limitations. For example, she believes that my H won't even try to come back until I convince him (through actions mind you) that I could forgive him. In his (limited) view of the world, he's committed the unforgivable sin, and he can't imagine that I could ever get over it. He can't understand that I'm not the same person he is, and that God will help me "get over it."
There's some truth in those words. I think you should at least open the door for your H on the physical side...that way he'll know you are open to it, and that will give him more to think about while he's away. If he doesn't bite, that's okay...it's not about you, it's about him! But, remember, they don't necessarily take hints sooo good...you might have to be quite forward!
Keep on keeping on...it's what you do best and what inspires the rest of us!!!
Amy
p.s. By the way, M, I'm a War Eagle all the way!!! In fact, my mom and dad still live in Auburn! Sorry!!!
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
((SMW)) I came right into your thread today first also, hoping to find you doing better! The first threads from where I left yesterday..it was so wonderful to see you joking and having fun! and of course its ya'll not me that has the accent lol! LOVE the card from the kids, I do the same thing lol!
I am so sorry about your H having to leave early!! Do you know when it will be definet? I do feel for your children, its so not fair to them. I admire you for the way you handled the news, and the way you thought it out....why it couldnt be left in anyones control, especially gods. you gave me alot of strength yesterday, in fact I called a church where a pastor works at that I used to wait on all the time, and really admired, its only about 5 minutes away, and I am going to meet with him, and start attending church again, for ME! Hang in there sweetie, I am here all day if you need anything!!
BG--
So glad you called the pastor. I know you will find more out about yourself thorugh this process. You are a strong woman, youjust need to believe in your own strength. When I first read your story, I thought of this song:
Lord I ask you to consider my entreaty for my sister. Lord, if it is your will, let this be the very day that the scales fall from the eyes of your son and he looks at his beautiful children and his beautiful wife that loves him unconditionally despite his many mistakes and missteps.
Lord, if this is not your plan for today, then let this be the day that he cements in his mind just how much he has at stake and makes him want to work toward that point. Let him reach out and hold this woman in his arms and feel the love that only she can offer.
I ask this Lord, in your name, for all glory and exultation to you and for your view of marriage as the sanctified relationship of two becoming one. What God has joined together, let no man tear it asunder.
Amen.
Now, Laura, go find the sexiest baby doll nightie you have and be sure he sees you in it. Just look at him very quietly and with love. And then pray. I am.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
None of this is in your control. Don't feel bad for venting to H it wasn't about you it was about the kids and he needs to hear that IMHO. You no the Navy you have lived it your entire life this types of changes should be nothing new to you.
Remember he called you first as you stated so that tells me he is doing ALOT of thinking about the family which is VERY GOOD!! Always look for the baby steps he just took another...
Find a calm spot and stay your path say a prayer and then focus, it's gonna be okay trust in yourself and the man above us...
Bro
Bro--
No, I am good and thanks for the support. I am breathing and calm, just upset. I would have been upset even if things were good between us. Part of being a Navy wife and I am good at that.
He is thinking and will do a lot more under the circumstances.
Sis
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Wow! I'm still thinking that this may be a positive...no more eggshells this week for any of you...and a chance to get on with one of the things you do best...writing the letters and winning his heart through those!
I definitely think he got your point about the kids getting shortchanged, and I'm certain he's regretting at least some of his week last week (maybe all of it). I think that will bode well for your cause! Continue to be as upbeat and supportive as you can. I agree that it's okay to act disappointed...what wife wouldn't be. But, make sure you leave him with a smile on your face.
As for the nightie, I think there's still time...just after the kids go to bed. I don't know about anyone else, but I think he's not tried because of the guilt he feels and the possibility that you might just be soooo disgusted with him that you wouldn't be receptive.
My friend told me just this morning, that people expect others to act a certain way based on their own limitations. For example, she believes that my H won't even try to come back until I convince him (through actions mind you) that I could forgive him. In his (limited) view of the world, he's committed the unforgivable sin, and he can't imagine that I could ever get over it. He can't understand that I'm not the same person he is, and that God will help me "get over it."
There's some truth in those words. I think you should at least open the door for your H on the physical side...that way he'll know you are open to it, and that will give him more to think about while he's away. If he doesn't bite, that's okay...it's not about you, it's about him! But, remember, they don't necessarily take hints sooo good...you might have to be quite forward!
Keep on keeping on...it's what you do best and what inspires the rest of us!!!
Amy
p.s. By the way, M, I'm a War Eagle all the way!!! In fact, my mom and dad still live in Auburn! Sorry!!!
Amy, my little sister (and I like you better than the biological one!)
I am going with the plan--woest he can do is say no and get on the boat, right--well heck he was getting on the boat anyway! The door will be open for him to step through.
The letter is not done, so will be the first thing he gets in the mail--along with a care package of his favorite treats. If I am really lucky, the ship will pull back in and I wil lbe able to hand him that stuff before he leaves.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Lord I ask you to consider my entreaty for my sister. Lord, if it is your will, let this be the very day that the scales fall from the eyes of your son and he looks at his beautiful children and his beautiful wife that loves him unconditionally despite his many mistakes and missteps.
Lord, if this is not your plan for today, then let this be the day that he cements in his mind just how much he has at stake and makes him want to work toward that point. Let him reach out and hold this woman in his arms and feel the love that only she can offer.
I ask this Lord, in your name, for all glory and exultation to you and for your view of marriage as the sanctified relationship of two becoming one. What God has joined together, let no man tear it asunder.
Amen.
Now, Laura, go find the sexiest baby doll nightie you have and be sure he sees you in it. Just look at him very quietly and with love. And then pray. I am.
KellyJo that is beautiful--thank you so much. Now I need to go fix my make-up, but it was worth it.
Nightie is taken care of. Prayers are unceasing.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I have to look up that book my h has. It would be a good one to send him in a care package.
You go, girl. I don't know a sailor that wants to ship out without any kind of loving. Not sure what will happen tonight, but I know what I am praying for to happen.
God is good.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Just dropping in with a hug! I'm sorry about the lost time with him, but agree that it might end up being positive (at least, a little bit).
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
