Amen to that! I don't have Laura's faith, so I'm amazed by it. I think she had shown unconditional love in a way that has God smiling down on her. She told me this morning that she'll be reading Job today...that's just what we all need to be doing!!!
SMW, you hang in there. God will reward you for your efforts...maybe not in the time or the way you'd like, but in a way that will make everything you've done worthwhile! That much I know!!!
Amy
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
The next step is a prayer. My girlfriend has laid out the table for him and said Grace. He has to go the next step and she knows it. I expect that she knows how to use non-verbal communication as well as anybody.
Right now the choice and next steps are his. She is the ultimate DB Queen and I am humbled to even know her.
Yes he has it all right now. That isn't in dispute. Her goal is in sight. She won't push the next step.
And I give a might sigh of relief here and give it over to God.
and your girlfriend knows why I asked the question too.
L knows me, she knows I'm not rocking the boat. Please don't assume that I am.
Hey I'm all for the God to touch his heart. I hope it happens.
He and I got into it about her repeatedly through Feb. and March. Him ignoring the pain of our oldest over his affair was what made me finally ask him to leave. I have not discussed her with him, outside of counseling, since May, when he opted to ignore the kids for an entire week.
He leaves in less than a week. Rocking the boat and forcing a confrontation now, after him having just spent a week with her with no pressure or stress--at least as far as I know-- serves me no good. He will leave her with many memories of positives from thsi entire week. We are taking the kids, together, to an amusement park on Saturday. I will continue to display the unconditional love I have for him and make hoem the most attractive option.
He is struggling today. He looked near tears out back a bit ago. He is laying down now. I sat outside, across the picnic table from him, with my eyes closed--enjoying the warmth of the sun on my face and praying the entire time that God would remove teh scales from his eyes, soften his heart, adn convict him of his choices. When I opened my eyes once and looked over at him, I could see him fighting tears. After 15 years, I know that face for sure.
I can do this, I HAVE to do this. God has given me way to many signs. made His promise clear.
Thank you all for everything you are doing to support me right now. The prayers are the most important, as you all know, but just knowing you have my back helps, too!!
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I think you are right, anything you do right now would work against you. I think your best chance is that he does some soul searching while he is gone. You have shown him that you can forgive him, but he is going to need time to believe that. And then he is going to need to forgive himeself. He'll also need to admit to himself that he has been wrong. That is a tough one. Maybe the hardest part. Pride is a real challenge. I'm sorry!
He and I got into it about her repeatedly through Feb. and March. Him ignoring the pain of our oldest over his affair was what made me finally ask him to leave. I have not discussed her with him, outside of counseling, since May, when he opted to ignore the kids for an entire week.
He leaves in less than a week. Rocking the boat and forcing a confrontation now, after him having just spent a week with her with no pressure or stress--at least as far as I know-- serves me no good. He will leave her with many memories of positives from thsi entire week. We are taking the kids, together, to an amusement park on Saturday. I will continue to display the unconditional love I have for him and make hoem the most attractive option.
He is struggling today. He looked near tears out back a bit ago. He is laying down now. I sat outside, across the picnic table from him, with my eyes closed--enjoying the warmth of the sun on my face and praying the entire time that God would remove teh scales from his eyes, soften his heart, adn convict him of his choices. When I opened my eyes once and looked over at him, I could see him fighting tears. After 15 years, I know that face for sure.
I can do this, I HAVE to do this. God has given me way to many signs. made His promise clear.
Thank you all for everything you are doing to support me right now. The prayers are the most important, as you all know, but just knowing you have my back helps, too!!
SMW
hey that's all I wanted to know..
I was not advocating anything. I wondered where you where at.
The next step is a prayer. My girlfriend has laid out the table for him and said Grace. He has to go the next step and she knows it. I expect that she knows how to use non-verbal communication as well as anybody.
Right now the choice and next steps are his. She is the ultimate DB Queen and I am humbled to even know her.
Yes he has it all right now. That isn't in dispute. Her goal is in sight. She won't push the next step.
And I give a might sigh of relief here and give it over to God.
and your girlfriend knows why I asked the question too.
L knows me, she knows I'm not rocking the boat. Please don't assume that I am.
Hey I'm all for the God to touch his heart. I hope it happens.
Quote:
She won't push the next step.
that's why I asked HER, what HER next step was?
Whoah, no assumptions or anything negative toward you at all M. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so brisk. (Maybe that's why I have M problems? LOL)
I was just worried about her losing focus. We are as impatient to see him take the step toward as she is to see it happen.
I apologize for the snap statements. I think the fighting back tears is a good thing. She is so amazing to me.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
He will leave her with many memories of positives from thsi entire week.
you really don't know this. that is just an assumption.
IMHO, he didn't have a great time. that's why he's acting weird.
I'm glad to see you still fighting and still putting your faith in God. You are 100% right in what you have to do. don't change anything. well, except for the part about giving him a kiss before he leaves.
After he leaves, he won't be able to "cake-eat" because he'll be gone, and in my opinion, even though he's getting the best of both worlds-so they say- he's not thinking to himself, hahaha I have this W whos doing everything for me, and a mistress on the side, life is great! no, that is NOT what he is thinking. He's still in torment from the decisions he's made, and the decisions he needs to make. Remember, he has to break another R, which will cause more guilt, so it's not going to happen just like that.
okay, true, I am speculating also, but, I give myself that authority. hahaha
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
The next step is a prayer. My girlfriend has laid out the table for him and said Grace. He has to go the next step and she knows it. I expect that she knows how to use non-verbal communication as well as anybody.
Right now the choice and next steps are his. She is the ultimate DB Queen and I am humbled to even know her.
Yes he has it all right now. That isn't in dispute. Her goal is in sight. She won't push the next step.
And I give a might sigh of relief here and give it over to God.
and your girlfriend knows why I asked the question too.
L knows me, she knows I'm not rocking the boat. Please don't assume that I am.
Hey I'm all for the God to touch his heart. I hope it happens.
Quote:
She won't push the next step.
that's why I asked HER, what HER next step was?
Whoah, no assumptions or anything negative toward you at all M. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so brisk. (Maybe that's why I have M problems? LOL)
I was just worried about her losing focus. We are as impatient to see him take the step toward as she is to see it happen.
I apologize for the snap statements. I think the fighting back tears is a good thing. She is so amazing to me.
Kelly Jo, I will accept your apology.
I'm not going to explain why I asked the question. I'll tell SMW when I talk to her.
I took offense because you did the same thing to me on Arthur's thread some time back. I let that go. You swung some wood, I swung some back.
It was pretty simple and straight forward, everyone who is here knows me, they know how I'm wired, they know I'm straight forward, to the point and most of the time brutally honest.
and that is the way I am wired.
.. 2 questions I ask SMW. She answered both.
I'm good, hope your good. Hope SMW is good.
and by the way. She is amazing. She has DB'd her M to perfection.
I got your message. I did not have your number in my cell so I was unable to return your call. I am home now.
You need to understand, this is not about what I approve or disapprove of. Your methods are your methods. Your living your sitch, I'm reading about it. I'm not in it.
This should be all about you. Db'ing is about you. Not him, not OW, not saving your M.
I'm behind you 100% whatever path you take.
You wanted a man's perspective then I will give you that straight up and to the point. You know me. I speak like I post.
You can ask Brian. He and I have talked a lot and I'm sure I've said things he did not want to hear.
Phones are on. I'll listen, I'll talk from my experiences but I won't tell you what your next step should be..
[quote=SMW]He will leave her with many memories of positives from thsi entire week.[/quote]This Should have read " He will leave HERE with many positives of this entire week. NOT HER!!!
you really don't know this. that is just an assumption.
IMHO, he didn't have a great time. that's why he's acting weird.
I'm glad to see you still fighting and still putting your faith in God. You are 100% right in what you have to do. don't change anything. well, except for the part about giving him a kiss before he leaves.
After he leaves, he won't be able to "cake-eat" because he'll be gone, and in my opinion, even though he's getting the best of both worlds-so they say- he's not thinking to himself, hahaha I have this W whos doing everything for me, and a mistress on the side, life is great! no, that is NOT what he is thinking. He's still in torment from the decisions he's made, and the decisions he needs to make. Remember, he has to break another R, which will cause more guilt, so it's not going to happen just like that.
okay, true, I am speculating also, but, I give myself that authority. hahaha
take what ever liberties you want, Crissy! LOl
He jsut went over my mom's to cut down a tree for her. Said he will be back soon for dinner.
I went and picked up a cake for him for his B'day. Got him a card, too.
It says:
For my Husband--
On your birthday, which would you prefer: 1. Sex 2. Cake 3. Card
On the inside it says:
Oh, I see you chose the card. Well, better luck next year.
I figure,when I give him the cake, I will say, well, two out of three ain't bad.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
