Guess then between the 2 of them maybe they can put me back together, the only thing we would need is some light bulbs and I could be a walking neon bill board with all of the wood in my head...LOL
I personally refuse to follow a sport where they have no fricken clue how to turn Right. Any old joe schmoe can make a left turn for pities sake. Turn right guys, turn right........
Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart, Dale Jr..... they're all the same. It's driving a car gang you can do it legally at 14 in Kansas for pities sake and they let girls do it......
Just dropping by to wish you a good morning and realized you have not been here since yesterday afternoon. Did Mike and Ian get to you? Hope all is well and you are busy GAL.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
So yesterday started out to be a good day lots of good back n forth bantering here on the board. PMA was at a good level no imparticular reason just a good general mood.
After lunch W emailed me to let me know where the kiddo's were in relation to when they would be home from their vacation. Been 10 long days since seeing them. Well I then am reminded of just real this journey is and how long there is too go. The emails turned very one sided she basically telling me how much she has missed them, never once stopping to think of me & my feelings, I put a few things out there but they paled in the comparison to W. I chose not to continue down 'her' road and let her rant on.
She informed me that she was living work at 3:30 to I guess go home and clean-up I didn't ask she didn't offer the info just figured. Well about 4:45 she sent a text saying where they were and that she just got outta the shower and was so excited to see them and that she was going to take them to dinner. I throughout this was being a good boy validating & told her the dinner was a good idea.
So I am reminded how long this journey is, by the happenings of yesterday. I too have missed my kids deeply, but because they live with her I lose out she gets to hear all the exciting news while it's still fresh, she got the oh so precious 'we just got home' hugs, she got all of the fresh 'I love you's'. By the time I get to see my kids it will be like reheating left-overs never tastes the same.
So I am reminded how long this journey is and just how selfish W is still, I thought we were a bit closer in that she might have invited me to at least go to dinner with them. I knew in the back of my mind though that was too much to hope for. So I settled for the good ole' phone call and told them we would get together sometime later and they could fill me in with the reheated left-overs.(I didn't say that to them).
So as I was workingout I tried to put my finger on just how I was feeling about it. Wasn't angry. Wasn't happy that they were home cause they weren't at their real home. I finally decided that I was jealous not to the extreme of green with envy just jealous. I finished a good hard workout and decided it was okay to feel that way I have never let myself be jealous of anything kind of a different feeling...
These feelings of the moment to shall pass. Don't dwell with the jealous type feelings. They are only ok if they are short-lived.
Do the act-as-if thing when it comes to the interactions with the W and your D's. Be upbeat and sociable (sp?) even if you are fighting against the current that seems to want to pull you in a different and worse direction. If you make yourself appealing and attractive tot he rest of your family, they will really want to be including you as they should be. Sometimes we aren't even aware of the negative energies that we are putting out there. I don't know if this applies to you now or not. But, food for thought anyway.
Take care ..... of all those splinter wounds to the head. Fight on Christian soldier.
You are not leftovers and you are not getting leftovers! I am sorry that you did not have a good evening. Sounds like you tackled it and are moving forward, though. Good for you!!
You know, I see the difference in attitudes between WAS and LBS clearer everyday. For example, our youngest daughter will be starting school this year. I am sad about the fact that H will not be here to see her leave for school or put her to bed the night before. However, unlike a WAS, I will open the door for him to be here if he wants to be.
You guys have still madea lot of steps in the right direction, do not beat yourself up. She is still in a selfish phase. With how bad she was spinning while they were gone, I guess it is to be expected that she was desperate for their undivided attention.
Brush it off and get your PMA back. You have been doing great there and I do not want you to lose it.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Thanks for stopping, not dwelling no time for that was just an interesting feeling to experience. I will admit probably came across a bit negative at times conversing with W yesterday, it wasn't intentionally, just have been validating & helping her through this with them being gone.
That was the only analogy I could think of at that moment. Honestly there will be that certain 'snap' to their trip when they & I get together in about a week that will be gone, and with kids their excitement level will only stay peaked so long before it becomes just a memory. A good friend suggested to me last night to ask the W if I could just have a day out of the rotation, this is a great idea and will pose it to her.
It's like some people were talking on Mike's post about the things that will be missed the 'firsts', to really experience that feeling first hand yesterday well it sucked. School good point, that is something that is a 'first' never to happen again, like my D11 it's her 'first' year in middle school, so I can totally understand where you are at with your D just starting that is so cool I remember both of my girls 'firsts' days of school...this is exactly my point, this is what is forgotten about oh the selfishness of it all...
I agree have made some good steps forward, and it will be about her for awhile longer I had told you guys this would be difficult on her as with most mom's so that is why I made a choice to make it all about her and her feelings so I enabled her abit and not to think of my feelings by helping her through this so kinda responsible for my own position and feeling the way I do.
I was good by the time I went to bed, was tired had a quick chat with the man upstairs and then tossed & turned most of the night, but I had it too hot in the house so my bad on that but all is good today so far.
