will hint about starting a family again will want to do more things together again will tell me everything she is thinking about (feelings too) will tell her friends she had a change of heart will want to be affectionate again (hold hand, kiss ) will talk openly about our future, saving our R will compiment me again
we will be as happy as i know we can be..
I will always remind myself how lucky and how happy i am... and continue working on ME
Goals I want to pause before every response to W to ensure my words are not about me nor hurtful I want to make my changes permanent I want to maintain faith, hope and trust that the end-state will be happiness, regardless of what happens to M I want to keep my family as the focus of every action I take I want to be positive in every encounter with W while we are on this journey I want to listen more, talk less, and be compassionate and understanding I want to find forgiveness for this situation within myself and God, and from W. I want W to understand that my 180s are for me, to improve as a person and not to feel that I am overcompensating for past damages. I want W to ask how my day/GAL time etc… was I want W to display acts of caring and kindness to me I want W to eat at the dinner table with me and the kids I want W to engage in small talk with me I want W and I to be able to talk about where are kids are in their lives I want W to continue to ask for assistance with things I want W to see counselor again I want W to come along with me and the kids for a family outing I want W to meet me for dinner/coffee to chat I want W to not move out I want W to agree to work on marriage I want W to begin wearing rings again I want W to attend planned summer trip (too soon maybe) I would like to re-contract our marriage I would like W to agree to attend a Retrouvaille weekend I would like W to agree to attend a Marriage Encounter weekend I want us effectively communicate as a couple I want to establish a division of household and childcare responsibility that is in tune with our individual needs I want to establish time each day/week/month that is alone time for just us, to talk, laugh, understand, communicate.
Me 34 W 33 D 4 S 2 M 5 T 8 Bomb 6/17/08 Served 7/17/08 I hate Tuesdays! Current Thread
H will show some tenderness outside bedroom. H will want to wear ring again. H will want to go to MC together. H will say 'i love you'.
and goals for me to work on: i will not talk about OR or OW i will not talk about our M unless H initiates discussion I will do some regular physical activity: riding, jogging or gymnastics at least once/week, preferably 3x/week I will keep a solution journal so i can record what works and what doesn't I will strive to actively LISTEN to what H is saying I will pause before each response to my husband so that i don't sound aggressive nor 'feminist' I will write down my current professional opportunities with pros/cons so that i can discuss them with H and we can agree together on best option for me and for the family
Me49-WAW H46 T25 S17D14S10 Sep.jan08,PA,back Apr08,H PA Dec08,end09 New Thread
My husband and I went to Retrouvaille, but not Marriage Encounter. Retrouvaille was an incredible experience, and changed our lives for the better. I did hear some people say that they had tried Marriage Encounter, but that it was more for newlyweds, not for people having severe problems. Retrouvaille is the choice for a marriage on the brink of divorce.
1. He will come over and show some sign of affection. 2. He will start to say and act like he might be considering reconcilliation. 3. He will follow through with when he says we will go do something together, instead of constantly changing his mind.
1)H will show cautious optimism, and mention at least once that he wants the M to work 2)H will tell me that he misses me, meaning that I will not pursue and will give him the chance to miss me 3)H will show physical affection 4)H will agree to still go on the trip we have planned in September 5)H will agree to session in Boulder with Michele 6)I will keep exercising on an almost daily basis 7)I will invest extra time into my job as I have been neglecting it 8)I will take Polish lessons while in Poland, and really try to immerse myself in the local culture 9)I will train for a marathon or other serious sporting activity
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
