I just wanted to let you know that you will be in my prayers...I'm not very good at it, but I try...
Try to find some way to relax....I know it is extremely difficult.....but it will help tons. Most of us have been where you are in emotions, I was in it several months before I found DB. I found DB to give me a sense of empowerment....like I coul dmake a difference in my M by myself whether my W wanted to or not. If you look at it from that perspective then it might give you some hope and help you relax
((((hugs)))))
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
Please note I edited your phone number from Wifey's thread.
You are new and in a stressful situation, so I didn't want to shock you but the fully prescribed edit is as follows:
EDITED - email addresses are NOT ALLOWED. You must comply with the Divorcebusting.com: Board Rules if you would like to continue the privilege of posting here.
Please do not post such information again -- I want you to stick around!!!!
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Found you, Suzanne. I'm holding your hand, girl. I know the pain; I feel it twice for you. I was honored that you wondered where I was.
I had IC last night. Good session. Catch up on my thread. Can't post much because I'm busy at work today. I think my C's words would have meaning for you, though. I'll try to get here early tomorrow so I can catch up with everyone.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Just a short note to let you know I'm still alive and kickin' (not kickin' too hard right now). I'm at work (who would'a thunk it?) Don't really know how I accomplished all the moving and loading and unloading, and talk with my atty, and talk with neighbor (more later on that).But I did, somehow, but did a really lousy job of it. (more later). H called yesterday afternoon and left message to "see if I was home and what to do about the dog?") I was home but didn't pick up. He called again at 7 p.m. but no message.
It's lunchtime. I wanted to tell you something veeeerrrrry interesting that I learned last night. I actually had a long convo with a neighber (naming her Lisa). She told me something about my H that I did not know.
Now, I know Jack-three-beans would say to this -- "don't analyse" -- but ya know what? I think this is significant and would like any possible input about it that I can get.
Lisa is married to (Mike) and they would talk to us, mostly H across the fence sometimes. Actually, I'm talking a period of about seven or eight years here. Anyway, when I told Lisa that H admitted to having lap dances, last year, she was shocked and found it unbelievable.
The thing of it, is, that I always just took her statement with a grain of salt and just "agreed" with her. But then last night during our convo, she revealed to me that "...in all the years I've even known him, he never once looked me in the eyes." She said she just took it as he was extremely shy. But then she said, and this is the part that gets me -- she said she wondered, "how could he go and do stuff like that, and he can't even look his own neighber in the eyes, for cripes sake?"
I'm floored, and confused. Does anyone have any input on this one?
Here is the update on the attys convo. My atty, calling her carol, and his atty, calling her mia, talked yesterday. Carol told me that Mia was "...at first, adament about him wanting the D as quickly as possible." Carol then told Mia that "it would be in his best interest to do it her way, because it could potentially save him a lot of money."
So, as it stands now, his atty. will get back to mine as soon as she presents the proposal, which I'm sure she allready did, yesterday. He did not mention anything in his voicemail yesterday, so I'm still waiting. I have not heard from him today and I did not call him.
There is still more...later.
s Oh, I forgot to mention that 'saving money' could be a BIG incentive.
I'm not sure I understand her shock. Does she think shy men don't go to strip clubs? Or guys who aren't smooth at dealing with women? Why does she think these places exist in the first place?
Personally, I visited the local place a couple of times and just found it deeply awkward. I haven't been back in years. But I can easily see how a man could reach the point where it seemed like a good idea. A stripper keeps her judgments to herself. She doesn't tell you that you aren't good enough, she doesn't complain about you, and she doesn't nag you. She is not disappointed with the way you look or the way you dress (well, she does not express disappointment.) She isn't testing you. The exchange is clear; you give her this much money, and she does X, Y and Z for you. It's not particularly satisfying, but it's not fake. She can't be pretending to be in love with you, because she doesn't claim to be. She isn't trying to fool you or shame you or make you feel guilty.
Of course, she's not doing any of that because she doesn't care. You're nothing to her. But how many men are there who suspect that they're nothing to ANY women, especially their wives? For them and from their point of view, being nothing to a stripper is just like being nothing to your neighbor or your wife, except that the stripper doesn't have to lie about it.
