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Journal...

In my mind if I take the lyrics of that song and break it down this is what I come up with:

The song 'Broken'

It's telling me that there are years of pain and hurt piled on top of everything else that she and I call our M. It is telling me that she is 'Broken' from just not me but the past and she needs time to figure out how to separate all of it. It is saying she needs my help and understanding, but not to fix it for her.

It's saying don't leave me I do care and need you, but just to let go. Don't go far and don't be hurt this is not about you it is about me. I realize I may lose you I hope I don't, but please just let go.

It's telling me that she is tired of hurting and crying and being lost. It's telling me she know's it is hurting all of us but this has to happen to go on that she needs to grow to be able to be what she feels she has lost and not done well.

I don't think I should not tell her about reading the lyrics, it might be best to not only show her but tell her also I do understand and that I am there.

Just my thoughts...

Brian


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Brian, let me make a suggestion and do with it as you wish.

Get your wife a card, something simple with no love quotes in it. More along the lines of a friendship card. Inside write her a note, something along the lines of:

XXX, I read the lyrics to the song you told me about and I think I understand. I just want you to find yourself again and be happy. I will support you in whatever way you need me to in order to help you find your way. Part of who we are, our core is caring about each others well being and it is important to me that you find your happiness.

Simple, to the point, shows you listened, and takes the pressure off of her about you. This is the part of your marriage where you get to sacrifice what you think you need and what you think you want and show your wife just how much love you have in your heart for her. The day you know you love your wife, is the day that you recognize that her happiness, even if it is without you, is the most important thing in the world to you.


Ian


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

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Brian, i think your translation is right on. I think that probably holds true for a lot of WAWs or almost WAWs.

I agree with Ian on telling her though. She told you specifically about that song because she wanted you to know. I think if you don't let her know you figured it out, that she'll wonder if you really got it. She didn't just toss it out there lightly, it was her way of finding the words she obviously couldn't say to you. Sending her a card or writing a note will let her know that you understand and will be there when she needs you.

you are doing good!! \:\)

ann


If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown

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Originally Posted By: sofaraway
Brian, let me make a suggestion and do with it as you wish.

Get your wife a card, something simple with no love quotes in it. More along the lines of a friendship card. Inside write her a note, something along the lines of:

XXX, I read the lyrics to the song you told me about and I think I understand. I just want you to find yourself again and be happy. I will support you in whatever way you need me to in order to help you find your way. Part of who we are, our core is caring about each others well being and it is important to me that you find your happiness.

Simple, to the point, shows you listened, and takes the pressure off of her about you. This is the part of your marriage where you get to sacrifice what you think you need and what you think you want and show your wife just how much love you have in your heart for her. The day you know you love your wife, is the day that you recognize that her happiness, even if it is without you, is the most important thing in the world to you.


Ian


Brian,

Old thread locker has given you a good suggestion.

Take him up on it.

****hijack****

Ian. Lodo stole the first drink because you weren't ready. Brian, I only gave you "squirt" because you type too slow, if you had gotten the "jack" your reaction time would have been even slower..so I was just lookin out for you..

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Originally Posted By: sofaraway
Brian, let me make a suggestion and do with it as you wish.

Get your wife a card, something simple with no love quotes in it. More along the lines of a friendship card. Inside write her a note, something along the lines of:

XXX, I read the lyrics to the song you told me about and I think I understand. I just want you to find yourself again and be happy. I will support you in whatever way you need me to in order to help you find your way. Part of who we are, our core is caring about each others well being and it is important to me that you find your happiness.

Simple, to the point, shows you listened, and takes the pressure off of her about you. This is the part of your marriage where you get to sacrifice what you think you need and what you think you want and show your wife just how much love you have in your heart for her. The day you know you love your wife, is the day that you recognize that her happiness, even if it is without you, is the most important thing in the world to you.


Ian


Ian...

I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head with what I was thinking of saying, I like the card idea sounds like the way to go instead of getting into a actual conversation 1 to 1.

Thanks

Brian


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ann..

I appreciate the insight of a female and I'm glad I could of my
DAM glasses and break it down pretty close to it's meaning.

Obviously she felt it was the closest thing to the way she is feeling and let me know that, she has never said anything similar to comparing a song to her feelings so I think she was reaching out with it. I hear you I think I have to reach out back to her and let her know.

Brian


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Brian

just wanted to say that you are doing great!! \:\) I hope one of these days my H will take off his glasses and figure it out too.

ann


If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown

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Brian..

What a gift.

You're making it safe enough for her to keep revealing what scares her the most about herself.

It's that trust thing.

You're wonderful.

*hugs*

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Brian, did she see the L about the financial stuff?

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Hey Mike...

No she postponed it till Thursday. She is kinda gettin all caught up in it and turnin abit cold. She goes from tellin me today that at least we can just start over to only referring to the future with just D's. She has alot of different things going on in her mind right now I think. Mad at me, mad at herself, wanting to run further away from it all so confused right now I feel sad for her.

Brian


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Seperated: 05/17/08
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