Between the Devil and the Deep

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

So my run upstairs for a drink turned into laying down on the sofa and falling asleep for several hours. I woke up at 3:45 am and just wanted to go to bed, where I could sleep comfortably.

I need to feed the kids and then I will come back. Good Morning everyone, the coffeee is fresh and there are bagels and danish on the counter!

SMW

[Kalni]

Thanks Hon !!!!!
I am helping myself, hope you don't mind...
K

[Tomato]

Hi SMW

I am pretty exhausted. The emotional strain and my slaving away on my car repairs instead of sleeping is really taking it's toll on me. Just wanted to say thanks for your friendship. It means a lot. Well, I need to go get that rest that I am so in need of. Satan prefers it when we are tired and can't think straight and discern his evil intentions. So off to bed I go. Keep turning your worries and troubles over to the Lord and be prayerful. Good night.

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

I was so busy outside yesterday that I really did not make it in here at all. I got all the hedges trimmed, the neglected flower beds weeded and cleaned out, all the edging done, powerwashed the porch, and vlew all the shreds off the driveway. After I took a shower, I fell asleep for a bit with a horrid headache from the sun--thank goodness for D16 to watch the other kids--she actually told me to lay down.

I am in veg mode today and tomorrow will tackle the backyard and mow. I may go out in the pool for a bit, too.

I will try to post some other thoughts later. I have not emailed H yet and have not heard from him, either. There may be a possibility that the email system is down on the ship, too. I am not sure and am trying to find out from some friends whose Hs are also on the ship.

Smooches!

SMW

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

{{{{{T}}}}}

I know what you mean about Satan taking advantage of us being tired. Your situation has imploded a bit the past couple of days. Rest in the strength of the Lord, my friend, and allow him to offer you the rest and comfort you are seeking.

The appreciation is mutual, rest assured in that.

SMW

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

I did not really do anything today, and yet I am exhausted!

I was wondering how much truth is there to someone using their preferred LL to express their feelings to their spouse? IF that is the case, I would have to say that my H's LL is a tie between Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation. He always praised me in everything I did and would do anything to help out around the house.

Also, I had a thought today. When H was home at Christmas time to visit, he went out of his way to buy my Valentine's Day present before he flew back to MI on New Year's Day. He was already a month into his PA, two months into the EA aspect. Why did he bother, when in the past he has left the shopping to the last minute? By the way, I still have not opened it--it is sitting up in my closet. I was too upset to open it on V Day and too hurt still to open it when H got home.

I am having a hard time writing this email to H. Not that I do not want to do it, but that I find myself slipping into endearments and making assumptions about the future. It is something I was afraid of--that acting as if would become my reality, especially with him gone on deployment. It is easier to do now that we do not have continual contact. AARRGGHHH!!! I am so confused!

I keep handing the situation over to God but them go and retrieve it again to mll and ponder over more. I have also learned a valuable prayer lesson. God loves to test. When asking for help with something, be prepared for him to give you a way to exhibit that behavior, ratherr than just granting it! I asked for patience to deal with my kids and God has put me in many situations in the past couple weeks that force me to stretch the limits of what was my prior patience level. For example, today D5 and D8 were throwing blueberries into the hanging light in the dining room! IF that isn't geared as a test of patience, I do not know what is!!


I am going to bed and I will be up early in the morning. Night all and turn off the lights when you leave.

SMW

[stella_k]

Hi ((((((((SMW)))))))))!

Also, I had a thought today. When H was home at Christmas time to visit, he went out of his way to buy my Valentine's Day present before he flew back to MI on New Year's Day. He was already a month into his PA, two months into the EA aspect. Why did he bother, when in the past he has left the shopping to the last minute? By the way, I still have not opened it--it is sitting up in my closet. I was too upset to open it on V Day and too hurt still to open it when H got home.

I don't know the answer, SMW, but my H has done the same thing, well, nearly the same. He came for Christmas with his present - a video camera, gorgeous, the one I always wanted - ready for me, something totally out of character. And he kept showering me with presents - not the the lovely thoughtful things I'm so used to, but expensive Gifts - throughout his PA. I hated these gifts with passion (even the camera!). May be as guilt creeps up on them, they are trying to "make it up" to us with presents? Silly DAM!

Anyway, SMW, I hope you feel better today. Today is another day!
BTW, you know - I love you, but I just had to laugh when I've read about blueberries!
((((((Hugs)))))) to you and your little ones.

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

Good Morning Stella! --well, almost afternoon.

I have been going since I got up. I am getting ready to do some sewing and had to go digging through the garage disaster to find the totes of fabric I moved from Michigan. HHMMMM found the box of wallpaper border, too, so that may also get done.

I have to beg my mom to come give me a hand, but I want to get some things done by next week, as the ship may be pulling in for two days, then pulling back out for a week. I want to keep up my GAL and I like to sew. Besides, he has complained in the past about my hobbies and how I get into them and then desert them. I will be starting to quilt again, too, but will wait on that until the kids go back to school.

I agree we never know why a DAM does what he does.

I am starting to get antsy about his promotion, too. We will find out sometime in the next two weeks if he was selected for advancement. If he is, it is big deal with a six week induction period and a big ceremony at the end. Prior to this mess, his dad and I were going to be the ones to pin him. My FIL said that WILL not change and he wil bring his son to Jesus to make sure he does the right thing. H has not told anyone on the ship that we are even separated, so I do not know how he could avoid having me and the kids at the ceremony. I do not want to even think about it too much until we know for sure. I get upset thinking about missing something that is so important and was always a goal we were working toward together.

Off to the preschool. I will be back in tonight.

SMW

[Tomato]

Hi SMW

Glad to hear you are getting so much done. I am trying to push myself to get motivated to accomplish some things too. It is a pretty quiet existence for me now with no contact from either my darling or DD15. I will have to try to find the good in it. As you and I both know, the Lord always places his Goodness in everything. It is for us to discover it when it seems to be hiding.

Be Holy Spirit driven.

[Kalni]

Hi Hon!!
You are keeping busy aren't you? With 4 kids and school I am amazed you even find time to do all these things and post here on top of everything...

Keep your strength intact (sp?). Hang in there. I know you are hurting, it will be fine in the end, you'll see. If you have to think about your sitch, think of happy endings, your dream, nice future moments, put your energy to work for the good, not for the bad. Dwelling over the past won't help you. DAMS act strangely when carrying guilt... Don't try to explain, focus on what you can do now.
Love
K