Tuesday, I was running around all day long. I got up, took D5 to camp, came back and made breakfast, had an IC appointment, got home in enough ime to go to the bathroom, picked D5 up from camp, took a Pampered Chef catalog to a friend, picked up Krispy Kreme, and stopped by another store for bread. I got home at 10 minutes to 2. I was changing S2, when I hear a tap on the front door, it opens, and H yells hello upthe stairs. Needless to say, since I did not know he was coming, I was a little, no scratch that ALOT flustered.
H was in the process of renewing his security clearance and needed his birth certificate. He also wanted to know if I could help him come up with five references that "we" have known for at least 7 years. The spiteful part of me wanted to say--Guess the OW could not help with that, huh? BUT I bit my tongue, silently rebuked myself, and started looking for my keys to the file cabinet to get his birth certificate out. While we were doing that, I rattled off five quick references and made some calls to get full addresses for them.
H said he wished he could log in from here to finish his forms, but was sure he could not. Said he would bring back his birth certificate and letter of naturalization when he came over on Thursday, that they would be safer here with me. Again, I ahd to bite my tongue, chastise my self, and pray to God to be still. I told him that was fine.
On Sunday, while BIL and SIL were still here, we decided to have a family dinner on Thursday, they would join me, H, and the kids so we could hang out before H left. I reminded H of that. I also asked if there was paperwork he could get me to get D16 a new ID card. H said, "damn I forgot to take her out there!" He called the base, got the hours for the ID office, and made plans to pick D16 up after tutoring to take her out for it. All told, H was here for about an hour and a half--even though it only took us about 15 minutes to take care of what he needed. He talked about nothing in particular, jsut a few things about the deployment, etc.
And that brings us up to tonight!
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I know I bounced in and out throughtout the day, so you know about all the things I was doing around the house.
H and D16 got back and I was pretty much done with all the early prep for dinner. H got his trunks on and went out back with the little kids. When I went out for a cigarette, H got out of the pool and sat with me. He asked when BIL and SIL were coming over, I told him I expected them at any time. I sat for a few more minutes, then headed back inside. H asked if I needed any help, I told him no--enjoy the time with the kids.
SIL and BIL showed up and SIL came upstairs in the kitchen to chat with me while I finished everything up. Two of D16's friends showed up and they came up to say hi, too. Her guy friend is so funny--he is a huge flirt and keeps telling me when I finally come to my senses about H, he will be waiting for me. He started setting the table and asked was there anything he could do to help, as he is pulling serving dishes out of my hands. I love this kid!!
Dinner was great, with BIL, SIL AND H all talking about how good everything was. Told H I wanted to make sure he had a decent meal before he had to live on boat food for three weeks straight. Said he appreciated it and everything was delicious. He leped clear the table, made us both a cup of coffee and carried mine downstairs for me--I hate to walk down the stairs carrying a coffee cup and I do not know why! We all sat outside, talked about the chief's results coming out soon, the tensions with Iran in the Gulf, adn any number of other things. Apparently there is an English carrier that is going to play war games with them this coming week. H and his brother were talking about all the English sailors running around the base.
H mentioned he did not want to leave too late, I told him no, that was fine, but I did want to give the kids their baths and get them to bed before we did, so D16 did not have to deal with it. He said that was fine, he just meant he wanted to get out to the base well before midnight. He just kind of laid and watched TV with the little kids for a bit, while I sat on the sofa and watched him.
I asked H if he wanted to give the kids their baths and he said yes--and acted like I was giving him a huge gift. He fed them dessert, gave them baths, and sent them down to give me goodnight kisses. D5 asked if we could say her prayers. I said yes, but didn't she want Daddy to hear them? She said no, he was not ready for them yet. She prays nightly for her dad to know that we love him, God loves him, that God will put the right choices in his heart and that he will come home. We said her prayers and she went back upstairs. I headed up a few minutes later to see that S2 was already crashed. H was finishing up stories with D5.
We left about 9:15 to head to the pier. H called his dad on the way out and I was glad--I was not sure what I was going to talk about on the drive. We were almost to the gate by the time H hung up. He showed me the English carrier, and pulled up in an area where we could swap out for me to drive. I got out and walked around the car. H put his carry bag over his shoulder and came over to give me a hug. He told me to take care. I told him to be safe and careful, that we would be waiting for him when he came home.
How did I do?? Do you think I put him in the right frame of mind to get on the ship for three weeks?
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
You did great! I was reading along like it was a novel. Beautiful, no pressure , you gave him his spsce with the kids, you prepared a nice meal and he reciprocated by little things like the cup of coffee. Thre nice hug and the we will be waiting for you.....very nice. I hope he uses the three weeks away to think about the relationship a little.....i bet he was thinking about it all night.
j210
I bet that 16 yr. old was also thinking about you! That has to be good for your ego. Be careful, he knows your H is away, he may make a pass at you ;-)
I hope he does think about it, even a little. He is a DAM though,so we cannot have expectations. I am glad to know that otehrs see it as no pressure. When you are sitting in the middle, it is sometimes hard to tell. I was pretty sure I succeeded on that, though, when H hugged me.
The F16 is a good kid and harmless. He and his girlfriend were still here when I got home last night. The first thing he asked was if H gave me a hug and kiss like I deserved. They are coming over today to help with yard work. I appreciate the help so much and will feed them lunch for their troubles!
I will be in later. Off to buy bagels.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
yes, you did everything beautifully - lots of understanding and love and no pressure at all, great! I LOVED that he brought you coffee, hug also sounds very nice !
Enjoy your bagels :)!
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
That hug is going to sustain me for the next three weeks! LOL
The bagels were delicious, thanks. Sitting here shelling purple-hull peas so I can freeze them. Lets me see what you guys are up to, floating through the threads, while looking productive at the same time!
LOL
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Great job HON!!! Great!!! As always, if I may say so. I missed you. I am sorry I haven't been around. This virus has been torturing me...
I hope the next 3 weeks are easy on you. I will also pray (in Greek) that your H finds himself during these 3 weeks and comes back only to make that dream of yours true... Love K
on the payment he's giving...I don't know what courts say is fair, but he's giving 28-46%. Now, I don't agree with 46, but I don't think it should be less than 28. or am I wrong on that?
Also, great job on biting your tongue those couple of times. Be thankful for him coming to you and not trying to avoid the house right?!
I think you did a great job on the goodbyes.
NOW, IMHO, I think you could actually utilize this time well. I'm hoping that your H will give you a call and give you this opportunity. IMHO, I think you need to start giving your H a idea that you are turned on by him him. I really feel that this had a good impact on my R with my H. the crazy thing, I WAS totally turned on by him (had to of been the "you want what you can't have" thing) and it was darn easy for me to act like it. I think just saying subtle things like, you know I never told you, but you looked really good out there swimming... or just anything. This was around the time when I would text sexy pics of me to my H. It was a big 180 for me, and it was showing him my confidence in myself that I had lacked for so many years.
What about you? Did you have any confidence issues in the last couple years? Did you initiate? Were you playful in a sexual/flirty way with H? I think when he comes back, it will be a good time to start that. what do you think?
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
on the payment he's giving...I don't know what courts say is fair, but he's giving 28-46%. Now, I don't agree with 46, but I don't think it should be less than 28. or am I wrong on that?
The military says I am entitled to 65% of his pay. He is paying all the household bills. He gives me almost all that is left--I just do not get where he thinks that his split is fair for the kids. I am making ends meet, it is the extras that will kill me.
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Also, great job on biting your tongue those couple of times. Be thankful for him coming to you and not trying to avoid the house right?!
I was proud of myself. I would just like to be able to get to the point that I do not have the smarta$$ comments even come into my mind. I know it will come in time, as I continue to move closer to God. H moving away from the OW and coming home will also help, I am sure.
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I think you did a great job on the goodbyes.
Glad to hear it! It felt right.
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NOW, IMHO, I think you could actually utilize this time well. I'm hoping that your H will give you a call and give you this opportunity. IMHO, I think you need to start giving your H a idea that you are turned on by him him. I really feel that this had a good impact on my R with my H. the crazy thing, I WAS totally turned on by him (had to of been the "you want what you can't have" thing) and it was darn easy for me to act like it. I think just saying subtle things like, you know I never told you, but you looked really good out there swimming... or just anything. This was around the time when I would text sexy pics of me to my H. It was a big 180 for me, and it was showing him my confidence in myself that I had lacked for so many years.
What about you? Did you have any confidence issues in the last couple years? Did you initiate? Were you playful in a sexual/flirty way with H? I think when he comes back, it will be a good time to start that. what do you think?
I hope he is able to call, but it is very possible he will not. I do not think I could pull it off via email--too much left to chance or misinterpretation. I have always had a lot of confidence in that area--at least with my husband. I am pretty good with innuendo and banter. I am not sure I am ready for it and I am feeling like H may not take it well. I guess I will have to watch and evaluate the situation as we spend time together. I keep praying for more time together--both as a family and us alone.
Thanks for the positive strokes!
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
We were almost to the gate by the time H hung up. He showed me the English carrier, and pulled up in an area where we could swap out for me to drive. I got out and walked around the car. H put his carry bag over his shoulder and came over to give me a hug. 
He told me to take care. I told him to be safe and careful, that we would be waiting for him when he came home.