you know, except for MY H, most of the time the looks or age is not a factor. It's the fact that they are getting that need that they did not get in the M. I'm not sure how my H fits in, since his OW was playboy look. Double D's thin as a pole, makeup to the hilt. well, at least I have the bootilicous peice that she doesn't! lucky for me she's got a flat butt! that's all I got on her, well, besides my character.
anyways, don't even worry about the age/looks whatever, eventually they are going to figure things out, and hopefully all you LBSers have stuck in it long enough for when they do!
SMW, I really think you are right to have urgency on this, but don't worry about the time you have. It will all come, and just do what you need to do and let things work in their own time. It might be good for H to go away and you guys write letters. My H had asked me to stay at my moms (another state) while he worked things out in his head. I was VERY hesitant to do that thinking, oh great, he'll run off to OW again, but I did it anyways living in faith. He text'd me a lot during those weeks and we talked more than we had during the whole sitch. I started sending him "sexy" pics of me and he was loving it. It was after that, that he asked me to be his wife forever.
So, this could be an opportunity as well. Just keep being the best person you can be. Your H is already seeing this, and that's why he is acting more comfortable around you.
Oh, and when I did stay at my moms, I seem to recall a period where H wasn't contact me much, but I didn't react bad I just waited, and things started happening. So don't get discouraged if your H breaks off contact for a bit, he may be really thinking about things perhaps.
I liked what your FIL said about H sleepin on sofa or leaving. good for him!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Just checking and reading and wishing you get what you want (RU sure, stinking shoes and snoring?)... This may be your chance babe!!! *joking* K
K--
You, know, I thought to myself about all the sleep I have lost because he snored so loud at night. Well, I am losing even more because he is not in bed with me. Even the couple nights that he slept over in the spare bed I was able to get some sleep. I was comforted knowing he was near.
I will pass on the shoes, though! LOL!! I used to make him put those outside
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I know I should not have gotten all tied up in the OW. I have, for the most part, turned her itno a non-entity in my life. She does occasionally rear her ugly head (much like the Kracken) and I have a rough day with it. For the most part, to me she is pathetic. Her self-esteem is so low that she needs to destroy a an entire family to make herself feel better about herself.
I am trying really hard to not let my sense of urgency spill over into my interactions with H. I do not want to make him fee pressured or cornered. I am hoping that the letter writing can happen. We used to do that alot. But, then a part of me wonders, what exactly will I be able to write? Do I keep things mundane, do I get a little spicy, or do I just drop it all out there? I guess I will have to follow his lead initially.
I will see him today--he is going with me to take D5 to her follow up at the burn trauma clinic. I was thinking about asking him if he wanted to stay for dinner, since he would already be at the house. It would not seem so much like a specific invitation, but more spur of the moment.
I am planning on going down to the inlaws' house in a couple of weekends--after the kids finish school. We have one full week left, and then I have one week left. I am going to come up with a definite date and let them know tonight when I call about D5's follow-up.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I hear you about OW. I feel the same way about OM - he's just so pitiful in so many ways. But there he is, standing between me and W. Drives me nuts. But sounds like you are in a good place with it. Hope you had a good time this evening. I missed the banter.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
D5's appointment went well. They were able to remove the bandages off two fingers. We are down to her two middle fingers beign bandaged with the aquacel, which will fall off as the skin heals underneath. Sheis down to individual bandages, giving her morerange of motion. She has some tightness in the two middle fingers. The Occupational Therapist gave us some exercises for her to do and she goes back on Wednesday for her next follow-up. She cannot go back to preschool before then. Overall, what we can see has minimal scarring and should completely fade as she gets older.
No, H did not stay for dinner. I said to him, "hey I pulled out some steaks for dinner. There were three big ones in the pack and the kids and I will never eat all of that. Would you like to stay?" His response, was "No I'm good, but thanks for the invite." He then proceeded to come into the house and eat leftovers while D5 ate some lunch. AAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHH He is driving me crazy!
He IS planning on going to a cookout at my sister's house on Sunday. She invited him last week, at D5's preschool grad. He asked for her number, as he had not programmed it into his phone. Sis had been thinking about cancelling, but said she will not know, as she thinks this is a major step for him. She wants us to work things out, but she was really pushing me to become more independent--more my old self, too.
I missed you too. I may have not been so edgy if I had some one to goof with. I had a wierd night. Really reatless and unsettled. Wanted to call H often, but did not do it. I ahe to be honest, as much fun as I have bantering with you, I enjoyed 100x more when I would do it with H. I am sure you know what I mean.
I am having a hard time gettign to sleep tonight, and can not focus on school, either.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Of course you prefer H. Would it shock you to learn I would prefer bantering with W!? Please, no need to explain!
W did the same thing to me a couple of days ago. After she told me SD missed me and wanted to see me, I asked if they wanted to come by for dinner this week some time. "Ummm, weellll, I'll think about it." Her way of saying "no" when she doesn't actually want to say "no". A few months ago, these kinds of things would have sent me into a tailspin. Now I would describe my mood as a tired disappointment. Still being patient.
I'm still wired from my drive down here. I'm going to be a walking zombie with D14 tomorrow. Do something fun for yourself tomorrow, then make yourself look hot for the Sunday BBQ.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
SMW, I'm trying to catch up on all your happenings but alas no internet at my house. I came over here to my neighbors patio just to see how things are going and to update my thread but it is SOOOO FREAKIN HOT AND HUMID already at 9:30 a.m.! I have to go in. I'm drenched in sweat already.
I just wanted to drop you a line to let you know that I've been thinking about you and praying for you, also. There were a couple of times at night that I wanted to get on here and run a sitch by you or Michelle before I made a big mistake but couldn't because of the flippin internet situation.
I hope all is going well with you. If it cools off tonight, I will get back on and catch up on things. Have a great day!
SMW, Happy to hear that your D is doing better and her scars will eventually disapear. It is sad to say but physical appearance tends to be so important especially for young girls. I always try to instill the inner beauty aspect to my D7 and I think it compensates for W's physical appearance slant....a good mix i guess. Missing the spouse came in waves for me also. I don't have ny miracle cure other than do stuff that will take your mind of H and don't bask in it. Of course if his happens during the night, it is pretty difficult to do "stuff". It is nice to see that H feels comfy enough with your family to accept the invite to your sister's cookout. This will undoubtedly be awkward for you but try to be upbeat and in a good mood. He will be checking you out so you might even want to take an extra couple of minutes to make sure you look nice. Try to remember what type of outfits he liked to see you in and lean towards that selection. Hope everything goes well for you this weekend.
Hope you and D14 have an amazing day! I was in NY at Christmas for a red-eye trip of shows and shopping with D16. We had a blast!
Yeah, I did not go into a tailspin, but was in a funk most of the night. I did manage to find a way to get a copy of Marraige Fitness by Mort Fertel for free, though, so that was cool. Apparently, it is offered to military members and spouses as a downloadable e-book.
I am thinking about taking the kids to a matinee of KungFu Panda. Matinees are the only way I can afford taking 4 kids to the movies! the summer movies start this coming week and I cannot wait. Then we will be going all the time--the movies are free and I keep the concession prices to minimum.
I wanted to cut the grass today, but the humidity is WAY to high to do it comfortably.
I will check in later this evening. I need to get away from the computer for a bit today and then see if I can refocus on getting my papers done for school this evening.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
