Sorry about your D. I know what you mean feeling alone in the hospital. I had a similar experience in August. We came back for vacation (with the devil himself, H was a monster) and my D5 had a very bad ear infection she stayed in the hospital for 3 nights. We were both there, but not together. Hope your little one feels better.
No, I don't agree with asking him out yet. It's a bit too early. Let things settle for a while. I know, it sucks, but I think it would be too much for him at the moment. Of course you know him better but if he follows the notorious DAM pattern, it may set you back and you are doing well at the moment. xxx K
Thanks for the advice K. I was thinking no pressure, but you may be right--he may not view it that way. Do you really think I am doing well? sometimes I am not so sure. but I guess I am seeing some babysteps where he is a little more comfortable with me than he has been in the past couple of months--this past weekend being a good case in point.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Hmmm, I think you could ask him, but it would have to be a "no pressure" ask! Maybe say that you were thinking about eating at XXX, would he like to come along?
And here I was proud of losing almost 10 pounds in the past couple of months! I have a ways to go! Twenty or twenty five more, I think.
How's D5 doing? She had to be really scared!
Jeff--
I was thinking no pressure too--like a phone call saying--I am getting Subway for lunch at the exchange, can I bring you anything or do you want to meet me, my treat? Low key, no pressure definitely. Kalni thinks I may be pushing, so maybe not.
Well, I had ALOT to lose, so it was pretty easy when the stress kicked in. I still have about 50 lbs to go for me to feel comfortable with my weight, almost 100 for what the doctors think I should weigh. I started off giving up all soda at the beginning of the year just because and that gave me 15-20 lbs weight loss by February, when the bomb dropped. The rest has been from the stress of the situation and I am getting better about my snacking and portion control. Not eating for two weeks made the protion control a no-brainer--I just could not put a lot in my stomach without throwing up when I started eating again. It was easy to stick to that.
D5 is a trooper! She was terrified at the hospital, especially when they had to give her an IV--needles scare teh hell out of her. The debridement was rough--they sedated her and then took her in a sterile room and hydro-scrubbed off all of the burnt skin. They scrub until the skin starts to bleed--that is how they know they are at live skin again. The sedation really wigged her out--she was a complete basket case as she was coming out of it.
She is ready to get back to normal things, despite the fact that she injured her right hand and she is right-handed. They have all of her fingers bandaged together and her thumb loose--reminds me of the Penguin from Batman LOL!!
I will think some more on the lunch thing, consider yours and K's positions, and see if ST posts, too. She always has such great insight as well.
SMW
Last edited by sadmilitarywife; 06/04/0808:48 PM.
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Yes I do. And before anything can happen, a lot of negative emotions and memories must be wiped out. At least that happened with me & H (not a good example of a happy ending but still).
Yes I do. And before anything can happen, a lot of negative emotions and memories must be wiped out. At least that happened with me & H (not a good example of a happy ending but still).
K
I COMPLETELY diagree with that statement. You are doing fine, just need to pull you out of your funk!
Counseling is helping bring things out. I am hoping that we can continue to dealwith them. Of course, wit hthe OW still i nthe picture, I do not know how well dealing with things is going to go. I know, count my blessings--he is willing to go to counseling and many are not.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Hmmm, Offering to grab subway sounds pretty safe to me, but listen to the other opinions too!
Giving up soda was my start too! Then the doc said I was at least prediabetic, and the "diabetes educator" read me teh riot act! She directed me to the Sugarbusters! diet/lifestyle. This has come on pretty quickly, which is a bit scary. But, since I've cut out the sugar, and the processed flour my blood sugar levels have improved a lot, and the weight is racing off! I'm actually thinking I may have to eat a bit more, I think I may be losing too quickly! That's just too weird! I'm finding I am just a little hungry quite a bit, but not so much that I can't get through it. And I don't even want to eat as much as I used to.
It's amazing how fast the kids recover, isn't it! I expect D5 will be doing everthing, and you won't be able to figure out how!
HHMMMM situation update and (I think) more babysteps--
H came over to pick up the kids today for visitation. In-laws are in town because BIL's ship pulled back in this morning from a 7 month deployment. H was able to get out fo school to go over to the base for homecoming with his parents and SIL.
When he came in the house (just walked right in AGAIN!!--I really need to get over this!) he immediately came over to where I was sitting on the loveseat, sat down on the arm and said--come look I have pictures of homecoming for you to see. H KNOWS I have always loved homecomings--watching them on TV when they were not for the ship we were assigned to. Yes, our military community is that tight that the homecomings are broadcast for all ships. He also showed me pictures from when he took the kids to the beach over the weekend.
I said wow, I love homecomings, he said I know, that is why I showed you the pictures. Said his parents may be over to see me this evening before they head home, but he is not sure.
I was kind of coy, leaning in very close and I caught him looking down my top--a v-neck with a clear shot down the front from where he was sitting ;).
He sat around for a couple minutes, jsut chatting. Asked if he could feed the kids here for dinner. Told him yes, there is plenty of leftovers, but I could not leave as I have a lot of school work to catch up on from being at the hospital Monday and Tuesday. Said that was fine, and actually asked--for the first time since the bomb--how school was going. He did not realize that I was still taking an LOA for the summer. Thought it was a good idea, would give me more time to spend with the kids while they are out of school. I said, yes, it will also give me time to decompress for a while. (I have been going to school nonstop since August of 2005, giving birth to my S2 in the middle of my second term at school.)
I originally planeed sowe could all spend time together before his deployment. Hopefull y that will happen, too, but no expectations of it. Although, the comments about the amusement parks was positive over the weekend.
Alright, back to schoolwork while the house is empty for a bit.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
;).
