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#1448846 - 05/17/08 02:15 PM DEPRESSION/WITHDRAWAL STAGE
TRUSTING Offline
Member

Registered: 11/03/07
Posts: 2549
My old thread locked.....

H is definitely in depression/withdrawal stage.

He is not making much contact with me.

When he had the kids the last two days, both said that he left them at home for hours at a time. He appears sluggish and preoccupied.

The baby told me that "daddy is really crabby and mean".

His world is crashing down on him.

He is miserable.

He is not picking up the stuff he wanted from the house.
_________________________
Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11


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#1448855 - 05/17/08 02:35 PM Re: DEPRESSION/WITHDRAWAL STAGE [Re: TRUSTING]
glamgirl Offline
Member

Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 3481
Trusting have you tried recently to have any kind of talks with h such as showing your support like, h you seem depressed or down is their anything I can do to help?

If he is open to seeing a Dr could you say h would you like me to make an appointment with Dr so and so, I think you should go in and talk with him or her on how you are feeling. Maybe their is something the Dr can help you with?

You look really tired this week h is their something I can help you with or I can take the kids these 2 days instead if you need the rest.

Showing some compassion for how he might be feeling. Do you think he is in depression and needs to seek medical attention? Would he be open to that?

Just some suggestions. It seems like he might just need a friend. You could just be that friend!
_________________________
Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"

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#1448998 - 05/17/08 06:26 PM Re: DEPRESSION/WITHDRAWAL STAGE [Re: glamgirl]
TRUSTING Offline
Member

Registered: 11/03/07
Posts: 2549
Good suggestions Glam, I will try something like that when I see him next. He has been staying away though.
_________________________
Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11


Top
#1449155 - 05/17/08 11:51 PM Re: DEPRESSION/WITHDRAWAL STAGE [Re: TRUSTING]
forward Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/06
Posts: 4049
Trusting, I think my H is in depression stage, too.
_________________________
M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
X has major medical issues
New Woman - died.
Remarried to new guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D


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#1449207 - 05/18/08 01:04 AM Re: DEPRESSION/WITHDRAWAL STAGE [Re: forward]
Carly Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/30/08
Posts: 13
I think mine is very depressed. But I think he is still in the replay stage.

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#1449534 - 05/18/08 02:44 PM Re: DEPRESSION/WITHDRAWAL STAGE [Re: Carly]
TRUSTING Offline
Member

Registered: 11/03/07
Posts: 2549
This is so weird...

Ex told the kids he was going to the Kentucky Derby this weekend.

The Kentucky Derby was held May 3 .........

Lies Lies and more Lies...
_________________________
Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11


Top
#1449573 - 05/18/08 03:59 PM Re: DEPRESSION/WITHDRAWAL STAGE [Re: TRUSTING]
glamgirl Offline
Member

Registered: 04/28/07
Posts: 3481
The lies are what are hard. Difficult to understand! I believe they stem from a lack of self esteem. Maybe your h needs to make his life sound exciting to his children.

Remember he chose this life, now he needs to show that it's a great life!

It's extremely difficult for a man to show his weaker side. It might help your sitch by encouraging your h and try building up his self esteem.
_________________________
Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"

Top
#1449884 - 05/19/08 12:16 AM Re: DEPRESSION/WITHDRAWAL STAGE [Re: glamgirl]
forward Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/06
Posts: 4049
Well, I guess so long as they are w/OW, they are in replay.
_________________________
M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
X has major medical issues
New Woman - died.
Remarried to new guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D


Top
#1449908 - 05/19/08 01:14 AM Re: DEPRESSION/WITHDRAWAL STAGE [Re: forward]
peacetoday Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/07
Posts: 2588
T
It is hard to pin exactly where our H are at
they seem to cycle a lot
My H also seems very withdrawn this weekend
I liked Glams Ideas
I told H he looks so shutdown
I suggested he get some help
He told me to get help
I said I already have gotton lots of help
he said nothing
peace
_________________________
married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow

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#1449957 - 05/19/08 02:20 AM Re: DEPRESSION/WITHDRAWAL STAGE [Re: peacetoday]
sleeper Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 1843
Loc: The Great State of Confusion
Trusting,

H might not have been lying intentionally about Kentucky Derby. My W is so out of it at times she mentions going to events that have already taken place or are a couple of weeks off in the future.
_________________________
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13

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