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Originally Posted By: NoCodeBlues

Still, as it stands, I cannot accept this document or this agreement. I am debating now how to break the news to the both of them. I would like to talk to my L first, but I cannot get scheduled before the week after next.




Well, can't you just say that you need your L to look at any document including this one before you sign (even if it is in a week or two)? I think that is pretty standard procedure. It sounds like from what you say that your L will not approve, and then you can tell them that? Karen


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nocodes,

She is really munipulative! holy cow, this is not someone who deserves an H like you.

I would not accept the doc. either. karen has a good excuse to by you some time.

Hang in there, and definately take them fishing... green light!


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
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Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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Thanks, Karen, Tal,

(Sorry, Karen, I did not mean to forget to thank you also for your previous comment.)

Using the L as my alibi for delaying a response is a good idea. However, W and the mediator are supposed to be under the impression neither of us has our own L yet, having forgone that to enter voluntary mediation. I'm not too worried about it however, since their casual dismissal of my interests is precipitating my seeking personal counsel anyway.

FYI, at the suggestion of a friend of mine, I joined the ACFC yesterday (American Coalition of Fathers & Children, an advocacy group for fairness in family courts. http://www.acfc.org)


Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
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nocodes,

Thats great you joined tht group. Hopefully they can give you some insite and provide you with some support.

Besides us. \:\)


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,580
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Tal, we all need as much support as we can muster, but an advocacy group can never replace the kind of support our DB family provides us.

I am thankful to all of you.


Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,866
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I know this board is great... we have many friends here, This is really the only support system I have other than one friend that I don't like to bombard all the time.

Hope you have a good wkend.

\:\)


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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Hi Nocode-

I've been lurking on your thread. You sent me hugs on mine & I just wanted to say thanks & send some back....((((HUGS)))).

-Sue


ME: 42, H: 42, D6
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Originally Posted By: NoCodeBlues
Tal, we all need as much support as we can muster, but an advocacy group can never replace the kind of support our DB family provides us.

I am thankful to all of you.


I'm thankful to everybody too! Often my C just tells me what I've already heard from someone or several people on here! The people here are as good (or better) than professional therapists--they just don't get paid \:\) !!! Karen
Karen


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nocodes,

how goes it today?


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,580
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Hi, Tal,

I am coming off a bit of a depressive low today. Last evening was a bit of an irrational downer for me. After planning all week to go to my friend, M's, baptism last evening, in the end I got the time wrong by an hour -- instead of showing up 20 minutes early, my S's and I were shocked to find we were really 40 minutes too late.

Couple that with the rough afternoon (weekend) I had trying to get my two boys to mind me, and I feel like such a failure.

The absent-minded stupidity of missing the baptism after planning it for months now is so discouraging -- that should have been something only the "old me" would have done. That is supposed to be something I have overcome. Driving home I got so despondent thinking about how I could have made so stpid a mistake, and how I don't seem to be able to keep my two hyperactive boys under reasonable control.

Part of me just wants to run away (I know I can't and won't). I began wondering whether I was really fit to be someone's father or not. Am I just kidding myself? Maybe S7 and S3 would be better off without me?


Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
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