It's OK to realise this now, you are too young, still very romantic to think there are other organs than just stomach and "other brain" and that the a.m. actually lead to their heart... Have you heard of labyrinths, never end up anywhere, always going by the same points/marks (stomach, other brain?)
Hey Michelle! No, you werent mean, you were spot on! And I agree with Kalni, I felt you seemed much older and wiser than your years too, I didnt know my *rse from my elbow at 25 ! I thought what you said was really insightful. Hi Jeff...I love the way you call Michelles H a ninny! And I agree with the way to a mans heart is through his stomach...thats why I made an effort to cook him a couple of roast dinners (and he did really appreciate it). Hey Kalni, I am sorry that your H gave you a rubbish hug, I would say well done for asking for one, because you needed a hug, but did you regret asking him then?
So..he texted me a bit earlier, he is out with his family and was drunk! The wedding is tommorow.. and he said in his text "will speak tommorow"..! which is a bit vague, but I'd be surprised if he called me, but I would be pleased! (I didnt refer to it in my text replies, just some jokey stuff about his Mum being out with them, rock and roll!)...so Michelle, I am letting him lead.
I went out with a meal tonight with old work mates and my good friend who had IVF and took 3 times to get pregnant and now she has a 1 in 16 chance she will have to terminate, so I had a long chat with her and it was lovely to talk to her and be there for her. Tommorow I am seeing my oldest friend (known her 37 years!) and Saturday I have a party and Sunday I am seeing my best mate and childen..so I made sure I have lots of things planned this time I came home. But...I was still pleased to get his text :-)
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
but what if its that he DOES know what he wants.. he doesnt want to be with me as a BF, he still only loves and cares for me like a mate, as he said at the bomb? What if its not that he just cant do it "right now" but actually, he doesnt want to do it, I am his ex, I am his friend, thats all he wants?
The answer to this question is you have no control over this. You can only show him what he is missing. It is completely up to him to decide whether or not to look your way.
Thus, what Michelle said is the gospel truth. You have ZERO hope of reconciling w/ BF if you can't be happy by yourself first. It is easier said than done as we all know, but once you start out, it does get easier.
I don't like the fact I'm w/out my W, but I don't need her to be happy. I want her, but will survive w/out her. Several weeks ago, I'd never be able to believe this, but it is getting easier to comprehend.
Don't get me wrong, as it still makes me very, very sad. However, I know I'll land on my feet eventually regardless of how things turn out in my marriage. Once you get to that point w/ yourself, you'll begin to feel less and less anxious and more and more confident.
Also, Jack stated that he wouldn't be calling his ex a lot if he just wanted to be friends, and I'd have to agree. Men aren't good at the commitment thing, so the last thing we tend to do if we are trying to leave a relationship is to keep the connection going. We keep it going b/c we don't want it to go away. If we want it gone, we usually just go and don't look back. The male is wired quite a bit differently than the female in that regard.
Really RTL, is that the case!? Gosh. I had no brother. Next door were 3 girls (one born 3 months after me and we have been friends for life!), behind was 2 girls.. I went to an all girl school, so its fair to say, I have limited experience of the male psyche!
I guess i can tell its not really normal to be in such close contact (daily contact!) with someone you are done with, so perhaps I should have more confidence in myself and the fact I have managed to lure him (DB him??) to a position of at least being on the fence, still undecided, from a previous position of not even contacting me. The trouble is, the long standing depression complicates my sitch I think and his actions could be someone wanting support and comfort, but nothing more. Who knows!
One interesting thing.. in his text message he said something sentimental about my mate (she used to get on great with him), he said "Love to Av and all" !! I was out with old work mates who he had met. This is the first time he has used the phrase Love since the bomb and of course then he said it as IDLYA! I wondered if I was subconsciously included in the "Love to .. and ALL" but thats wishful thinking!? He was drunk though. The wedding is tommorow, he will no doubt be hammered. My mate, his best mates W promised to keep an eye on him and is going to try and find out what he is thinking. I said if she tries, do it when he is drunk, becuase his defences (mask) will be down and he will more likely be honest. I'm seeing her Saturday and bless her, she promised me "I will tell you everything" ! Cant wait.
Yes, after the loneliness down South in the house for weeks alone and then ill, I needed this weekend. I made sure I got to see everyone that matters to me and had things planned so I'm proud of myself. It has been hard to be happy lately, I have been so lonely, being alone that much was sending me crazy!
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
