Partner left after 9 years - will he reconnect?

[Virtually_Handsome]

((((((Ali))))))
Jut waking up, and my eyes are still a bit blurry...
But, no, I don't think I wold text him again. You already let him know you are there, and willing to listen. Any more and you'll be pressuring him. Patience dear friend. Remember, he has a lot of stuff swimming through his head. Adn sideways rain never helped anyones attitude! I know where you can find some sunshine!

[Kalni]

Wait, wait, wait... Don't "strangle (sp?) him with so much caring"...

K

[transformer]

Dear ali!

I'm with Kalni and BobbiJo. Give him a little time to step towards you!!!

You ARE woman! Ali, you're so delightful. I am very impressed with your shower sealing. FYI, you seem to be in SUCH a different place now than when you started posting, even than where you were a couple weeks ago. hooray!!!!

With all this talk about big change, I am wondering, how do I stay in the game, so I am in it to win it, as you said? What already happened was so huge. I am happy to content myself with that. But is there anything else I should do to maximize the impact of this moment of alignment? other than NOT stay home watching cable?

((((ALI))))

[AliSuddenly]

Ha! Well I renovated 4 houses and whilst I did have a lot of workmen in, I did lots my self too ! Tiling, grouting, knocking down walls, plumbing, assembling and fitting kitchens, ok so I'm showing off now, but I'm proud of myself!

Thanks for your steadying influences guys and gals. I didnt text him. Its so frustrating, I'm more in love than ever. I had such a great time with him Thursday, which is ironic seeing as he is in such a bad way, but I cant imagine any other man for me. I so wonder what he sees when he sees me.

I was thinking about his statement at the bomb, about love and me and his best friends. He said "I love x, I love y and I love z, but I dont love you".

Well, on the phone last night he was moaning about the first person, saying that he thinks hes rather odd sometimes and that his behaviour is ridiculous - this is the guy he fell out with on Sunday, his best mate.

The second person, on Thursday he moaned about him, he had emailed him about the depression and this guy owned up to taking ADs himself, but then was being all blase and cool about it, and my BF was rightly saying that this guy is so unaware and dishonest emotionally and its annoying as he has known him 12 years.

The third person, he saw last week, his female friend and I think she was helpful, but she rarely phones him and has had more depression over the years than he has himself.

So...then theres me. I dont believe that he doesnt love me. And I am sure I dont let him down or wind him up as much as these three people. He drew the comparison at the bomb, but he has since said some very revealing and honest complaints about them, so he has obviously had some realisations that they are flawed and only human . I wonder how he views me now 5 months on?

[AliSuddenly]

hey guys.. well, hurrah, hes not on a lads night out. The town is nearly an hours drive from his flat and he sent me this text message half an hour ago... "Hi al, just got there and the others have all jibbed!"

Now, why would he send me a message saying that !? :-)

I wrote back saying your kidding, what a shame and what you going to do now then?

no reply. I hoped he'd offer to meet me for a drink instead, seeing as its a Saturday night and hes at a lose end now. But thats probably a hope too far! Funny and sweet that he told me though.

Ali
______________
Me: 37 H: 34
T: 9 years
IDLYA: 2 Nov 07
Own flat: 26 Jan 08

[MichelleLT]

Lol. Well, time will tell.

[AliSuddenly]

Oh no!! He just texted again. What he meant was the two nice guys had jibbed, the ones he was planning to sit in a quiet corner with and talk music.. the third friend is there and his brother, both single! He said he was out with them and it was "ok so far!" dont know what this means. But this friend is a total womaniser and boasts about his running total of one night stands and ALWAYS cops off with a woman when he goes out in this town. I'm worried now! I know hes depressed and all that, but its that Uranus/Jupiter/Venus thing tonight, hes a Leo and they wilt when their single and he'll be drinking and what better way to cheer yourself up than a bit of chatting to women!?? This is worse than him being out with all 4 of them, these 2 are a pair of lose canons. Eek! Why did he have to tell me!? I was having a nice relaxing evening before he did. Damn planets.

Ali

[MichelleLT]

Haha. He's still not that guy. Don't freak too much. Perhaps he'll be bored and text with you all night.

[AliSuddenly]

Haha! Cheers Michelle. Well I sent him a jokey text back and added I hope he didnt end up in some tragic club playing the latest "choones" ! And wished him a good night out. :-)

[AliSuddenly]

Got another one from him..hes in this horrendous town, renowned for its Ibiza stylee clubs and stag and hen do's.. its not his scene and hes really not enjoying himself, he just sent me a jokey text about how awful it is. But then the average age of those there is probably like 20, and hes nearly 35 ! I sent him a jokey text back.

Its really great hes keeping me informed of his night out! Trying not to read too much into it, but thats a real change...he hasnt done that all along since he left! I hope I get to see him tommorow...