HELLO! It went really well, we got on great as usual..he did all the talking as usual, I smiled alot, laughed along, listened alot and validated as usual, but was a bit quiet and shy again unfortunately (whereas I was always confident and chatty and jokey pre bomb). He looked GORGEOUS (but apologised for not styling his hair!), he was great company, full of skiing anecdotes, made me laugh, was sweet but talked about himself the whole time! He seemed nervous actually. He seemed a bit different, more confident, self-assured, grown-up. I had this voice running through my head as I listened to his jokey stories.. "I just want to marry you". Oh well ! The film was great and he made the move to give me a big hug when he dropped me off and said he would call me tommorow! (I would be surprised if he did, but lets see!)
One other thing...he IS going to sell his Dads house and he had a full handle on our financial sitch (a TOTAL 180 for him, I did all the finances), that if he sells, we lose the profit on the rent which offsets the loss on our marital home...and he didnt ask me what I thought, he didnt ask to discuss it, he didnt say, I'm thinking of this he just said..
...so, when I sell I'm going to put the money down on no.X (our house) to reduce the mortgage down, so that the rent covers it easily and at the moment its making a big loss, and thats just not sustainable.
Thats 100k down on our mortgage on our joint house.
My brain had to catch up and I went...uhh..um..hrghh...oh..hmm..well if thats your decision, great.. and smiled sweetly whilst being GOBSMACKED.
I didnt read too much into it though, he is basically a sensible guy and has a cautious approach to money (as opposed to my gung ho, he who dares Rodney, he who dares! attitude). Still, its a fantastic outcome for me, hes willing to put down so much and we are joint owners. I really was very amazed and relieved.
Ok..um, was that analysis free enough ?? (I'm trying Kalni!) :-)
PS: He noticed me new top...he looked,he said, oh, is that a new top? the one you bought in town yesterday? he paused then went "cool"... so, not - it looks nice, but hey, at least he noticed!
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
It sounds like you had a great evening! The plans on the house sound really good! He's still connected with you, even if he doesn't know it! And, I really think that talking about him might be a good thing. He is clearly letting you back into his life. Baby steps, but steps nontheless!
And, I think a guy looking at a top, and saying "cool" is pretty close to a "looks nice", maybe better, actually!
Oh my GOODNESS!!! This is spectacular!! Lady, look how far you've come. I am so proud of you. So proud. So many good things!!! It sounds like you were really grounded and positive throughout your whole HOT DATE!!
Great job! This was a definite date, there can be no doubt. Sounds like it went very well, and I have to agree with Jeff that "cool" can be almost interchangeable with "looks nice".
I noticed that you wrote about him doing most of the talking and you have mentioned this before. I wonder what you think/feel about it?
