DR Chapter 2 - Major Disagreements Get Resolved?

[Jamesjohn]

In healthy relationships, major disagreements get resolved over time.

How do you feel about this statement?

What things have you and your partner been arguing about that never seemed to get resolved?

Have there been any ways in which your heated arguments have changed over time? Have they mellowed in any way?

Have any of your disagreements seemed to have become less important than they were before?

Have you been able to just "agree to disagree" about any subjects?

If so, how were you able to get to this point?

Have you ever been able to use your sense of humor to lessen the tension about your long-time disagreements?

Have you ever "switched sides" on these disagreements, maybe argued the point in favor of your partner's stance?

[sgctxok]

Up.

For me, some of the same issues remain the same issues. I guess we just learn to disagree.

[Jamesjohn]

What works best for you in "choosing your battles"?

How do you sort out what's important to resolve, from what's not-so-important to resolve?

[Jamesjohn]

"Fight Rules"

Which couple is more likely to get a divorce?

The couple that seems to "fight" all of the time, or the couple that NEVER fights?

I think that the answer to that depends on the "rules of engagement".

What kind of "fight rules" do you have with your partner? Either spoken, or unspoken?

Is it ok to argue with each other at any time or place, or are there certain times and places for this to happen?

Is it ok to drag up the past, to change the subject when you feel attacked? Can you take a "time-out" and come back to the discussion later? Do you postpone it indefinitely?

What works for both of you? What things can, and do, you do so that you both feel safe to speak what's on your mind?

What has worked for BOTH of you in the past? When have been the times when BOTH fighters have emerged from the ring as "champions"?!

[Jamesjohn]

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