W2G..and your instincts were right about the joint property. His best friends W tried to talk to him about sorting things out as we have alot of joint finances...and he said quite categorically to her that "we are leaving everything as it is"..and she was surprised to hear that and also thinks it is a good sign !
He has texted me to ask when I want to leave, I said whenever you are ready. He replied saying he's not sure as feels v rough and will call later. Oh dear. He never used to drink this much! But then it was a stag do, so not surprising. Feeling nervous! Buoght a new dress for the journey :-)
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Ali, I'm SOOO happy to hear of this news! Everything will fall into place, I can feel it! I'm in a very positive mood today, but I can feel it for you! And I bet you look so hot in your new dress that he'll be drooling (to himself ofcourse!).
I am so happy that you have some confirmation of his doubts. I hope this gives you some fresh motivation to DB and to be patient. He does need to work through this on his own.
Yay! (((Ali)))
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Yay!!! Hurray for joint property.. and hurray for best friend's wife opening up to you! This is the information you needed to continue on your journey.. and I know that all of us are glad that you don't have to give up on your passion for astrology!!
Please tell us about your new dress and your BF's reaction to this dress!
Hey everyone...thanks for your support!! I was thrilled to hear of a chink in his armour, whilst also thinking...but it is still over and he may well still want to stick with that decision. But the good news is..he got me a birthday present !!!! My god! I think that counts as a goal achieved (I hoped he would remember it).
But unfortunately, just as I was supposed to stick with what I was doing as you all say...I had a major backslide. I'm annoyed at myself and wondering if I have undone some of the good I have done so far.
We got to the house and I saw a dead mouse by my cat, but I was feeling emotional as its my birthday tommorow and he was there and its the night before and he hadnt mentioned it... So he saw my face and started asking what was wrong and if I was alright? I said, well, yes, sort of...and he saw the mouse and said, oh, is that whats wrong? And I said..well, partly.. (oh dear!!)
He insisted on cleaning it up for me, then he was looking all nervy and went to the door where my bags were and said..um, I got yuo a present for your birthday and was amazed and said "REALLY!?", but he hadnt wrapped it he said and started getting it out of my bag where he had hidden it and I got emotional and asked him, but you're giving it to me tonight? And he said well yes, and then bunged it at me !!!!
But it was an Editors CD...and I just crumpled, I sort of started to cry, or nearly... he had remembered, I told him a few weeks ago that I had wanted this CD! He got all anxious and said several times "oh I didnt mean to upset you!" and gave me a hug and I thanked him and said I was very touched that he had remembered and that it was very kind of him...but all in a very emotional loaded voice. He said, well I'll call you tommorow and again, stupidly, I looked upset and said "REALLY!? and he said, yes, of course..and I stood there dumbfounded and he said again several times, I'm so sorry, I dont want to upset you..to which I replied, no dont be daft, its me thats sorry, I'm sorry for getting upset. And he laughed nervously and said, its not you that should be apologising. He gave me another light hug at the door and now he looked upset and stressed and repeated that he hadnt meant to upset me and that he would contact me tommorow and then literally legged it with me just staring at him in probably the most emotional face imaginable.
So..damn. I really messed up, but he caught me unawares! I guess I just shouldnt even refer to it tommorow, or ever!
At least he bought me a present :-) Amazing.
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
That's great news that he got you this birthday gift! It is showing some thoughtfulness on his part and that he is still tuned in to you. He isn't sure how to go about making contact sometimes, I would guess.
I can imagine far worse backsliding than you have described! Don't be too hard on yourself. It took you by surprise, so we can't expect ourselves to always know how to react to every given twist and turn in this business. We're all learning how to handle and manage the range of different emotions that come up and the particular triggers that are likely to bring it about.
The big deal here is not the backsliding but the shift for him! And that means that you are doing some good work on your part also, Ali!
YAY!! I imagine this feels like a pretty great birthday present; enjoy it, as you certainly deserve it.
I'm glad you are finally hearing what we've been saying from someone else! And he did remember your birthday! Though it sounds like you may have scared the poor man to death! Don't think about it again, or breath a word about it! The sooner it's forgotten, the better, and saying anything won't help!
