I know you suspected it but sorry you finally got/saw the truth. Hurts a lot, I know.
She's not likely to tell the truth, now or ever.. why?? Dunno, just how the whole "cheat on your spouse" thing I guess. I'm really sorry.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Ok, so you knew it. And now you know it at an even deeper level. It had to be. The driving force is almost always a sexual relationship.
But really, Blue, from what you've told us about her, you're the lucky one -- you are getting away from a he!!cat. I feel sorry for the guy. He doesn't know what he's getting into. He is going to feel the brunt of her fury next. I'd say wrap her up in a bow and give her to him!
I a so sorry Nocode. In the long run you and the boys will be better off without her interfering in your R. Once the D is through hopefully her attitude to you will improve vis a vis the boys.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Oh no code my Dbing is not working either - sometimes we are just up against a brick wall - everyone says one day they will be sorry - our spouses - but not mine or yours right now - I fear in your sit and mine they will be sorry when it is too late - you sound like a loving father and you have tried everything - my heart is with you - Ive went back and read your whole story - sounds like you have been through hell as alot of us have - sorry about finding the truth about the A. Thats another dagger in the heart even if you suspected it. Thinking of you - hang in there - her A wont last with him - thats what Ive been told about my Hs affair - they never do - its a fantasy
I appreciate and admire all of you so very much for standing for your M. I thank all of you for your support and understanding, the kind words, the wise advice. I don't know how I could have made it without you and all the others I've met since this ordeal began. The Lord God has blessed me in this time of woe by putting good, kind people like you on my path.
The Sun still came up this morning. Life will go on. I know where I stand in this great big world. Time to keep moving forward.
I definitely jumped the DB'ing rails this morning. My two S's are always up at the crack of dawn. I called the hotel room where W is staying with OM. W picked up the phone and said, "Hello?"
I said absolutely nothing -- I turned the speakerphone on and gave it to S7 and S3. My two boys know nothing of what is going on, so they greeted their mother and wished her a good morning. They tried to engage her in the typical words they exchange at these times, what they're doing, that they love her, to have a good day today -- as if nothing was unusual.
W was calm, maintained her cool demeanor quite admirably (I must say), but she kept telling each of our S's that she loved them, and kept repeating it to them. I still said nothing (don't feel I can now talk to her ever again at this point) and let S7 hang up the phone.
With no word from me, I know I got my message across. She will interpret it to suit her warped mindset; I expect that. But she now knows that I know.
I have cried quietly this morning. Passed my sniffle off as the lingering effects of my cold when S7 looked at me. Lots of hug therapy today.
Bold move. And brilliant, in my mind. You are not stupid, you will not be lied to. I agree, why the pretense?? Why the lies? I think you did the right thing.
Nocode, you have done everything right. You are strong, and yes, the sun will rise every single day and you will always be a father. And possibly a husband to someone else who will cherish loyalty.
HUGS I am thinking of you today. Cry and let your emotions come and go. No need to stuff them inside.
NoCode, Holy cow, she's been busted big time! Beware, her attitude may get even worse!
I just don't get these WAS and their 'how great I am' attitudes, their blame shifting, harboring of ill feelings, etc. All these ill-feelings and bad attitudes are so counter-productive. Why can't they see that?
I think getting counseling for the sake of the children is a great idea. You still have to be parents no matter what. She's not even willing to do that!? But just as it takes two to determine the marriage dynamic, it takes two to make a good -- or bad -- divorce. Is that what she really wants?
(((HUGS))) -- you can't say you didn't try. You're right up there with LWB in the DBing your butt off category. Take care of yourself this weekend. It's time to focus on you and your sons.
NoCode, I am so sorry for you. I don't understand the lying or why your W would not want to go to counseling for her own children. My children, btw, also have Sensory Integration problems as well, so I know how tough that can be. Counseling sounds like a great idea! I think some of our spouses seem like they just are on a very destructive path obviously. Karen43
