Just a quick update. We had a GREAT weekend. FW was quite the handyman around the house and put up new shelves in my pantry and laundry room as well as a closet organizer in S5's room.
Watched the Super Bowl together last night. No big party for us this year, but I was perfectly fine with that.
It was actually as close to a perfect evening as can get for me. We laid in the bed together. D9 crawled up with us for a while and we all snuggled together enjoying the game and the commercials.
I had my head on FW's shoulder and just felt a great sense of peace and happiness laying there like that. It was nice.
My D9 walked down front at church yesterday morning declaring that she would like to be baptized. It was great. She's talked about it for some time now and we finally found a good church where she could go down and do that. She's going to be baptized next Sunday morning when all the family can get in town.
SPOM - I'm glad my post did you some good. I know when my H would talk of divorce I would get very emotional and teary and just think the worst and it helped me to come here and read of those that said the same thing that had since come home.
ANM - I emailed your post to FW so that he could read it. If he has any insight I'll let you know (or he can). I'm a firm believer in prayer and signs from God. It's what helped me keep my patience during some rough times. I'm very glad that your husband went to be with S32. Actually who knows what goes on in their brains though? I think your faith will tell you if it really means anything. I may not mean that he's coming home anytime soon, but it may just be that God wants you to continue standing. Who knows. Just continue to pray and ask Gods' direction and you'll be fine.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
ANewMe - I am extremely sorry to read about your s32. I hope he is on the road to recovery. I cannot imagine the pain of watching one of my kids battle cancer. It puts any of my problems into perspective.
It is pure conjecture on my part to give any insight into what your H's actions may or may not mean. That being said, his visit could be as simple as guilt over the lack of contact with s32 and knowing his son is going through one of the roughest times of his life. The surgery also has to weigh on H's conscience in that his son is mortal (if your H has a conscience). H's parents being there may certainly have something to do with his sudden contact. At least, that is what seems most reasonable to me. That way, he can at least assuage his guilt somewhat and not disappoint his parents (again?).
I really would not read any more into it than that. His R (or lack thereof) with s32 is completely seperate from his R with you. Reading more into his visit to see S32 while he is in the hospital will just set you up for more disappointment and hurt. On a brighter note, it may very well be that some of your prayers are being answered. Only God knows. Keep giving it to Him and focus on the things that are well in your life (including the treatment for your s32 cancer) and those that you can continue to change for the better.
I think BFM's advice is good. I wish you the best. You and your family are in my prayers.
FW
"When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." - Helen Keller
Glad you all had such a fabulous weekend, I am always so happy to hear that things are going so well over there...it gives us all such hope !
H and I also have talked about D lately..not much, but yes, it did get me emotional and teary... I think that I've found a new level of detachment..I feel more like his friend now than his wife, and things have seemed to jumped into an easier state of being since then...
ANM....sweety...I pray for your son, and for you, may God help you through these horribly rough times ! ((((((HUGS))))))))
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Thought this was very good and some here might like to read it.
BFM
Quote:
Is Your Faith In Your Fear? by Jon Walker
“But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid.” (Matthew 14:27, NIV)
Across the breadth of the Bible, God consistently sends the message, “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.”
The Bible reveals that God knows we tend toward fear, particularly as we respond to uncertainty and change. Yet the Bible also reveals that God is the only unchanging certainty in this world – or out of it.
Yet, is it possible we have more faith in our fear than we do in God?
No matter how complex life becomes, it still comes down to this basic choice: Will we place our confidence in the All-Powerful Supreme Being and Sole Authority of the Universe, or will we place greater confidence in our fears?
Although the choice is black-or-white basic, God knows it’s not simple. It involves a challenging stretch, and that’s why God continually reminds us, “Fear not, for I am with you.”
God is clear that our abilities, our resources – even a belief in the myth of luck – will not be what strengthens us for the journey. (Philippians 4:13) We fear we can’t do the things God calls us to do, and we fear that God will not protect us or provide for us. We choose this fear, embracing the unholy lie that our circumstances are bigger than the One True God.
Our faith in God gets placed on the altar of our own perceptions when we should be placing our perceptions on the altar of unflinching faith.
If you’re like me, you often fear what’s behind the curtain of God’s call, and God – frustratingly – won’t let me peek behind the curtain, and so:
Our fear shouts – “Pay no attention to the God behind the curtain; he’s just another wizard from Oz, using smoke and mirrors to give you the illusion of power and grace.”
Our God whispers – In that still, small voice, he calls us to develop confidence in him; he calls us to abandon the confidence we have in what we see and the confidence we have in our fears. God keeps the curtain of our future drawn so we will learn to live by faith and not by sight, so we will become certain of what we hope for and become sure of God, even when we cannot see how he’s working in our current circumstances. (Hebrews 11:1)
What does this mean?
· Ask God to replace your fear with faith – Eliminating your fear involves more than working up your courage. This is a spiritual battle that requires you to develop faith. But first you need to make a choice – Will you fear, or will you “faith?”
· Faith means you believe the truth – Your behavior and decisions are most often rooted in what you believe. When you experience fear, ask yourself, “What does this fear say about what I believe in this circumstance?” What fears are you experiencing today? What do they say about the beliefs you currently embrace? Ask God to pull these false beliefs and fears out by the root.
· Get caught in an act of faith – One day, a woman who had hemorrhaged for 12 years slipped up behind Jesus and touched his robe, believing he could heal her. “Jesus turned –caught her at it. Then he reassured her: ‘Courage, daughter. You took a risk of faith, and now you're well.’” (Matthew 9:22, MSG) God is for you, and he encourages you to be caught in the act of faith. When you act in faith, you proclaim your belief in God; you acknowledge he exists and that God cares about you.
· Let a friend tell you about your fears -- Ask a friend if he or she sees a part of your life where you show more fear than faith – and then, together, pray for God to help your unbelief. (Mark 9:24)
I'm glad things are going so well for you and your h. I have a couple of questions: how did you know that you had forgiven him? Do you ever have moments when you feel resentment for what he did? If so, how do you deal with that? Thanks! Have a great weekend.
I am battling this weekend and I am needing all I can get to get the strength to fight back and figure out what it is that God wants me to do. Not what the boards and experts say is the best thing to do.
Thank you for being a great friend.
B2M
Bomb 3/31/2007 Moved out 04/22/2007 Moved back in 06/11/2007 Wants to stay and try 09/04/2007
