Primarily, I don't want to provoke my W into retaliating and changing the locks on our house. That's just not a battle I want to fight right at the moment.
Second, I gave W a key to my apartment in the beginning under the notion that we were going to work on our R/M; and that I wanted W to be able to access our S's in our place in case or an emergency. I was just thinking of this as a mere precaution.
Lastly, W wanted to be able to come over during the summer while I was at work to allow the children to swim in the pool here.
But then, it has been almost seven months now. And if W does file for D, I will definitely expect her to give me her key back -- in fact, I will insist. In the mean time, however, if she continues to abuse this courtesy, I will have to take action sooner.
I think there is a difference in your ability to change the locks on the apartment and her ability to change the locks on a house that you one of the owners of. But anyway, I agree with NikB, throw the panties away and if she looks for them, tell her you didn't think they were hers so you threw them away.
Ok can we stop talking about panties..... Please.....
Nocode, I understand the lock sitch. this is also why I don't change the access password to my lap top.. I to just don't want to go there. You could get some kind of safe or change the lock to the bed room or other room though.
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Pin up the undies on your bulletin board in your apartment.
Ok, just teasin'....... But I would either 1) keep sending them back without a word or 2) throw them away every time. If this isn't an accident, its a pathetic mind game. And remember, you are above and beyond this. You are nocode, darnit. You are taking the right path. Don't follow her down her path. Don't.
We are in a no-fault state as well. The atty I spoke with though, said it can't hurt to have physical proof of an affair. It bears no weight in court (although most judges frown on infidelity), but it CAN be used as leverage in negotiation. For example, the atty told me that he could go to H's atty and say "Look, we have nasty proof of a lengthy affair, occurring sometimes in front of the children. I think lwb has been through enough. Instead of 50/50 on the house, why don't we talk 30% to H"....
And, yes, no more about the @$#^&# panties. (It p*sses me off even more that she actually got to me with such a shallow ploy.)
<Update>
I had a great afternoon, yesterday, with my two S's at UNC where they we having the local Legopalooza event -- for Lego fans (plastic building brick toys, folks, not the brand of frozen waffles.) S7, as I've mentioned, is a real fanatic. And I recently joined the Yahoo group for NCLUG (North Carolina Lego Users Group) that held the event this weekend.
We also went last year to Legopalooza -- it was a bit different for us this year in that W was not with us. The boys didn't seem to notice though, although S7 also remembered that we also saw the "Magic Tree House" show in the Planetarium that day as well. My, how things change in such a short time.
Friday, W had also given me (aside from the afore-mentioned unmentionable) copies of her W2 and of her most recent paycheck stub. I think, given the actual numbers now, she's going to be amazed at the fact that the state formula for child support suggests my child support payment to her should be slightly less than half of what she originally expected me to pay. For that one reason alone (and there are several), I am soooooo very glad I never signed any of her Separation Agreements she tried to coerce me into signing.
Right now S3 is taking a much needed afternoon nap, and S7 is engrossed into -- you guessed it -- building Legos. I had managed to get him to write a nice page of five sentences this morning before church. It is apparently going to be a trying ordeal to get him to perform this particular task each time, but I hope with practice he will get more accustomed to it. Building a new Lego set is his reward for completing his work, even though he's currently tracked-out of school for now -- he's as happy as a lark now.
The Lego event sounds like a lot of fun!! I am fascinated by the crazy things that people build with Lego's.
Glad to hear the news on the finances, too - that must be a relief. Bet it will be a bit of a shock to your W.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Your W will not be pleased, as she is expecting to live just as she is now after a D. Good for you for holding your ground with the agreements she is wanting you to sign. No wonder she has been pushing, how sad.
As if I didn't need any more proof to convince me of my W having lost her mind, I have been trying for the life of me to figure out what has gotten into her tonight. W has allowed my 2 small boys to stay up tonight to watch the Super Bowl.
I cannot begin to tell you how other worldly and out-of-character this is for my W. In the 17 years I've know her, she has shown virtually no interest in the sport, and seemed to just pass it off as another mindless pastime. But as for professional sports, well, she has as shown as much contempt for the culture of modern pro sports as one can. And with regards to the Super Bowl, while she might have caught some of the game with me in the past, just to see some of the commercials, she wasn't that interested. But ever since the Janet Jackson incident back in '04, my W was adamant that our S's would never be exposed to the "degrading filth" that has infested pro sports.
Now, the same woman who has chastised me for keeping my S's up late on New Year's Eve, is now keeping them up late this very night to watch this sporting event? And this is the same woman who was prompted to write a letter of complaint to CBS and to the FCC saying she was supporting a boycott of the NFL and a fine against CBS Sports?
WTH?!??????
Only thing I can fathom is that the OM must be a football fan or something, 'cause this don't make any sense.
NC, I didn't know you had a brother that lives in Little Rock. I'm about 40 minutes south of LR. If you decide to go we should seriously consider driving together from LR to Memphis.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
