Wife has filed, and on we go

[micoms]

Christa,

When I told her I still wanted to work on it she didn't say anything at first then said I don't know, not right now. She said she's afraid I'll get my hopes up if we see each other, I'll think she will be coming back. I did tell her I see a change in her, she's not asleep as much, that I thought she was suffering from depression and looks to be leaving it behind.

I'd like to keep the chevy but have no money to buy her half out, the operation took care of our savings. One thing she says she is going to do is go two years without insurance! I told her I thought I was in great health until my heart problem. The bills came up to probably 200K. Told her that something like that would bury her in debt for the rest of her life.

My sons have always said they want the Chevy when I pass, S27 is following in my steps, I used to be an auto mechanic before I got into the elevator trade. He works for a Chevy dealership. D24 even said she'd like to have it! All our kids know how to drive a stick, made sure their first car was one.

Mike

[christarn]

Can you sell it to your son for an insanely cheap price? Is your W's name on the title? Sorry, just trying to help you find a way to keep it in your family. I had to watch many items my dad had worked so hard for be auctioned after he past, it was one of the hardest days of my life. Do you think your wife would listen if you tried to explain to her that your Son would like the car, and you don't want to sell it? i'm sorry I'm obsessed with your car!! I just hate to think that someday, you will or she will, or your kids will so regret that it was sold. Just my thoughts!

I agree your wife seems to be coming out of her hole. I know she probably doesn't think your changes will stick, continue the path you are on, let her continue to see the changes....keep your chin up!

hugs,
Christa

[micoms]

Christa,

Her atty would be all over that move if I sold it cheap. I had been thinking about selling it to get a 68 mustang fastback. In my college days I had a 68 Shelby. Can't afford one of those these days but I could buy a fastback and clone it to a Shelby.

I had something happen Tuesday, I ran into an old female friend at a hotel where we take care of the elevators. We agreed to meet that evening for drinks at the lounge at her hotel. We had a good time catching up on each other. She's going through a D also. Well she ended up having one too many and I had to help her up to her room. She wanted me to stay, I told her it was the alcohol talking, and wished her good night. The next day she called me and thanked me for leaving and wants to see each other again when she's in town next. It was good to feel wanted again.

I know I don't need to get into another R with someone else at this time but it is tempting.

Mike

[kturnernc]

Be careful with the selling of the car. Her lawyer may try to say that you still owe her half of what it was worth. Especially since you had not consulted her and tried to be sneaky. I would be very careful about that. You may want to talk to your lawyer about options with this before you do anything.

And I agree that you did well with your friend. Being lonely sucks and if nothing else, you have earned points in her book for being a gentleman. If it goes somewhere after this, great. If not, you have a good friend.

[micoms]

kturnernc,

Yes, selling the Chevy cheap would get me in some hot water I'm sure.

My friend has called me almost every day since drinks while she was in town, maybe something there?

Saturday night my GS spent the night with Papaw, it was a blast. He chased the dog and the dog chased him around the house. Got on the internet and got some songs he likes. I had to go to bed early sun, Jr kept waking me up with his kicking, hitting, rolling around and crowding me to the side of the bed,LOL.

When W was over the house she asked me why the boys don't call her. I told her that I had told her twice that they call her and she doesn't return their calls. She said something about her caller ID not working, but she can always call them. She thinks they hate her for doing what she's doing. I said no, they have given up, you never return their calls. Part of MLC, is withdrawing from everyone. She has been to S27's house three times in 5 weeks, after not visiting him at his house for over a year.


k what part of NC you in, Ive got a cousin who is a research professor at Wake Forest.

Mike

[grid, lost]

My friend has called me almost every day since drinks while she was in town, maybe something there?

Hi Mike,
So nice to learn there still are guys around who know what the word, gentleman means and lives up to it.
At least one less lonely soul or two yes????

D, and the break up of relationship is so depresssing. H just called to say he would be in town on Thurs. and would help me move heavy stuff for me. HU! I told him, "may not be in town that day and have been trying to connect with you on times and dates but you just blew me off". H was a bit taken back and then I would not tell him my plans etc.
I can tell my behavior sets him back, being kept in the dark, plus hurts a bit. What do you think Mike? I tried being sensitive to him and his MLC, got me no respect, so now I just cut him off at the knees. Do you think forcing him to turn himself around or else write me out of his life is the way to go?

How do guys feel when the ladies do not let them into their life as they plan? will he just drift further away or start to miss what he can't have?
oops, almost forgot. Mike I'm happy you know the ladies will not turn their backs on you. You need to be assured you are still aloveable person.
But again, I have to ask "ALL of us reading my post". What are we trying to do here? Support each other in standing and trying to recover our Ms? Or, are we supporting each other in starting different lives with new partners?
Guess have to say, I am feeling really confussed lately. Just my thoughts and not judging anyone else. God knows, I do not have the right to judge another, ever.
grid, lost

[grid, lost]

selling the Chevy

Mike,
Can't you and W split the cost to have Chevy appraised and then figure out what her 50% worth is.???
That way, FMV will have been determined by independent third party, Chevy is open to all of family to purchase if they wish and W will not feel she has been cheated.
just my thought.
grid, lost

[christarn]

Mike, drinks with an old friend....nice!! Good for you not going into her room! what a gentlmen, and very debonaire(sp?)! I'm proud of you!

We still need to figure out a way for you not to have to sell the car....I'm so way obsessed with this. I think it's because I have lost both of my parents, and something as awesomely cool as that car, is priceless, not only to you, but to your kids. It's been such a nostalgic part of your family. Do you think if one of your children asks your wife for the car so it won't be a part of the D settlement, so that your grandkids can enjoy it and have fun with it, like they did, she(w) would soften any? Oh, if I could only talk to your W....I would so knock or talk some sense into her!!!LOL

Ok I will quit obsessing about the car for a moment! As for my sitch, the H as cooled for the moment, you have to love this one step forward 2 steps back kind of jive!! So I text mesg him and wished him and the pups a happy Easter, we mesgd back and forth for about 45 minutes...that was nice. I ended it on a high note, and said I had stuff to get done, needed to go. He took a picture of the pups and sent it to me. I thought that was nice. I do want to run something rather strange by you, for male input. Last friday, me and a friend were on our way to get groceries, 4:30 in the evening, and I saw my H stopping by my local pub. I find this EXTEMELY EXTREMELY...did I say EXTREMELY (LOL)...odd, for a couple reasons, first he doesn't work in the town where I live(or at least last time we talked he didn't), second, in order for him to come by this way he would have to take the VERY long way home, third, when I used to meet up with him and his union buddies for drinks after work on fridays, there were 2 pubs they went to, this was NOT one of them, and lastly, I didn't see any other union type vehicles(work vans/trucks etc) in the parking lot. I know I am a typical woman and way overanylize everything. But this particular watering hole, is 3 blocks from my house, and when he and I were together (10years) we NEVER went there. And out of our ten years, he lived in this town for 3, never did we go to this particular pub. And just to up the anty a little, he does know this is where me and my friends go for drinks. Ok, so are you thinking this is odd...or is it just me?? Oh and one more thing...we were only at the store for an hour, and he was already gone. Now, if you met up with your buddies back when you were 30 for drinks on a friday, did you stop at the watering hole for one or two beers and leave...or did you stay and BS for a while? Even when I would hang out with him and his friends, it was at least a 2-3 hour ordeal. Sorry I'm rambling!! Input please!! I just think it is odd odd odd

Ok, I'm done with my story now!! hope you are doing good, how is the arm? Are you still doing PT/OT?? Did they do an MRI yet..if not you need one...just a nurses advice!LOL

take care (hugs)
Christa

[micoms]

Christa,

Don't know if W would go for giving the 57 to one of the boys, right now she seems to be about the money she can get in her hands. She plans on bolting from D's house as soon as she gets support money from me. D's BF is unemployed and without W's paying rent they will probably loose the house.

Your sich I think H was maybe trying to "accidentally" run into you. Don't know if it was to catch you with another man or to see you, can't get inside of his head. I was never thew one to go with the guys after work to drink, I'd rather have been home with W and the kids. I think in all the years I went to 2 topping out parties and for drinks once. The guys I worked with when I did construction would leave work and close the bars down, not my cup of tea.

The shoulder is feeling better, I'm on anti-inflammatory's. Done with cardiac rehab, I'll get my exercise reffing soccer games for now. I did get a MRI. doc scheduled one because I had limited range of motion. Starting therapy on it, didn't have time while doing cardiac.

Mike

[micoms]

Grid,

I think not being readily available to H is good DBing. Maybe let him come by for a half an hour then you have to meet friends and leave. I don't think it's cutting him off at the knees or forcing him to cut you out. He needs to see for you life goes on, he's been used to you being available whenever he comes around like your world revolves around hi. This might lead him to think you might be moving on, won't be available when he's ready.

My friend has called me about every night and I have called her a couple of times. She wants to see me again when she comes to town. I did take her to her room she had a hard time walking, put her on the bad and left. She didn't remember much she said. It feels nice to be wanted by someone again.

W came to the house to make a list of what she wants fron the house. I asked her to be my date for a friends sons wedding, she said she's spending the night with her GF, but will dance with me. She then asked why I don't bring who I am dating. I told her I'm not she said she knows I am. I'm thinking about it but wouldn't pick a friends sons wedding to show up where W is with another female on my arm. That night is about the bride and groom not about our drama.

Mike