I don't get it LL, what are out H's gaining by not putting in a little effort to fill our physical touch love tanks?
What do they have to lose? A quick grab from behind...a nibble on the neck, a GOOD kiss, a wink, a "hey, you're hot!", ...these are not huge things are they???
And what do they have to gain? LOTS! Much happier and less resentful W's. Sigh....
Funny you should mention that whole ILY but I'm Not ILWY thing. When my H told me that, I think he thought it was the worst thing he could tell me, wrong! Did he honestly think that I'd retained that "in love" feeling after all these years of neglect???
But like you, I chose to love, and to honour my committment.
Oh well, perhaps we can trade tips on what works for us in this "delicate" area of our M's.
suppose I should take some comfort in knowing that h held onto that note along with many many other written long before it and long after it....that's gotta mean something right?? even if his mom was the one to find them and put them in a bag...he's still got them after all theese years...so maybe he doesn't ponder them read them try to make any sense of things...maybe that's a good thing...cause there's certainly fuel there for the fire of us not belonging together.
so anyway...planning to go out to a movie tonight...was looking at pre-views...phone booth looked kinda neat till I realized the guy was being put on the spot for having an affair...nope don't think I want to see that one....so what about basic...well that might just remind me of what's going on in the world...so how about dreamcatcher....oh gee maybe that'll bring us back to the days while we watched the x files and started to believe alien conspiracy was afoot!! maybe we'll just be ignorant and see old school...na!! I'll just let h pick and go with the flow...I'm a big girl I can handle whatever message or theme they want to throw at me...can h??
Just got done reading your letter you wrote when you were 20! If you would have sent me that letter, I would have thought you were a nut case, and would have run then! If my W had sent me that letter a year ago, my response probably would have been the same. NOW TOO LITTLE TO LATE I know much better! The most enlightening book I have read since the bomb is "What Women Want Men To Know" You were trying to CONNECT! Most men don't get it! OG got it! ("W" says OG "could write the book on how to treat women") I didn't get it! I will in my next M.
"W" said something crazy just before she left to fu** OG. (besides "OOPS") She talked about D, mediation, visiting her lawyer, money, bag lady, taxes, etc. Then she looked me (sort of assuringly) and said "Mama has a funny way of doing things"?????????? Trying to find something positive in that, I feel like she wants our M too work, but needs to find out on her own, maybe wants the D, then start over????? Or is it just another of my fantasies? I've had plenty about her since she left, but NONE have come true, and probably never will! Maybe they will w/Ms Chevy!
LL, buy that book for H! If you feel like me, "what the he**"
Quote: If you would have sent me that letter, I would have thought you were a nut case, and would have run then!
gee thanks tony!!!
you don't know how many notes include me calling myself nuts...apologizing for being insecure...needy...etc...h never ran away...but he never did anything to change his behaviour...one day was to suffice a week...2 weeks vaca was to suffice the year...promises of it'll be better next season...things will be better then...well they didn't get better and when I accepted that they wouldn't and started to take comfort in what was...I was slapped by the knowledge of ow!!
so you see...I know I'm a nut bag....wouldn't be here if I wasn't...maybe after the first letter like that I wrote...I should have run away...but it seemed whenever I did...h would do some of the things I wanted...only to again get complacant.
I'm not a nut...I just want equal respect...I'll scratch your back you scratch mine...give and take...h is just starting to get this...he may not want to hug me and cuddle cause it just isn't always his thing...but if he does...he will have a happier w and therefore be a happier h...ta da...now if he had just understood that 10 years ago we wouldn't be in this mess!!!
You say H has no set time he wants sex. Are you sure, or maybe tell us when in the last 2 months when, maybe a pattern will emerge.
He ain't a book person, get audio for him.
Are you going on a date once a week?
poe
trust me....there is no pattern...even h himself would tell you that...not time of day...events...how time is spent...what I'm wearing or not wearing...there is no pattern with him.
ya ya ya whatever....stbwaw who had a wah...I aint going anywhere and I'm trying to communicate to h the possiblity of my becomming a waw and he is trying to do the best he can to keep that from happening...things are looking better...we'll see what happens.
ny 
