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Ohio_Mark #1299937 12/19/07 01:22 AM
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saffie, don't get your whips out for Mr. Ohio_Mark just yet....I am sure he didn't mean it the way you read it. Darn Internet. I can see what he meant that women are naturally going to always be concerned that their children are taken care of and safe. It might be instinct for some women to think that first. Even if a woman thinks that first, it doesn't mean that she won't go out and fight for it herself, like your friend. Its just that initial thought..

LL44 #1299951 12/19/07 01:41 AM
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Hi guys,

I can understand what you are all saying. I myself in my moments of anger lean towards the gender thing. Guess we all have our reasons.

But I am sure of one thing though, being all my life pragmatic, I have learned lately all the paradigms go away once we find that what we thought that could never happen to us, can actualy happen and makes no sense. When it's about love, there's no Mars and Venus, we are all from Earth.


M 10 years
Me: 34 y
H : 35 y

Bomb: March/07
Ohio_Mark #1300186 12/19/07 07:27 AM
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I'm sorry Mark if I came on too strong. I was really beat up last night about my friend and your comment just made me flip.

What I wrote was the first thing I thought about when I woke up this morning - so I guess I knew I'd over reacted - sorry.

I guess a more temperate view would be that most of us crave security if we can have it, but not all of us do it the same way and it means different things to dufferent people. For a lot of us integrity goes hand in hand with it - I guess we wouldn't be here otherwise. If your wife were THAT unhappy I think she would make the bid for the 'escape' you mentioned she wanted before. She doesn't so things can't be 'that bad' for her. Pity she can't work on improving things because everyone in the family would benefit.

My friend tried that for years and just kept getting knocked back. I guess I was having one of those 'Life's too short to.....' days yesterday.


Saffie
me 46
H 46
M in 1986
D20,D18,S16,D13
H's A 01/05 to 07/06
H recommitted to M 07/06
renewed vows 09/06
Going from strength to strength
saffie #1300230 12/19/07 12:03 PM
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Saffie, Sorry to hear about your friend - what a tragedy. Hang in there!


Thread #10
22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07
Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
Rob1231 #1300242 12/19/07 12:35 PM
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Thanks Rob


Saffie
me 46
H 46
M in 1986
D20,D18,S16,D13
H's A 01/05 to 07/06
H recommitted to M 07/06
renewed vows 09/06
Going from strength to strength
saffie #1300284 12/19/07 01:35 PM
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Saffie, it was obvious to everybody here who knows you that you had a bad day, and what you wrote wasn't "you."

It was not a good day for you, and it's OK if I was your punching bag for a few minutes. I'm OK with it...I can take it!!!


Me: 48
Divorce final May 2010
B: 19
B: 15
G: 9


Ohio_Mark #1300318 12/19/07 02:14 PM
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Thanks for being so understanding Mark. \:\)

And I am still sorry.


Saffie
me 46
H 46
M in 1986
D20,D18,S16,D13
H's A 01/05 to 07/06
H recommitted to M 07/06
renewed vows 09/06
Going from strength to strength
saffie #1300635 12/19/07 05:53 PM
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Hi Mark,

Just checking in on you... Hope you are doing ok.

Tal:)


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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I'm OK.

Still stinging from Saffie's rebuke.

OK, OK, just kidding!!!! I am not thin-skinned.... Look no further than the thick-skinned response I am having to my cheating wife.

We are still in limbo. I am convinced that my wife will begin moving forward with the divorce after 1 January. We are polite to each other. No flirting, no pursuing. Nothing has changed.


Me: 48
Divorce final May 2010
B: 19
B: 15
G: 9


Ohio_Mark #1300869 12/19/07 09:10 PM
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Sorry to hear that. I wish things were different for you.

Thick-skinned.. ok that is an understatement. You have to be for what you are going through.

\:\)

tal


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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