Well, she didnt call me back yesterday, but I know when she gets busy, she gets really busy. On a good note, she emailed me today to ask my opinion on a new cell phone. Its something still so Ill be happy with it. =)
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Oh, I also figured Id tell you all about a positive step Im doing for myself as well. Some mutual friends planned a ski/boarding trip for Saturday and I am going even though my GF and her sisters are backing out.
I also started to work out a little. I lost 25 lbs since I was first hit with the bomb when she began to lose hope about us. Now that I am much more trim and she has noticed, Im going to go the extra mile and become a stud! ha ha. I want her to start sweating after me!
Going to school again, losing wieght and excercising, hanging out more with friends, being funny and upbeat again.... how can she resist?! Thats the way Im going to look at it. =)
Oh, and she emailed me a few more times about cell phones and they were longer and longer so thats a good thing. She still looks to me for advice.
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Hi Mark - sorry it has taken me a few days to get over to your thread. It seems that your GF, like my W, is firmly planted on the Fence. I reading your thread I have notice some positives and it seems you are getting lots of good advice.
I also agree that in the innitiating contact you should let her do most of it. I have generally innitiated contact once for every 4 or 5 times C calls or IM's me. I am always upbeat and happy when she calls or IMs as I want her to enjoy the contact and look forward to the next one. keep on doing what is working and don't expect things to turn around over night. Remember one step at a time.
Ok, well its monday so here is an update for the weekend.
Friday: I went home after work and signed onto AOL. My GF im me and we were talking for a while just about regular stuff and she was getting ready to go out with friends in the city. Anyways, Im not happy about her guy friends going. I just dont trust them from stories Ive heard in the past, but I cant let that get to me. She may be friends with them but thats it. Anyways, I went out with some friends and told her I was going out but didnt say where and with who and I signed off cause she was away from her PC and came back later after i left to see my message.
Saturday: Went snowboarding with friends. She couldnt make it so I went anyways to have a good time which I did.
Sunday: I was weak and called her and mentioned doing something with her. I went to drop off something and stayed for a little and helped her and her family take down x-mas decorations but then I left after an hour because she said she was tired and was just gonna do laundry and stuff. I was a little upset over this though. She is always tired. Even when she hangs out with her friends, she tells me how tired she is but she still goes out anyways.
Monday: she emailed me a couple times to show me cell phones she likes. At least it shows some hought of me on her end.
New Goals: After getting great results from her last weekend, and then nothing much this weekend, Ive decided Im going to continue to hang out with my friends more and try to be less available to her and let her ask me to make plans. I will call her once in a while still, but I think I need to stop trying to make plans with her because I get upset when it doesnt happen the way I want.
Still keeping the faith!!
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
I was talking to GF's sister last night on AOL and I was telling her about my snowboarding trip this weekend and she said she knew all about it because my GF told her.
Nothing major but I know she is talking about me and she made it sound like im really really good. Maybe she is proud of me but just afraid to let her wall down all the way with me.
I have started going back to school also for my bachelors degree which she is very proud of and Im taking a College Algebra course which is my worst subject and she loves math. Anyways, when she heard I passed the algebra part of the school entrance test she was rally proud of me. Anyways, I have my first test in this class tommorow and Ive been studying hard and Im hoping to get an A to impress her. =)
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Well, I got a 98 on my test but she doesnt know yet. I havent really talked to her last week. I was keeping dark a bit because Chinese New Year was this weekend and she told me she was planning on telling her family about us by then, especailly since her Mom was coming home. I did send her a Chinese New YEar card on the 15th to her job and think shell get it today. Since we didnt talk, i wanted to show her I am still there and not ignoring her, just giving her some time.
I also hope that giving her time once in a while can make her reflect. Im gonna help her again today and send her some new job listings to help her search. Just to show her Im here and willing to help her out when she needs me.
Monday I had aol on but didnt realize it and she IM me when i was away. She just said "hello..." but signed off 10 minutes before I went on. Well, Im a little down after her not contacting me, but I am going to remember to be strong and take what she said about this taking time and it not being too late seriously and not waste any second chances she is giving me. Im a little down from hardly seeing her the past 2 weeks but I must have faith. Wish me luck everyone!
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Well im back with another update. She responded to my emails to her with job information. She started off by saying "hello stranger". She says that becasue other than brief emails last monday we have not talked all week since I saw her for an hour on Sunday a week ago.
BAsically she asked me how my 3 day weekend was and some money problems she is having. It was a longer email than what she was sending in the past so thats good I guess. She also emailed me her cover letter and wanted my opinion on it. Still shows she cares what I think so thats good too.
Her reffering to me as "stranger" makes me wonder if she wants me to contact her more, but why cant she make more of an effort, especially since Im trying to give her the space she wanted yet still be her friend. I wish she could be clearer and tell me what she wants of me. It has been rough not hearing her voice or seeing her all week. felt like an eternity.
Any suggestions on if i should contact her more or not? She is the type of person who doesnt always make plans but gets invited to do things. And if we do go out, I have to think of something fun for a change. Going to the mall or whatever cant get very exciting.
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
well we emailed eachother again later and around 4:30 she called me and we talked until 5pm when i left work. It was an ok talk but she was sidetracked by talking on AOL to her sisters about a ski trip they are all planning in february. She was grumpy and frustrated over things with her sister and I tried to make it better but it was difficult. We talked about a few things and I mentioned several times that I would let her go because she is busy and she kept saying its ok, and eventually she was joking with me and saying things like, "dont you wanna talk to me?" So we spoke more and I told her about my test in college algebra and her tone changed into a much happier one.
Well, back to this ski trip, she is inviting me, but she made a comment about not knowing who i will hang out with because im a decent snowboarder but her and her friends will be mainly on the bunny hill probably. But later she mentioned about who ill talk to at the lodge cause a bunch of people are going there with us and sharing a cabin. Anyways, i was a little annoyed and though why doesnt she want to hang out with me at all but invite me, and i said well id hang out with you and your sisters and everyone. Basically she seemed defensive and to be putting up a tough side until i offered to hang up then she didnt want to let me go. But most importantly, she said that she was afraid her sisters would be on her back about me and her getting together that weekend and I said maybe i shouldnt go cause it would be easier and she said "NOOOOO!" very loud and upset sounding.
Maybe not showing her much attention this past week touched a small nerve. Well im going to focus on the fact she was upset when i offered not to come and how she wanted to pro-long the phone call. What do you guys think?
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Well, I have just been thinking latley how I did not make contact with GF last week at all nor did she make an attempt. Of course I missed her and wanted to call many times but I did several things to keep busy. Anyways, as soon as I do talk to her I get all messed up inside and butterflies in my stomach again. This sucks because its like it was when I first fell for her, but after being together for over 7 years, I feel so far away from her.
Sorry, just venting. I guess I have to work on expecting too much. I know it has now been 8 months but I only began changing and DB'ing since early november. But 2 weekes ago she did tell me she wont say its too late and this is going to take time so Im gonna stop being a wimp and toughen up again! I love her and will stay focused and be a man!
Wow, that sure sounds good now but with valentines quickly and 1 week after should have been our 8 yr anniversarry. Not sure how I will cope in february, but I guess a lot can happen until then, and who knows, maybe the thought of all that is on her mind as well.
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
