Wow, your a lifesaver. Its funny how such few words can give me hope. I just start getting emotional and feeling like things are hopeless when even I see those positive signs but I cant stay as solution oriented as I need to be. Thanks so much . It means a lot to have someone supporting me.
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Oh, a few more things. Well, when we were out at the mall on Saturday, she was mostly shopping for new underware and asking my opinion on looks and sizes and she was holding them up to her and everything. Of course it drove me nuts because I would give anything to be intimate with her again. But This is probably a good sign right? She asked me if its wierd that shes asking my advice and I said I didnt mind at all. Im glad she feels like she can do this with me still, and she did make a comment how no o ne is going to see them anyways. =) If i cant, I sure as hell dont want anyone else too!
Also, when we were talking last night, she made a comment how when she is out with her friends and Im not around, she feels free, like she doesnt have to worry about me. I was understanding and told her its ok because I know when we are together, I put all my focus on you, and sometimes when u are with friends you just want to not worry about that and be more free. It bothered me a lttle, but I was supportive and I just hope I can become a really good friend to her and she can open up to me once more.
The only thing that also pisses me off, is two of her old friends from high school who she has probably seen maybe 4 times in the past 5 years TOPS, told her they didnt see her with me anyways. What the hell do they know? They arent even close to her anymore. But she told me she deffended me to them because they said I was quiet and not as loud, but I was more shy when I knew them which was many years ago. And she told them that too. Anyways, im just ranting now so Ill go.
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Hey everyone, Well, I was luckily able to meet up with some friends last night to get my mind off of things, but one thing I forgot to mention was when we were together Saturday night she got a phone call but she ignored it. And not to much later she decided she wanted to go to bed so I left but I was thinking she wanted me to leave so she could use the phone.
Anyways, When i called her later that night, I asked her if she felt she had to wait for me to leave to use the phone and she said yes, because it was her friend Nadeem that called, but she didnt know who it was until after I left. Anyways, she called him and he invited her to a Knicks vs. Nets basketball game in the city because he had an extra ticket.
I know he is just her friend but I found out while on the phone with her that he broke up with his girlfriend and I know he told my GF he had feelings for her over aa year ago, but eventually took it back, and I think thats because he was shot down by my GF. I still dont trust him and I hate it when she see's him.
When we talked on Saturday, she told me how she just is enjoying hanging out with friends without responsibilties right now. She said that when I would be with her and her friends in the past she felt like she needed to focus on me and ignore her friends, which I understand because I felt the same but it didnt bother me as much. I guess this fact proves that she isnt out looking for some new man in her life now.
DAMNIT!! I feel like screaming! Im so confused and frustrated! WHY?! I am dying to call her and ask her about the basketball game on Sunday but I also partially feel like I should wait to hear from her, but Im also scared that I may have scared her off with our talk we had this weekend.
I know we steered clear of discussing working on our relationship but Im still afraid I said something wrong. I wish I could read her damn mind.
Oh, one more thing. Does anyone remember the movie situation? How she seemed upset when I saw The Last Samurai without her, and she said she wasnt mad I saw it without her because she knows I need to do things without her, but she was thinking more of WHO did I see it with. I guess she thought I was going with some girl.
I dont know why she would think that because I dont even have any girl friends. At least she is still jealous. Sorry to ramble. Its a habbit of mine. I dont even let my therapist say much when we have our sessions.
I was just wondering if there is anyone out there that would'nt mind trading emails with me? I just feel that sometimes I cant always get the support Im looking for here for a few days or a week and I was thinking if someone doesnt mind, maybe i can email them asking for opinions and so on. If you are interested, my email is markyd23@yahoo.com . Thanks!
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Every woman's different, whether you're mysterious about who you went with or flat out tell her "You're the only one I want." there are too possible reactions. One, they pull closer to you, because they think you're out with someone else and they might lose you, or they use that to justify their leaving.
If you take the "You're the only one I want." approach, they can pull closer because it makes them realize how much you care about them, or they can pull away because they know you're always a good backup then.
You know, I talked to my therapist last night and she said the same thing so Im basically going to stay clear of telling her that outright. She also told me it wouldnt hurt for me to contact her once in a while instead of always waiting for her, but not to make a habbit out of it. After all, she called me a lot to say the least this past weekend and asked me out twice. So, it seems like she opened up a door about calling me for no reason like we used to and just talk.
I didnt talk to her since Saturday night and she went to that basketball game with her friend on Sunday so I figured Id call her and say hello tonight and hopefully break into a good length conversation.
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Im just freaking out over something. First of all, my GF is Chinese and Chinese New YEar is at the end of January. I am always invited to her aunts house for the celebration, but when we spoke the other night at her house and she was telling me how she wants to tell her family about us by that date, she also mentioned that she doesnt want me to come, even if her family invites me. I guess this is just part of her wanting to be recognized as an individual, but Im still hurt and rejected from that.
Do you think the other things she said are important enough to give me hope and not worry about this situation? Please help me defeat this negative self talk inside of me.
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Well, after advice from my counsler, I decided to give her a call so she doesnt feel that she is the only one making contact to me.
Well, I called her around 10:45 and she was on the bus home from the city. she said she would call me when she got home. I was bothered at first thinking who was she with but I was able to look over my recent positive steps and I prayed a little and I was able to block my negative thoughts.
Anyways, when we talked she told me about her night without me asking. To my relief she was just out to dinner with a girl friend of hers. We talked a bit and I asked her about Sunday going to the basketball game with her friend, who happens to be a guy but nothing is going on, but i still get jealous. anyways, I didnt let her see any jealousy and she actually told me she liked it but was tired and didnt have as much fun as when I took her to a football game . =)
Also, I told her I saw part of the basketball game cause I was at a bar, but I didnt tell her who and she wound up asking me who I was with later. ha ha, she is doing what I used to do. Always asking me who Im with when I go out. =) I gotta go out more!
Well, we talked about other things for a little while and joked around but she was really tired and asked me if I can call her at work tommorow so I guess I will, right? She asked me to, but at the same time I dont want to come on too strong. Well, it was another good moment. I've learned tp become Mr. Upbeat around her and Im gonna keep going! Wish me luck, and you guys think I should call her tommorow or wait?
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
I did call her at work right before lunch, but got her machine. Left a message and she called right back. Spoke for 5 minutes and she got another call and asked if she can call me back. I told her I was on my way out to lunch and to call later so I'll see if she calls but the short conversation we did have was good so Ill try to be happy with that.
I know she can get busy at work so I will try not to think about it if she doesnt call me. Im just playing the tape in my head of what she told me this weekend whenever I have doubts about it taking time and its not too late.
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
