Well, everyone is different, but I would say that if I was showing a man my new underwear and asking lingerie opinions, I was trying to be enticing and flirtatious. Other than the hugs she gave you, has she initiated anyother time for affection or have you?
My main story is under the infidelity forum. It would great to a man's opinion on the actions vs. words coming from my H. I have some great support there......but a man's opinion is always appreciated!!
Hmmm. She hasnt really done anything more than that but we havent seen eachother much latley becaus eI started to back off much more because that night she hugged me, the following weekend I saw her for my birthday and we mainly went out to celebrate her sisters b-day. I didnt get much attention and got upset so I was pouting which I know she noticed.
The weekend after that we went to the Halloween parade in NYC and slept over at her sisters apartment. I slept on the floor and she shared a bed with another girl. When that girl woke up she asked me if I wanted to lay down in the bed and later that day she made me something to eat too. I screwed up at dinner cause she was text messaging someone and I had to be nosy and ask who shes talking to. This has been a main problem for me and she didnt like it. I apologized and I think she moved on.
Later that night we went to another party and we were seperated at the table but she text messaged me a few times which made me happy but then I got upset over time cause she was hanging with one of her friends more than me. and then she had a phone call and I was getting jealous and anxious to know who it was. After that I became quiet and she noticed it again. She came over to me and tried to joke around with me too. I had a toy gun on me cause it was a costume party and she made a very adult gesture to the gun too which made me laugh but I was still upset.
After that night I talked to her about our relationship and I asked her if there is anything she isnt telling me to not hurt my feelings. ( I was being paranoid by the phone use she made and was afraid she had feelings for someone else, ehich I REALLY REALLY dont believe logically) she told me just that she loves me so much but isnt in love with me which I assumed most of the time since we have been on a break. If she had the loving feelings we would be back together.
After that I backed off a lot and I only saw her 3 times. She asked me out once, another day I came over cause of her birthday and another night i had to drop something off and she seemed happy to see me.
During our break there were moments where we would hug or she would kis me on the cheek one night while on vacation and asked me to share the same bed with her. Also on vacation she held my hand once and joined me in a hammock. I screwed up many times after that though because I would rush things.
I think if I can be patient, this could work. Sorry to ramble but there is so much to tell. I will go look for your situation now. Thanks!
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Well, she seems to really confused. It seems that she wants you in her life, then she's not really sure. Keep up whatever you are doing, it sounds like you are doing really well. Sad as it is, patience is key. I wish they sold patience in a bottle..........
ha ha, I agree! You know how this all started? there was an argument that caused the initial break but a week earlier her mother got re-located to North Carolina for work and on our break her family was on her back a lot about her going out and questioning where I am and practically trying to cotroll her. She had pressure from her family and me and I think it was rough. Anyways, She hasnt told her family yet because they love me so much and she is afraid of them coming down hard on her. I also hope its because she doesnt want to admit it yet either. But I do think if she tells them, I can talk to them alone sometime and explain not to give her a hard time so that she isnt pressured.
I dont think she wants me out of her life but is trying to figure out some other issues in her life. She also wants to move into New York City where she works, we both live in new jersey now. I mentioned once I wish i could move in with her and she liked the idea but My family would be really against it so i ruled it out and eventually I even didnt show support for her move which hurt her. I screwed up a lot by not being there for her but now is my final chance. I want to go slow and not pressure her but at the same time I want to spend time with her to remind her how I can be now that I am stronger emotionally.
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Well, I just read over your situation and I can only imagine how difficult this is. But I agree that I think your h view is being clouded right now and he is being defensive since you cought him. I think you need to just be very nice to him and make him feel guilty. I know its hard but just put on an act. I think in time he will realize what he did was wrong and start to come around. You are in this for the long haul but I think you can do it! Just be patient as we always say here. And try to be as kind as you can to him even though he may not deserve it. Wish I could be more help.
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Marc- Thanks for checking it out. I think he is already feeling guilty and that is why he is going out of his way to do things for me. And I know that his anger is him being defensive. I am sure that he is ashamed of his behavior as he should be. I just feel like I am getting mixed messages from him and that he is playing head games as I stated in my thread. I don't know......that old patience in a bottle would sure come in handy right now!
I totally understand you! I bought a book about patience but I think I might return it. I was hoping for a quick cure but apparently there isnt one. I guess there is nothing we can do except keep waiting things out and have faith. Needless to say it wont be easy at all, but what other choice do we have? Keep up your good work and I wish you lots of luck. I hope I will have good things to report after this weekend since I will be seeing my GF Tommorow night for a concert and all day Friday.
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
I hope you have good things to report to. I get to spend about 1/2 today taking our daughter to Joslin in Boston. So, I get to ride up and back with H. This should be interesting, I am going to *try* to DB my butt off and not think of him and OW.
Im sure Im not saying anything new, but just try to look at him as a friend only and make sure you do some major thought stopping! I hope you have a good technique for this. If any thoughts come into your head, remember not to say anything because you know if you do it will put you back a few steps and you will regret it later.
I hope I can follow my own advice! I havent really seen or talked to her much this whole month so I hope it allows both of us to have a lot to talk about and I really hope she missed me. Mornings are always rough for me. I am a little pessimistic right now but Im gonna go work on getting those thoughts out and pump myself up for tonight. I look forward to hearing how things go with you! Take care!
Anything worth having is worth working HARD for!
Making a New Move
Did anyone else but me have to smile when they read:
I bought a book about patience but I think I might return it. I was hoping for a quick cure but apparently there isn't one.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not laughing at you, Marc. I just think that it's funny that we all know that we need patience, but want a quick fix to get there! We're all in the same boat. Hang in there....
