My H and I had many disagreements. I felt it was normal. However, I would usually avoid conflict because when we did argue he would start to put me down and walk out the door and leave. Then the next day he would act as tho nothing had happened and all was well. I did not feel it was normal for him to act this way. I would retreat to the bedroom and hide so he woudln't leave. Now, that he has left me I am sorry I did not try to get him to talk about whatever it was and listen to him. I got defensive because he was defensive. It was always bitter. He has a son that he brought up who is 22 and a daughter his ex has raised that is 18. I have a daughter 12. When we got together I felt it was grand the way he and his son were so close. He gave his son everything and even wrote out his checks for him to pay his bills. Then I realized they were dependent on each other and their were times I was jealous because I was left behind while they did their thing. My mistake was to voice that opinion because he has never let me forget that I was jealous of his son. He even walked out of counseling when I brought it up and wouldn't go back. He has never really bonded with my daughter except to degrade her. I am closer and do more things with his daughter than he does. Sorry, I had something to say when I replied and I got caught up on this and forgot. I will try to read it once more an dreply again. I miss my family. 8 weeks is a long time without him. All the bad times but I saw a light at the tunnel.. I Just read Michelle's book too late, but I am still trying.
OK OK I got it now. All my life I have had disagreemensts that were never resolved. I hold in my anger then blow. I am 42yrs old now and am finally telling people just how I feel. With my H I was afraid of his anger so i would hide. Not good. He hated the silent treatment. I do not have a problem with agreeing to disagree. I think it is the easy way to get along. We are all different and it is normal to not see eye to eye on everything. Compromise is the key to life. I am looking for ways to change discussions with my H. He is instantly angry with me over anything anymore. I want to talk to him bad and have a decent conversation. It been 8weeks since he left and I have had NO contact in 2 weeks. I am scared to call or see him because I can't think, my heart beats out of my chest because I just want him to come home to me. I want to tell him what I read in Michelle's book and that I CAN fix our lives and we CAN be happy again. What do I do? Please, tell me something. I am waiting for my DB books to come in mail. I read Sex Starved Marriage( I had it for 3 months. If only I had read it before he left) but I need help now. Anything. Thank you
I have a similar situation. W's mom RULES her dad. W wants to rule me. I won't be a doormat either. If she cannot respect me and treat me as an equal, it IS over.
We haven't finalized the D yet so I still have a few months to try and save the relationship. But is takes two to tango and if she won't try at all I know it is over.
