The man who was actually D'd, said they both realized that the grass was not greener when they split. They started dating after 11 mos apart and remarried after 15mos. Gives me hope.
Happy Thankgiving
Mike
M 51 W 49 S26 S25 D24 D19 Married 27 yrs T over 30 S 7/12 D-bomb 9/26
Hey there, sounds like t-day went well...and what promising news from your friends at the bowling alley! A D couple who re-married...way cool! I have always said the grass isn't greener on the other side, there is just more to mow!!! My H text me both Weds, and Thurs...which has really got me a little shocked. He sounded in a good mood. So invited to my family's post t-day boozing (tommorrow) he said he mite join...figured it was better than the hell now I was expecting!!
What a boost on your PMA also from your friends at the bowling alley...all in all sounds like good things coming your way!
Did your wife notice any changes in you at t-day? Did she like the clothes/cologne thing?? I bet money it caught her eye!!! Speaking from a women's view! Take care, Christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
W had to work until 2, she seemed depressed. She disappeared a few times to talk or text on her phone. I wore dress clothes, not the usual blue jeans and a golf shirt. The dinner was good. I tried to be upbeat and happy.
D's BF had to leave about7PM, he was going to get his old job back but they withdrew the job after he gave 2 weeks notice to his current job. He is going to work with his cousin in Nashville. D24 and D19 drove him to meet his cousin halfway. Me, W, S25 and GS left behind. S left and I talked with W. I know against DB. I told her I've been trying to give her the space she didn't get when we first separated. I felt I had pushed her to the point of wanting a D by not. That in the last 2 mos I've taken a good look at my self and didn't like who I'd become. Told her our problems are lack of communication, we never argued and held things that upset us. I told her I am leaving the door open, if she wants to get back together. Told her if that's the case we should date and develope it slowly. At times she looked as if she was thinking about it, but at the end said she wants to still D. I told her I can understand that she is afraid she will get hurt again if things return to the way they are, but i see the things I need to do to prevent that.
So now I don't know if I've planted a seed for her to think about or just pushed her away farther.
when I talked to the couple that actually D'd, the woman told me she changed her mind when she realized being single wasn't what it was supposed to be and saw her ex out with a date. They dated for 3mos and remarried.
Guess I'll not contact her for a while, hope she thinks about things i daid and softens her heart on the D.
Mike
M 51 W 49 S26 S25 D24 D19 Married 27 yrs T over 30 S 7/12 D-bomb 9/26
M...sounds like things went well. I would have done the exact same thing in your shoes, talked a little, stated your feelings, and give her something to think about. I think sometimes we have to tell our H/W how we feel, otherwise how will the know? I also understand the whole "needing space thing," but at what cost? So I guess what I'm trying to say, is given the circumstances, she hung around, she was as at free will to leave, apparently there was a reason she lingered, she didn't get up and walk when you started the R talk...so I would say no harm done...just my 2 cents!!!!!!!
so my H didn't come out...but it was ok, i ended up having a great time with my family, and having to take care of my sister. Had he came, I would not have been able to help her, the man up stairs had a plan for me...and it was to take care of my sister!
take care of yourself! How are you feeling? Did t-day wipe you out?
christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
she's ok...just over did it on the booze...and she feels like a@# today!!!! Something tells me she will do it again!!! I know sometimes it feels like a backslide, but I sometimes think at least you got it off your chest,and how is she ever going to know if you don't state it...
christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
micoms, I think T day went really well. As Christarn says, W stayed and could have walked if she had wanted to. Be proud of yourself for being honest and telling W you are looking at yourself not her for change. Takes a lot off her shoulders.
I keep forgetting to tell H I want him to have the space he needs. You remembered and that had tobe reassuring to W. We all have to try and keep DB/DR
-Love of dogs, every time I loose a dog to the bridge,part of my heart goes too. Ever time a puppy/dog comes into my life,he gives me a part of his heart. If live my life long enough, in time I'll have the heart of a puppy. -unknown (w/character limit)
I thought after I told W that it was a mistake. If she is determined to D I guess it wouldn't make a difference but if she is on the fence maybe it's something to think about. I think i'm going to sign up for DB coaching this week. Maybe a little expert guidance would help.
Christa good to hear it was only over indulgance. I thought she might have had medical probblems. I think I might need a night of too much soon.
Everyone keep up the good work!
Mike
M 51 W 49 S26 S25 D24 D19 Married 27 yrs T over 30 S 7/12 D-bomb 9/26
My H text me both Weds, and Thurs...which has really got me a little shocked. He sounded in a good mood. So invited to my family's post t-day boozing (tommorrow) he said he mite join...figured it was better than the hell now I was expecting!!