Wife has filed, what do I do ?

[micoms]

Grid,

When I talked to W's atty(her cousin), he asked how I was doing from surgery. Told him fine physically, but down mentally due to not being able to do anything and D. Told him I don't want D, W does, he said he knows and hopes the best for us.

W's work isn't very good about weekends off, if she wants one she has to work 10 days straight. Follow up visits are every other Sat for 12 weeks.

I think W doesn't think I can change and is afraid if I do make changes they won't last and she will have to go through this again. I don't know how to assure her that won't happen.

Pizza night is coming soon! Probably in Feb. Can you freeze pizza and ship them like white Castles? My brother lived in S Cal and I sent him 100 White Castles. He said you would have thought he was dealing drugs with the amount of people in and out of his house for them.

Already talked to another company before I had my surgery, friend works there and said they were willing to pay over scale for some one for university hosp, many different makes of elevs, my specialty. The super wouldn't give me any extra, told him I won't take a step backwards in pay. My friend has talked to his boss for years to hire me. My super found out another company had talked to me and the Thursday before surgery we had a meeting about it. He wanted to know if I was unhappy, told him no but money talks. If someone offers me adjusters pay(which I was getting until we got a new branch manager) I'll take it, it would be an extra $180 per week, said money talks.

W was supposed to go shopping with D19 tonight but she fell asleep and just woke up and canceled. I need to take my Christmas money and gift cards and get some new clothes that fit! Kind of waiting to lose what I put on over the holidays first. Went from a 42" waist to 36", 2xl shirt to l. Then I'll look good when i go out, clothes won't be baggy. I do have some pants only one size too big.

Mike

[grid, lost]

When I talked to W's atty(her cousin), he asked how I was doing from surgery. Told him fine physically, but down mentally due to not being able to do anything and D. Told him I don't want D, W does, he said he knows and hopes the best for us.

ok, just be careful. D attornies are the worst. Bad Bad.
I would hate to see you being a nice person and have it turned on you.

Guess you can see I'm a bit protective of my dogs. lol Always remember all dog show people are a bit nuts. lol

W's work isn't very good about weekends off, if she wants one she has to work 10 days straight. Follow up visits are every other Sat for 12 weeks.

WOW, that sucks!!! Guess the two of you will have some serious soul searching. Which means what are the highest priorities here?? Whats more important, attempting to save M or a $10/hr. job with Wal-Mart.(if she does go and give up her job, a couple bucks in savings for her might help her, what do you think???) OOPS, ment to say, W will have some serious soul searching, not you. I know where your heart's at, that is for sure Mike. Heart is in the right place for your M and that is why your here. Right???

Think W doesn't think I can change and is afraid if I do make changes they won't last and she will have to go through this again. I don't know how to assure her that won't happen.

Yep, H said the exact same Words to me, over and over. OF course first he had an endless list of wrongs everything from the way I poured coffee to the way I answered the phone. Then H 180 and now, doesn't come up with an answer to the question. Actually I never ask him, now. MCLers!!! This will pass. this is exactly why you need to find a way to get W to go Retro. with you. Say if worse comes to worse, ask her to go one weekend for you, so you can have closure. Bet she would do that for you. If weekend went well, she might forgo job and finish balance of weekends. Remember MA, keep thinking positive.

Say on a brighter side, H and I actually had a nice and NORMAL chat today on telephone. I really really wish could convince H to go to Retro. After reading other couples stories, there would be hope for us. I know there is. I sent for info. Have you gotten any yet? Two locations near by me. What about for you and W? Locations near by?
At times, if I can remember DBing, H and I chat just like old times or at least almost like old times. I pray can keep learning the DB. My best chance for first base.
BTW, change one of my goals, lol, it is : convince, no help H see going to the Retrouville (sp)would be worth while. He has to at least go with an open mind. Now the question is how do I measure success towards this goal.??? What would H be doing different if my goal is succeeding?? ________ not sure of the answer.
Copied web page listing four stages of a marriage and Sent it to H in an email. Ask him to please read even though I realized he would rather not. Also ask if he realized relationships were so structured, ect. Mike do you think he will take this as pressuring him or chasing??? lol Was I to direct by any chance?? lol Need to start a bit of "put my toe in the water and test it". Maybe I put my foot in instead. ROFL, joke is H most likely will not even comment on the email!! Dear. Life is not easy.

Pizza night is coming soon! Probably in Feb. Can you freeze pizza and ship them like white Castles? My brother lived in S Cal and I sent him 100 White Castles. He said you would have thought he was dealing drugs with the amount of people in and out of his house for them.

YUMMIE !!!!! Keep me posted. Yea, I would certainly think you could freeze and ship like White Castles. Yea, why not? Food is Food. BTW, we do not have White Castles out here and I have never had one or seen one. lol How many boxes did it take to ship 100 WCs??

If someone offers me adjusters pay(which I was getting until we got a new branch manager) I'll take it, it would be an extra $180 per week, said money talks.

WOW, POP! that is an additional 9 grand a year!! You are good, very good ! Way to go Mike!

Went from a 42" waist to 36", 2xl shirt to l

.
WOW You have Lost Weight !!! How much have you lost???? Is this mostly from just watching what you put in your mouth and rehab. work outs?? How much have you lost???
At rehab, are they starting to say, Mike slow down and don't loose much more???? Way to Go.

[grid, lost]

MIke,
sorry my prior post is so choppy. Can see I am tired.
Stay positive with W. From your posts, do believe something is going on with W. Ice jam in her brain might be starting to break up. She sleeps and works all time sorta have to feel a bit sorry for her. That is all she appears to do with her life. How awful!
Have to get some sleep. Must rise early tomorrow.
H will not be up again till 23 of Jan. Gives me more time to get the money together for a coach call or two.
grid, lost

[micoms]

Grid,

W goes to her best friends house (W of my best friend) and he says the same thing, Why do you put up with such crappy hours and every weekend for $10/hr? Around here 410/hr jobs are every where or at least a job in retail where the store open at 10AM and closes at 9PM, still early enough to see a movie afterwards and store opens late enough for regular sleep hours.

W actually told me some things that upset her that I did. She said while I was in hospital I would wink at her. I don't remember, I was on morphine and percoset at the time, maybe I thought i was flirting. I didn't do a good job of just listening, I tried to explain. Should have just listened and validated, encouraged her to say more. It was the first time she talked about anything. I did ask her if she still cares for me, yes. I asked if she was upset when I was around, she said no. I told her I got the feeling that she was always pissed off when I'm around.

You might wait a while before asking about Retrouvaille, seems he is coming around, might push him away right now. How often does he come to you? Try more dinners, was there a meal you made that was his favorite? When we first got M'd W only knew how to make meatloaf, when we went grocery and got 3lbs of hamburger, I knew we were having meatloaf three times that week. Now I would give anything for her to come over and make that. I told W about Retro, I wonder if I should send her an e-mail about it or not, she doesn't read her mail regularly.

Put White castles in 2 styrofoam coolers with dry ice, put them into boxes, sealed them up and my Mom went out to visit him, she carried them on as carry on luggage. Around here is what you eat on the way home from the bars. I do have them every once in a while. They are little burgers about 3" square steamed on onions on a grill.

S25 asked tonight about pizza night. asked him when I should do it. He said his brothers birthday is at the end of this month and his is at the beginning of next, some time in between. D19 talked to D24 tonight and D19 said she asked when I'm going to do it.

At one time I got adjusters pay, new branch manager came in and said that agreement wasn't with her so there was no agreement and took it away. Told super, fine the extras I do go along with it. Had wiring changes to make she asked if I could do it. Told her yes, but the question should be would I do it. No thats adjusters work, send to engineering dept.

I'm approaching 65lb weight loss. I was up to nearly 270. I got down to 207 before the holidays, put on a little during them. Down to 212 so far. Watched what I put in my mouth. Started back in March, stopped eating lunch. I work out in the field so lunch was Wendy's, Burger King etc. 1700 calorie lunches. I was down to 220 at time of operation, Left hospital at 230, They pumped me full of fluids. I didn't have a heart attack, angina pain, no damage to heart at all. Couldn't do a stent because of location of blockage. They went in to do 2 and did quad bypass. Worst blockage was 70%, another 60% and two more were 45 to 50%. People ask me if I can tell the difference, I can't I feel the same. Maybe it will show up when I get on the soccer field again.

Mike