Focusing on the future together.

[CINDYLUHUU]

Calystra, thanks for stopping by my thread. I appreciate your insight!! I sure hope you're right!! Have a good day! ~Cind

[calystra]

Ceb posted on this other thread and wanted me to link it up here:

Hopefulness --> Calling all Former Walkaways

[MAL]

Ceb,
I saw your posts over one Hopefulnees -- great stuff for the LBS.

I was hoping you might take a look at my thread sometime when you have a chance. My H is showing signs of awakening, and maybe you can give me some advice on how I can work through this with him. Thanks for considering it.

[mimi1114]

Calystra,

Thanks for your advice on my thread the other day. I have posted my R goals and did meeet some of them this weekend

Now H back to the SAM .

Thank you again. You are Ceb are a wonderful inspiration.

[LoveSuffersLong]

Calystra and Ceberon,
Just scanned your threads - another rocket scientist. One suggestion came to mind:
SIGN UP FOR DANCE LESSONS TOGETHER. This will become part of the new you=couple.
Another warning/suggestion:
VD's can be transmitted much later - you both need to be tested and then re-tested after 6 mo.
As my OB/GYN says it is not a matter of 'if' just a matter of 'when' - there is no way for you to know
if someone is 'safe' or 'clean' - get the tests...you need to know and some silent VD's can be treated/cured
before permanentdamage is done - especially as you are so young.
Keep doing what works. The desire to succeed, is the reason you will succeed. You have been blessed.
Faith. Hope. Love.
LSL

[Phoenix_In_Bloom]

Hiya Cal, Ceb,

I'd appreciate some input on my thread, when you have some time.

Got an email from my monkey, trying to form a plan.

thank you both!

Hugs.

[calystra]

Just wanted to post something as it's been a while.

There isn't much new going on really. I think last night is the first time we had a bit of a problem...

I have a habit of complaining when someone wants me to do something that I don't want to do - but I end up doing whatever it is anyways. Well, this doesn't go over well with Ceb and I don't blame him, it's something new that I've found I need to work on now but I think we could have handled the discussion about it a little better.

I wanted Ceb to stop at the grocery store for a couple of things we needed for dinner and he was going to but then traffic got really bad. I was already home so he asked me to just go out to the store instead. I decided that we could do without the things from the store but he'd decided that we couldn't. So when I said nah, I didn't want to go ... he wanted me to go. I complained but then agreed to go.

Then he was upset because he felt like he was forcing me to do something. So we discussed how it made him feel but he added "... and it makes me not want to ask you to do things so I'll just do them myself or go without and just build up all that resentment inside again..."

I asked him if that was a threat because it sure sounded like one and he said no. I guess I thought we'd agreed to work things out and that would include him changing his behaviour when necessary (ie. telling me about things instead of building up resentment) and not just me changing. Of course my mind went straight to "he's going to build up resentment and leave again...". He had to get off the phone because he was getting grumpy.

So I went off to the store, picked up some peace offerings (movies from Blockbuster and flowers ) which worked really well and we discussed our feelings when I got home and both apologized and agreed to both work on issues together.

He's never gotten flowers before so that made his day - maybe even his week.

[erinr]

Cal,

Sweet gesture (flowers and a movie). It is so easy to break the tension when we decide to make that first move, isn't it?

Erin

[WillWin]

The flowers remind me of something my wife did years ago when we were not married but living together...

She kicked my happy but out once before. Then a couple of days later I receive these flowers at work. The card said "looking for another encounter, signed T."

I thought someone at work was screwing with me.

Then a couple of days later I received flowers from her again. This time said, "Please come home, I love you. *Wifes Name*"

I was furious at first cause the first day I felt like a fool. Hindsight being 20/20, that was a very sweet thing she did for me. And I felt like a jerk afterwards for being a jerk.


Anyway... That was very cool Cal...

[Ceberon]

It was also a bit of a 180 on her part as well, since I was bracing for an argument when she got home, I just assumed she'd be mad about something. Usually she'd be in a bad mood if I asked her to do something she didn't want to do.

On my part, I have a really hard time explaining my feelings. I feel bad asking her to do something if she's going to act unhappy about doing it, so instead of saying that I would rather she have a positive additude, I just said I'd bottle my feelings up again. It's hard to remember the proper ways of expressing yourself when you're moving 5mph on a highway you usually travel 75mph on.

Oh well, we'll work on things, we'll get better