Your last post had me shaking my head in amazement. It is so weird how some sitches are so similar and seem to pan out in the same way.
One thing I did learn was to stop talking about W to DD. Although W was decieving and lying during her A with OM, and making DD lie for her as well, I think my pressure on DD really did affect her more than I thought. Being the honest and open person I am, I would not hold back on letting DD know exactly what her mother was like, and not wanting DD to turn out like her............my mistake.
During these months, my DD became withdrawn and somewhat difficult to handle, especially with authority figures like teachers and relatives (grandparents etc). This was somewhat due to what was happening at home.
Since I stopped talking about my W to DD (over the last several weeks, part of going dark) she has improved and is doing really well at school, is a joy when we go out and is very responsive and considerate. I think the pressure does get to them more than we know.
I also have found that W is run down most of the time, and suffers from regular colds and sniffles. This was due to her lifestyle, staying out till the early hours of the morning, never being home, going out till midnight most nights, then having to get up at 6am to go to work etc etc. She used to go to bed at 9pm when we were happy and sleep through to 7 or 8 am. She enjoyed her sleep so much, it is a complete change for her now.
Also, your S6 will always tell W exactly what you have said about her, which will validate all her reasons to want to leave you. The less ammo you give her the more frustrated she will be, and the more uncertain she will be about what she is doing.
I also suffered from depression (did not know it until C session during my turmoil earlier this year), and this depression has been going on since DD was born. I think I was also going through a MLC, but handled it so much differently. Did not stray, did not want to leave my family (but did wonder if I made a mistake with being with W and if my life would have been different depending on the path I chose, like "Back to the Future" )
I just became a little withdrawn, nothing major. It sure does sound from what you have said in previous post, that maybe your W is going down the same path as someone suffering from MLC.
Just continue to go dark and do not give her any more ammo to validate any of her feelings against you.
Ahhh... next time don't answer the phone or very NICELY use some excuse and get off ASAP!!!
Unfortunately, parenting doesn't get easier (even with neurotypical children) and it's very easy to vent frustrations on someone you are trying to push away. EXPECT kid issues to be difficult. Sadly there are probably many things you won't agree about regarding this.
Are you taking anything for your depression? If not, you might want to ask your doctor about low-level Lexapro. I know some doctors treat ASD and Autism with ADs.... by the way, just curious... ever try cutting out dairy or wheat?
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
NCB, that was quite the talk you guys had today. WOW. First of all, I am sorry about S6, his problems and having to deal with them. That's always so hard. I was glad to read that you guys seemed to have come (quickly) to an agreement on how to deal with his behaviors, so you can be consistent. Great.
Onto W. She is fog fog foggy!!! I can't believe it. Wait, yes I can, I live with a fog dweller as well. Don't you hate when they 1) dredge up history and 2) alter it to make us a bad guy. I will be the first to own up and say I wasn't a perfect spouse, but H totally blows it out of proportion.
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I need to go dark, and stay dark now. It's just so darn hard when there are children involved!
I know this all too well!!! If we didn't have kids, H and I would be legally separated and I would soooo be dark!!! But, in the long run, maybe our kids will keep us together? We can hope.
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