everyone that is married should experience Retrouvaille. I cannot say enough positive, I cannot encourage all of you that are reading this enough to go for a weekend. Please go with your spouse. It is amazing. It will transform you, it will transform your marriage. There are not enough words in our language to express it all. Whatever it takes, get your spouse there.
em
Last edited by ediemarie; 09/17/0701:03 AM.
Me: 34 H: 39 M: 7 yrs H A 12/05-8/07
If what you say surprises me, I must have been assuming something else was true. - M. Wheatley
I am so happy for us!!! What a gift it was to be able to go on this weekend! It is truly difficult to describe this weekend without looking like we have been converted by some cult!!! But you know what it is almost like that....but in such a good way!! I feel like a newlywed again, and just learning about my H and about us! I am really looking forward to going to the post sessions! with each one I think we will only get stronger!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
Hi Limbo! Thanks for stopping by! Things are still going really well. We're keeping up with the dialogues and still learning alot. I read your posts on your thread. We had very similiar situations...
About the weekend H came home from work early on Friday - sick. He had an awful head cold and wasn't in any condition for anything but sleep. We stood in the livingroom, our bags packed, looking at each other debating whether to stay or go. I wanted to go so badly but was nervous that he wouldn't participate in the weekend because he was so sick. I was also worried that he was ill enough to have to see a doctor. I almost said, Let's just stay home...but then Sara's words floated through my mind "the hardest part is walking in the door." So, I looked at my H and said, we're going. Get your things. I packed cold medication and warm clothes and off we went.
On the way to the hotel (I was driving) H was pointing out all the opportunities we had to turn around and go home - it was driving me nuts at the time - but now I think it's kinda funny.
When we arrived I was surprised to see so many other couples - 17 besides us. I was amazed at the body language of some of the couples there and my H commented that he wished he was wearing his wedding band (he hasn't worn it in 2 years). He said he didn't want to look like one of those guys that wasn't interested in being there. H was pretty skeptical about what he would learn over the weekend and how much effort he would have to put into it - I was just glad we were sitting there and thought, well, it was difficult getting here, but now that we're settled things appear to be progressing.
Neither H nor I actually got a lot out of the presenters. We couldn't really relate to any of the couples. This however does not mean the weekend wasn't profitable. We actually found so much comfort in learning more about one another, connecting on a new level, and discovering truths about ourselves, that it didn't matter whether we could fully relate to them or not. We picked up a few tidbits here and there and we found ourselves nodding in agreement from time to time. They were helpful, but not to the degree I expected them to be. That, however, is a non-issue because we still walked away with a new outlook.
On 3 separate occassions throughout the weekend H thanked me for getting us help. He has thanked me 2 times since then. And he, I feel, got more out of the weekend than I did. He worked hard, even though he was sick, and we both discovered that we have less problems than we thought. We are both looking forward to the follow up sessions that begin this Friday. We have been following the Retrouvaille pattern that is set out during the weekend and find enjoyable to the point that we look forward to talking every day.
I cannot speak highly enough about this program. It has made such a difference in such a short time. I am finally at peace in my marriage and that is something I have never had in all my days of marriage. I've never felt comfortable in it - and now? I can't imagine how much greater our marriage is going to be.
Em
Me: 34 H: 39 M: 7 yrs H A 12/05-8/07
If what you say surprises me, I must have been assuming something else was true. - M. Wheatley
That makes me so happy to hear that you thought of my words and it inspired you to go. It is so enjoyable learning to listen to your spouses feelings, isn't it? That's something I don't think I've been very successful in communicating. I'm glad that even though the presenters didn't tell your story, that the weekend still worked for you. When we went, we related to 2 out of the 3 couples, but not the third couple at all.
It is wonderful that your H is so happy with the weekend. Mine was too. The first night I thought he was going to bolt, but by the end when they asked for a donation, he wanted to give big. So I took that as a good sign. The follow-up sessions are good too. And you get a really valuable workbook that helps with suggestions of dialogue questions.
I am sitting here laughing at how much of a similar experiance we had!!! My H had a bad head cold too, and my the time we left he had a migraine to boot!! I also drove!! We did connect with the presenters, 2 of the 3. But at least you still got alot out of it, and that is what is important! We are also enjoying doing the dialoguing, we had a talk with the kids tonight, about having to leave us alone for our 20 min each night, s7 wasn't impressed, d15 was fine with it! Our post session is on Saturday, which we are looking forward to going to! Keep up the good work!!!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
