I I have changed my name

[Iamworththetime]

Another thing she asked me this evening was if she could keep her car in my name, she said that right now it has a low interest rate, but if she refinances it the IR will be 8%, I told her I think about it, she responded with " All of the other bills are in my name!" But the thing is, I have no credit cards except for a lowes and a tractor supply card, she has ONE Visa card the SHE opened, I'm not on it. I am not going to do this since I'm not the one that wants it and I don;t want to be responsible if she misses a payment. I love her, but I feel she is trying to take advantage of that fact.

[indybyathread]

Don't worry about typos. You made a huge step. It took tremendous courage. I have to say that I am finding each day that the more I let go and the stronger I am in sticking to the DB program, the faster he is showing a relaxation toward me and signs that he misses me and wants to spend time with me. It all seems counter-intuitive but it is really working, at least it seems to be. Hang tough. I know you love her and letting go seems so impossible but you MUST. And, you can. This is your chance, don't let yourself second guess your way out doing what you need to do. Hang in there. You can do this!

I'll be thinking of you! God bless!

[Iamworththetime]

Thanks Indy. I am not second guessing my decision, I know that it is the right one. We most likely will divorce, but I am not giving up hope that we may reconcile in the future. During the sep and after the D I am going to take the time to find myself and who I truly am, I feel that I need to make some fundememtal changes in me so that I can be happy with myself and be a great partner for my W or whomever I end up with. I will not get into a serious relationship if I can help for at least 1-2 years, this time is for me, and my discovery.

[Heimlich]

Dustin,
You are a strong, strong man. You either opened up the door for a real, new relationship with your W or set yourself up for being a good man for someone in the future. Deciding to get out of the way of the W if she wants a D is something I wrestled over, I wish I had handled it as well as you did.

Hang in there,

BD

[Iamworththetime]

Thanks Heimlich

[Iamworththetime]

I'll also be moving to the seperated forum in a few days, but I'll still come in and check and help out when I can.

[Heimlich]

Post the link here, if you would. I have a bad feeling I may be joining you there in a few weeks.

[Iamworththetime]

ok

[Iamworththetime]

I'm trying to think of a way to tell my wife that I won't keep her car in my name without coming off as being vindictive, because that's not why, I feel that this was her desicion and that if the D is what she wants then she will have to deal with her finances on her own, if it was about my kids it would be a different matter.

What I propose to say: " I've thought about what you asked me about your car, you know how I feel about you, but I am not sure what my finacial situation will be after the D and I am not comfortable with keeping your car in my name because if by some chance you miss a payment I do not want it to reflect on my credit. If you find yourself in a bind because of it, of course I'll help you however I can if I am able."
What do y'all think? I don;t want to come off as an ass, but I don;t think it's right that she even asked me.

[Iamworththetime]

This morning I got home, W was still here getting ready for work, she came out of the bathroom and into the kitchen and I told her goodmorning in an upbeat way, she responded in the same manner. We talked a little bit about the kids because I'm taking them down to my parents house this weekend. She gave me my watch which she had gotten fixed for me and I told her thank you (I'm still dbing and will even after the D), I appreciate you doing that for me. She went back into the bathroom and then came out again and came into the living room where I was and then she surprised me, she asked ME to give her a hug. I was shocked, but quickly recovered and said yes, I will, I hugged her and she hugged me back and it was the greatest feeling for me in the world, I haven't touched her in two months, her body against mine, the smell of her perfume (Euphoria by Calvin Klein), it felt so good. I pray to God that he lets me back into her heart at some point in time.