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Joined: Jun 2007
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I've been struggling with asking my W to do things. Sadly, I think our efforts to do things together are seen as pressure. While you should try to do things together, the way you ask is critical I think. Instead of "What movie would you like to see this weekend" maybe you say on Thursday/Friday, "I'm thinking of going to a movie tomorrow, would you like to join me." From there, you can play dinner by ear, depending on the show time.

Make sense?

BD


My latest

Me: 36
W: 35
2 D: 9 and 5
T: 16 years
M: 12
10/4/06: Bomb
10/5/06: Ended A
4/22/07: ILYBNILWY

I'm a beautiful butterfly.
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It definitely makes sense to approach it that way. I will take your advice. I just feel like we have been co-existing for the last few months. I would like to start reconnecting like a "normal" couple would. I'd like to start and continue doing the things that we would enjoy while we were dating. I feel like we are teetering at the point where things can start to get better, or could take a major turn for the worse. Just trying to make sure I don't do anything that can contribute to the latter. Just seeing her with my niece and nephew this past weekend (they are 3 and 1) makes me realize that this is the woman that I would like to raise a family with. I am committed to making this thing work and will do what I can to make sure that it does.

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Hang in there, Stew. Has she talked more about moving out? It sounds like reconnecting with the family has her rethinking things, at least a little.

Like everyone says, patience and baby steps. I also take heart from what Michelle wrote in DR, mistakes in the process can be overcome. That said, don't push. Regardless of how rational a request may sound to us, our wives tend to view it as pressure. Go slow.

Fingers crossed for you that she responds positively.

BD


My latest

Me: 36
W: 35
2 D: 9 and 5
T: 16 years
M: 12
10/4/06: Bomb
10/5/06: Ended A
4/22/07: ILYBNILWY

I'm a beautiful butterfly.
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