A litte background info...Wife dropped bomb almost 3 months ago (love you but not in love..bla bla bla) & left home the same day. As far as I know she is still living with a friend that she met about 2 mths before she left. There is OM who is the brother of the friend W is living with. She met OM about 3, maybe 4 weeks before she left me & began seeing him just 4 days !! before she left. Contact has been very limited & mainly consists of phone calls that have always been friendly & upbeat. W spoke to me about the big D 3 weeks ago & said that I would have to be the one to file for it. She did want to come & talk about that, but as of yet, she has not done so. That concludes the brief explanation...
So on the current matters...
I continue to GAL & i am doing pretty good at that, if I have to say so my self
Just got back from a motorcycle/camping trip which was great, I had a very good time even though I hate camping. Was a little weird at first as this is the very first time that I have camped by myself, we used to do this stuff together, although a few years ago.
W still has not called or come to talk about the D that she mentioned & I have not contacted her about it either. Infact, I have not spoke the her for 3 weeks at all, & am about to break that silence, but not sure how & what I would say. I thought about a simple text/sms message & see if I get a reply.
I know I should'nt feel this way, or I should try to not feel this way...Anyway, just talked to a friend & they say W has gone on holiday (vacation) with OM & the friend that she is/was staying with. This has made me feel down as it's got me thinking about the holiday we had planned for 12 mths...She left me 1 week before we were due to go. It's not that the holiday was important, but it just got me thinking about it now. I wish I had not bumped into my friend....
It's little things like this that bring back the hurt for me, don't know why, but it hurts like crazy at the moment. I have tryed hard to not let the OM sitch bother me & i've done good with it. So now she's gone on holiday with him, why does it all of a sudden seem so bad? I guess it's feels like she is really moving on with him & my R/M has just slipped way too far away.
Aw man....I am sorry. I wish we lived close. We could get together and comiserate. Maybe get drunk and put pictures of our WAW's on the wall and throw darts at em.
Yeah I know its of little conselation, when I feel like you are now. When people say to me "you can only control your own actions and feelings" but it is true.
Just know this. I have read your stuff. I know your feelings (all to well, in fact) you are not alone. Not sure how old you are, but dude.... know matter what happens in this crazy Ef'd up world. We both still got a lot of liven left to do (I hope) It starts right now. How do you want to proceed???
I am still for the most part in my situation hopefull that I may be able to resurrect my marriage. If that dont happen. If some day it does all come to a certain end........ well then I am going to take a vaction to Costa Rica!!! LOL I will have the time of my life there too...
But for today.........somehow someway just find a way to live a little better than just sitting around and feeling like crap. I know easy to say, hard to do.......but it can be done.
I have to carry on with my life, for me. Right now though I don't feel like i am moving along in the correct manner, I thought I was. I have thought about this for the last few days or so & maybe it's better to totally give up on my M. Maybe I can begin to move on with a divorce & get it over with ASAP. I know I should be moving on anyway, but it just does not seem that I can as it is now.
While typing this I just got a reply to the text message I sent to W earlier.. I wrote Just thought i'd say hello & hope all is fine. I hope you don't feel that we can't remain friends? She replyed with..I don't feel that way at all. It's good that we can still be friends
"I have thought about this for the last few days or so & maybe it's better to totally give up on my M."
Yeah I get there like every other day myself. But then I ask myself, what is the hurry? Has she filed on you? I have not recieved any papers myself. As of right now, I do not want to be the one to deal the final blow. Do you? When I ask myself "How do I proceed?" I guess I just try to do the best I can for myself (and my daughter) that I can right now. Try not to get all wigged out with what she is or is not doing. I know its hard, I live it too. But some days are better than others.
Anyhow hang in there dude.......
Also, how do you do the quote thingy in the boxes?? I cant figure it out!!
To quote just the text that you want, type quote=strange but with open/close brackets [ ] paste your chosen text then finish it with /quote Again with open/close brackets.
Originally Posted By: NDDT
Has she filed on you?
No she has not filed yet. I got a text meassage about 4 weeks ago saying that she wanted to talk to me about what I think about getting the divorce sorted out my reply was, to call me later when she wanted to talk about it. She did'nt call but I had to call her a few days later & she asked me about it then. I posted this in my first thread but this is how the conversation went.
W...I have not had time to come & chat about...you know Me...Ok, come chat when you have time, it's up to you I don't mind, just call me before you come W... Ok......But I wanted to know what you think about it Me....I don't think talking on the phone is the way go, I would prefer to talk face to face. W...Ok..I will try to get to you one day next week Me...Sure no problem, thats ok. W..But are you ok with it? Me...This is your choice, I will not stand in your way of.... W...I know but there is'nt any point in letting this go on is there? Me...Like I have said this is your choice & I will not stand in your way...I would prefer to talk about this in person. W...I know, but it has to be you that files for devorce... Me...Why is that? W...erm..because it was me that left. Me...ok, lets talk about this when I see you ok? W...Yeah, ok Me...ok talk to you then...bye
As you can see she wants/wanted me to file for it. I am going to tell her that she must file as it is her choice to do this, not mine. Of course I have not had the chance yet as she still has not been in touch about it.
Ok umm screw that. Do you want to get divorced? If not then its simple, DONT FILE. No reason to make something happen that you dont want. I think from what you are telling me that yeah maybe right now she THINKS she wants a divorce. But does not want to take the responsibilty for it....... If that talk does ever occur. Similiar to a talk I had with mine. I told her that I still believe in our marriage and the vows that I made. I still want to keep our family together. I will not be the one that files. Nor should you if this is something that you do not want to happen.
She is not sure of what she wants.......if she was you woulda been served by now.
(Always liked that term, served. Like the good officer is gonna bring the papers to you on a silver platter. "Excuse me my good man, will you require something to drink with your papers?") LOL getting goofy now.
I thinks Michelle did get it right when she said "Time is our friend" even when it dont seem like it.
Like the good officer is gonna bring the papers to you on a silver platter. "Excuse me my good man, will you require something to drink with your papers?") LOL getting goofy now.
LOL..That did indeed make me laugh Thanks for that.
I'm a little mixed up right now about the D..I can't say it's what I want but part of me does not feel like I will move on further until it happens. I have always told myself I will not be the one to file, but if she files, then as it is now I will sign.
I did consider she may have doubts about it, but she continues on her journey of happyness with OM. Maybe WAS change their mind alot? maybe she just does not what the full responsibility of a D.. I don't know for sure, it does not seem to make scence. She has not made much scence from the start of this mess. Apart from the planning to leave at some point (so she said) It all seems so rushed & not thought out quite well. I'd find it easy to understand if she had started this A with OM months before she left, but days? It's just like it hit her & she got up & left, just like that.
It probably wasnt days.... Take your time sort this all out. I guess you need to figure out what you really want. Getting A D is a fairly final decision. I been there once before, yeah I am on my 2nd time around now.....
