You can file "innocent spouse" if you didn't know about the tax situation but just signed the return. The government understands that sometimes as wives we are coerced or unknowing about what is really going on. Also, you can do what I did...get a legal seperation so that any further debts are not yours...it is amazing how a debt collector reacts when you just say "we are legally seperated". Then let H file bankruptcy...if you have to do the same then so be it...a lot people have to do that now days and it is not as bad as it used to be.
Can you get a legal separation and continue to share the same residence? I don't want to ask H to leave and upset the kids - not in the middle of the school year. H is in the process of filing bankruptcy. I don't like the fact that H's attorney needs copies of my financial info - I am NOT filing and I am NOT bankrupt. I have ended all joint accounts w/ H. So, if you are reading this and your spouse has accumulated great debt - cards in his/her name only - make sure you protect yourself and get out of joint accounts. Your spouse's creditors can post garnishments against joint accounts even if he/she doesn't contribute a cent to that account. Just the fact that their name is on the account means that your money can be taken. Ask me. I learned this the hard way.
In my state, you can file bankruptcy individually if you have a legal seperation...and yes, you can get a legal seperation and still live together...it is just what it states...legally seperated in finances and responsibility for the other spouse...this only need applyy if you are in a community property state. Of note, close ALL joint accounts, especially bank accounts even if there is NO money in them...I didn't know that the bank charges a fee when a collector tries to attach to the bank account and if there is no money the collector doesn't get any but the bank charges the account, in my case over drawing it, and if you don't pay up that is strike on your good credit. After that happened I closed all unused accounts that I held jointly with H...and we have been legally seperated, although living together (happily now)since 2005...no one hassles me for money or his debts and my bank accounts are off limits to all collectors! I too learned some of this the hard way...like I payed the $10,000 in back taxes and penalties and then found out I could filed innocent spouse...but since we plan on staying together it really would have only prolonged the debt and since we are together it would still have come out of "our" money.
You can file BK separately here. You can have a separation maintenance agreement but it seems that's what you have while you are waiting for a divorce. I need clarification on that. What I am interested in is a financial separation and to have my own tax return. I do not want to be held legally responsible for the negative financial actions of any other adult. Maybe that means I need a D to make that happen. I am also paying back taxes and learned the hard way about garnishments in joint accounts. It was a financial raping of every cent that I had, thanks to my H. Do I feel safe or protected by my H? Heck, no. H's the one I need protection from.
Been lurking a long time and not posting but here goes: I am terribly unhappy with my M. H's bankruptcy is in effect. He makes his bankruptcy payment, car payment, and buys some of the food. All the rest is on me. ON ME . . . and I want him to get off of me. There is no sharing of the bills. I tried giving him the lowest bill in the house to pay - on a regular basis - and now the water bill is behind. I am so tired of hearing about his lousy life, how he knows he is the 'scourge of the earth', how he has to 'get his resumes going' . . . BLAH, blah, blah. TAKE ACTION, man.
I used to think I was so strong that I could handle it all and things would get better if I only hang in there but I am tired, drained, and ANGRY - probably angry at myself because of the saying - 'you show people how they can treat you'. I don't want to be treated this way any longer. I see now that I am the enabler. I just can't seem to take the next step because I am afraid of D. I don't want to hurt my kids . . . and I know D hurts kids. I am trapped. I know I need to see a C but there's no money for that. I should get a D but there's no money for that, either.
One day at a time becomes weeks, months, years of a life that feels wrong.
Welcome. Your situation is different than most here. I'm no expert, but let me give you one piece of advice and ask you one question.
Advice: Post on the NewComers forum, you'll get way more advice.
Question: Isn't D a drastic first step? I'm sure you feel like you have done everything but aren't there other things you can do? Can you think of any steps that will show your H you mean business but as not quite so drastic?
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
D doesn't seem like the first step. It's the last step. I've posted here on-and-off for a number of years. Tried and tried. Worked on myself. Landed a better job which landed me the role of breadwinner. Tried to be supportive of H. Helped with resume and his job search but he won't listen to any of my suggestions. Backed off. Figured it was between H and God. Let them figure it out. H doesn't go to church anymore but I'm still going. Been to C with H and been to Retrouvaille.
Trying to cope with H's bankruptcy. It has a huge impact on me and the kids. Dr Phil says you 'earn your way out of M' and leave no stone unturned. I don't think I've overlooked anything. Actually, the bankruptcy might hold me here until H is done paying - 4 years to go.
