Ma, I feel so bad. I think I just discovered that my W is having an A, not sure wether it's EA or PA, but it's been going on since at least last month. I found a strange cell # on our phone bill and she has been calling it and texting it a lot. I feel so bad now. Of course I probably messed up because I called it and left a messege, and I called my W but she didn't answer and I called her work, and of course she's not there and she wasn't called in tonight at all. How should I handle this? Should I confront her about it? I'm more hurt than angry.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
Ma, I feel so bad. I think I just discovered that my W is having an A, not sure wether it's EA or PA, but it's been going on since at least last month. I found a strange cell # on our phone bill and she has been calling it and texting it a lot. I feel so bad now.
Ok listen up. This is going to be tough. Your emotions are out of control, and that is normal. If you are like I was, you will feel like someone hit you in the head with a hammer. It last about a week, and then was only slightly better the next three weeks. Your mind will race back over that time perido and try to revisit what happened but now with the OP in the picture. Just know that your emotions are flaring.
Now, you will do best (I promise) if you can follow the 48-hour rule before you act on (or say on) any thought you have. This will be tremendously hard. But try.
Originally Posted By: DutinR
Of course I probably messed up because I called it and left a messege, and I called my W but she didn't answer and I called her work, and of course she's not there and she wasn't called in tonight at all.
This is not great, but what's done is done. Forget about it. Chances are if you're right, your W will now know you know since you called OP's cell. Plus that's a small town, and hiding this will be tough for her.
Originally Posted By: DutinR
How should I handle this? Should I confront her about it? I'm more hurt than angry.
This is tougher. I'd give it at least two days to decide. When I discovered my W's EA, I confronted her immediately. I wasn't Dbing then, but if it happened again I might. And I gave her an ultimatum, and though I think it worked, I doubt I would do that again because I can't control her. She's going to make her choices. If you confronted her, what would you do? My sugestion is just let her know that you know, and that's about it. But I might do nothing. Not sure. There is a chapter on Infidelity in DR. I'd suggest you read it. Much is for later when you two are trying to heal/recover, but that won't appluy now. Read it anyway. There is some other info that will help you understand it now.
Hang in there, and I am sorry, but you can still save your M. It just got more complicated, that's all. It isn't hopeless
Nomopo
PS - remember, emotions high. Don't act on your emotions if you can avoid it.
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
I know, I know. Believe me, I know. I started feeling bad about my W's EA again after reading your post. Just realize that there is nothing you have to do now that you can't do just as effectively in the next 2 or 3 days or even in a week.
Hang in there friend.
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
Looks like it started on 5-06-07, I did an intelius.com report and got his name. Thing is, I'm not mad,because I've suspected it quite frankly.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
What hurts the most is that it appears that he is only 24 years old.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
Damnit, I think I may have screwed up! It appears the number in question belongs to a female, the middle name is Renee which is the female spelling. Does anybody have any ideas how I go about playing this if that is indeed the case? Should I just NOT bring it up unless she does? Or should I tell her that I saw all of the calls to that number and I panicked and apologize?
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
I really hope that this isn't the push out the door she's been needing.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
