Stillme's Chapters Continue

[Nomopo]

As for why you don't give up, I ask myself that a lot in my own sitch. But here is the thing for me-- I don't ever want to look back on this and be able to say that I didn't do everything I could have done to keep this marriage from ending. If I get so angry and hurt that I decide to file, then I didn't do everything I could have done. If I give into all of my hurt, angry emotions and lash out at H everytime I interact with him, then I didn't do everything I could have done. I am going to have to live with myself for the rest of my life and my kids are always going to be my kids. I wouldn't want to live with the guilt that I didn't do everything possible to keep my kids' family together.

I know i said this before, but I love this post IK. I'm going to steal this for my plan, ok?

And, yeah, I know the term is "Nothing" H says, but I'm thinking there's some grains of truth or, better word?, honesty in that Spew)

It's not that alien spew isn't partially true or somewhat honest. Heck it might be all true. It might be all false. The point is, what the WAS says is unreliable. You can't tell what they mean and what they don't. Yeah, you're right, you can pick out some parts as their "truth," and some parts as just so absurd they have to know it. But the point is, all in all it's so unreliable that the only rule you can logically apply is "don't believe anything you hear, . . . ."

BTW, I think you can spell out "cr@ppy." That's not even really a cuss word.

Thanks for sharing the L info. Very useful for all of us. You made her sound nice, but she is a L, right???

So hubby won a Silver at his jj tourney, huh? I'm curious, is he a big man? And more importantly, which knee is the fragi . . . I mean, rehabilitated knee? I hope it's the left, because I am right handed and it's harder for me to get my limited edition, autographed Tonya Harding TH6000 lead pipe all the way around to the right knee.

Why don't you tell H that he needs to get a different job and that you are going to tell him what kind of job he needs to get.

I like the fire Kat!

There is a bigger picture here, and - not that it isn't stressful & tight right now - it could not have been solved if I'd gotten a FT legal sec'y job this yr, last yr, or 5 yrs ago.

Bingo. Money may be making him really mad now, but there is some revisionist history going on. (And I guess the whole "kicking" him out, really was off base. I was just noodling out loud, really. He is so so so EMOTIONAL for a WAS (mine just seems dead/detached/automatic), I couldn't understand it. Still can't really.

BTW, paper millionaires can become "real" millionaires after enough time passes and if things break right.

[Nomopo]

C sounds great. Hope y'all get to use her. G'night, and sweet dreams.

Nomopo

[Reincarnated]

Nomo, when you say you hope things break right, were you referring to your Tonya Harding limited edition again?

Thanks for the giggle! My H is pretty big, 6'2", about 240...used to wrestle in high school. Has a bad right wrist and lower back, in case it comes down to it ;0)

[stillme]

Well, heck, there you go posting & I can't go to sleep w/o answering tonight! Besides you made me lol! So --

It's not that alien spew isn't partially true or somewhat honest. Heck it might be all true. It might be all false. The point is, what the WAS says is unreliable. You can't tell what they mean and what they don't. Yeah, you're right, you can pick out some parts as their "truth," and some parts as just so absurd they have to know it. But the point is, all in all it's so unreliable that the only rule you can logically apply is "don't believe anything you hear, . . . ." Yeah, true.

BTW, I think you can spell out "cr@ppy." That's not even really a cuss word. In our house a slipped-in "crap" IS mommy's potty mouth word & the kids call me on it. Funny how I didn't even catch that I did that.

Thanks for sharing the L info. Very useful for all of us. You made her sound nice, but she is a L, right???[/color] What do you mean? Some of my best friends ARE L's! And, if it weren't for the dang long hours & no life thing, I'd prolly like being a L myself. (Recently remembered that a career-day whatchacallit [what you'd be good at] test [yeah, it's really late & I'm really tired, lol] - APTITUDE - test said I'd be a good JUDGE. LOL! Skip right past Go. . .

[color:#33CC00]So hubby won a Silver at his jj tourney, huh? I'm curious, is he a big man? And more importantly, which knee is the fragi . . . I mean, rehabilitated knee? I hope it's the left, because I am right handed and it's harder for me to get my limited edition, autographed Tonya Harding TH6000 lead pipe all the way around to the right knee. 6'2" hard-body 195/205 (down to about 180 tho I'm thinking), but you're in luck. It IS his left knee! Ya want to know Mean? When he was laid up on the couch just days after surgery & 2 wks post Bomb, ice packs & pain meds at his side, I had visions of stealing away w/all his Morphine & Codeine AND the remote AND his cellphone! Yep, Evil. That's me.

[stillme]

Oops, posted too soon.

Originally Posted By: stillme
There is a bigger picture here, and - not that it isn't stressful & tight right now - it could not have been solved if I'd gotten a FT legal sec'y job this yr, last yr, or 5 yrs ago.

Bingo. Money may be making him really mad now, but there is some revisionist history going on. (And I guess the whole "kicking" him out, really was off base. I was just noodling out loud, really. He is so so so EMOTIONAL for a WAS (mine just seems dead/detached/automatic), I couldn't understand it. Still can't really.[/quote] Yep, again. He's using the money issue to support his D-decision position. I think he's also been listening to some ugliness from a (newly D'd) friend and from his own bro whose W (last I heard) was filing for D (Now, SHE's probably gone the Evil route re: money). And I forgot to respond about the 'moving out' possibility of why H's angry. Maybe. . . to a SANE person, but it really didn't fit w/H. Like I said, he WANTED/NEEDED to move out on his own (never lived by himself before really; felt he gave up his single yrs to be M'd, blah blah) & was quite friendly still just before & just after move-out day. About the emotions - my H was stone-cold unemotional for the first prolly almost 60 days. He said his piece, told me his decision & walked out of the room when I cried. So, he's gone from heart-to-heart crying (him, too) talks, to friendly/buddies w/ occasional benefits, to hard-core anger about money. What's next?

BTW, paper millionaires can become "real" millionaires after enough time passes and if things break right. Yeah, I'm wondering if this is a factor in his decision-firmness as well. Will have to make sure all bases regarding this is covered . . .if & when.

'kay. I cross-eyed & I AM going to bed now. Got 3 classes to teach tomorrow & need my energy/beauty sleep.

[Nomopo]

My H is pretty big, 6'2", about 240...used to wrestle in high school. Has a bad right wrist and lower back, in case it comes down to it ;0)

Ahhh, the classic overuse wrist injury, huh? I had a wrestler rommmate in college, and I found the way to handle those guys is to hit in hard over the head when they ain't looking. Did I mention I fight dirty?

still: I could so see you as a Judge. Judge J or Judge Still - both have nice rings. And are you saying I don't have a life? I'm here aren't I?

6'2" hard-body 195/205 (down to about 180 tho I'm thinking), but you're in luck. It IS his left knee!

Hard body. Sheesh. Like a give a rat's @ss about that. Is his skull thicker than the average man's? Oh yeah, it probably is.

Ya want to know Mean? When he was laid up on the couch just days after surgery & 2 wks post Bomb, ice packs & pain meds at his side, I had visions of stealing away w/all his Morphine & Codeine AND the remote AND his cellphone! Yep, Evil. That's me.

LOVE IT!!!!

So, he's gone from heart-to-heart crying (him, too) talks, to friendly/buddies w/ occasional benefits, to hard-core anger about money. What's next?

Not sure if it is next, but eventually I would say he will get to crying like a baby begging you to (a) take him back and (b) call off that mean man from Texas who keeps kicking him in the @ss.

Nomopo!

[stillme]

[SunnySeason]

Thanks for morning booast guys, but really Nomo, now that you have all this freedom, I just know you're gunna go crazy w/ posting & get zero zzzzzzzzzzz's! Pace yourself...we need you!

A thought I had @ 2 am. & Nomo had @ no telling....The WAS, in this case Still's hard skulled H, doesn't ever expect you to lose interest in them. Kinda like the mentality w/ a teenager thinking they're immortal. That's why it's such a shock to their system if you give any indication you are, you're starting to, or ta da.....interested in someone else! This is an insider secret from a reformed, recovering WAW!

So, my prediction is the begging for you back.

Better run to school,

Sunny

[Nomopo]

Still: What are these "occsasional benefits" you speak of? I don't get it. (Get it!?!? )

The WAS doesn't ever expect you to lose interest in them. Kinda like the mentality w/ a teenager thinking they're immortal. That's why it's such a shock to their system if you give any indication you are, you're starting to, or ta da.....interested in someone else! This is an insider secret from a reformed, recovering WAW!

I love this stuff Sunny. Keep it coming. I think I really have to go there. It may just push my W out altogether, but what have I got to lose? The hard part is, it doesn't feel right to me. I am committed, so that is part of it, and it's scary not knowing how she'll react.

Nomopo

PS -- Sunny, where is your thread?

[stillme]

Love your Insider Secrets, Sunny! I've been hearing the ol' You need to make him see/think he's losing you to someone else line for months now (from well-meaning friends - even H's friends!, family etc) but, like you N, just can't seem to "go there" with it. Certainly not mentally, and even hard physically (like w/even the noticing men, or looking at them as anything more than (sorry-ugh huh?) friends. It's very alien. Ha!

I've even had the crazy idea of asking this studly dad at D's ballet to pretend-interest in me (I wouldn't be seriously interested in him cuz he was the last guy my friend A dated b/f her 'bf problem guy', and, well, I know some inside info that makes me go 'ewww', lol.) Hmm, maybe I should look for a 1-800 Gigilo-for-Hire number?